Once you get to a certain point in your life, the love you desire changes. When you’re young and hormone-driven, a lot of what goes on with love occurs, ahem, below the belt. Even if you think you are “in love” 0r are making a “smart choice,” really, your biology is in charge. In your head, you may be thinking, omg, his eyes are crystal clear, his shoulders wide and strong, he makes a good living, he has potential! But really, in the primitive part of your brain, the one that is still hardwired into survival of the fittest and survival of the species, your biology is saying, “hm, nice strong caveman. Can provide for family. Bring back to cave and make little cavebabies. Now!”
And then a few years pass, and maybe your caveman gets eaten by a sabertooth tiger, or gets beaned by a falling rock and decides to chase the young cavegirl at his cave office. Maybe you’ve had enough of rearranging stone furniture in your cave, so you pick up your basket of berries and move on, too. For a long time, you don’t notice cavemen walking down the street, in the line at the grocery, sitting in the row in front of you at weekend ritual chanting session. And then one day, POW! You notice the arc of a smile, the scent of soap and man sweat. He looks at you like he’s hungry, and you think: ooh, maybe, baby.
So you start dating again. Can’t be that hard, you think. I did it before, I can do it again now that I’m wiser and savvier, you think. But this time around, you look for something different. Not necessarily better, but different, than before. Now, with a few experiences under your snakeskin belt, you’re looking for Sacred Love.
I’ve had puppy love, romantic love, passionate love, and even unrequited love. Love in the shadows, love at the beach; 1,200 thread count love, and hunting lodge love. Instant love, and slow and sassy love. Now, what I’m going for is Sacred Love. You know the kind: something founded in the deep unknown, the mysterious, the mystical. Something with soul, something that’s bigger than the both of us. Not idolized, comes-in-a-pink-box love. This is love that walks up, shakes your hand, and rocks everything you thought was true in the world love.
John Gray talks about how an essential piece of a true and lasting relationship is a presence of spirit, about creating soul-centered love. Sting sings about spicy, sexy, sacred love. “You’re my religion, you’re my church, you’re the holy grail at the end of my search.” They’re talking about surrendering to a love that is bigger than the both of us. Now there’s some love worth believing in. Love, C
My two cents: you don’t have to believe in love, but love will always believe in you.
I know now that sacred love has always been what I have been waiting for. On a deep soul level I always knew that was the kind of relationship I would have, even before I knew that kind of relationship existed. A relationship infused with spirit is the only way to go for me. Now that I know, there is no going back. No more unconscious, ego-based love affairs for me. I think when part of you knows that something is going to be such a big part of your life, as my spiritual practice has become, all the pieces have to be laid out and you have to be ready before the person can come in.
I know now that what I wanted even five years ago wasn’t even close to what I want now. Amazing how things work out. I am so happy that I have guidance, and that I have faith, and believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now in this moment. All the men from my past have shown me what I do and don’t want so I could get really clear and I am grateful for every last one of them.
I know now how important it is to have someone to walk this path with me. Someone who is connected in spirit that wants to learn and grow and expand with me. This is an element that even five years ago I would have totally compromised on. How sad would that have been.
So what now? Get ready so you can be ready. Get yourself in a good place where you feel you know who you are, what you want, what is important to you, where you will compromise and where you won’t. Find romantic role models: Sting and Trudie Styler, Jerry and Esther Hicks, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks to name a few of mine.
Think about it, if you could have any relationship in the world what would it feel like. Have fun with this and know that just like asking a genie in a lamp, the magic of the universe will bring you exactly what you want. xo-K
My two cents: Believe in what you want , not in what is right now.