A lot of people were shocked to hear about the whole Sandra Bullock/Jesse James scandal, I was not surprised at all. Maybe it’s because I’ve had my share of bad boys and I know how the whole thing plays out. I am just now working on for my own benefit, and for anyone who cares to read this, why bad boys are so dang appealing.
I have to take that back, I actually know why bad boys are so appealing, they tend to be more fun, it’s kind of a challenge to rope one in, they keep you on your toes, all the girls want them. I could go on. . . . The real question is why do we, I say we, cause I am 99.999% sure I am not alone on this one, try to change the bad boy into a good boy when it is clear we are truly not ready for someone good. Why don’t we just enjoy the ride that the bb shows us? Doesn’t all the trouble start when we fall in love with the little buggers and try to clean them up and make them presentable? Just askin’.
I personally have always loved a challenge, and getting the lead singer or the confirmed bachelor to fall for me, well isn’t that the ultimate challenge? But doesn’t that also seem like a lot of work? Is love supposed to be so hard? Is easy boring? There is something so exciting about waiting-hoping for that phone call that you aren’t 100% sure is going to come, it’s like a rush. It just feels different when someone says they are going to call at 6:00 and they do, right on the button, every time. What’s fun about that? Where is the drama, the mystery? Therein lies my problem: why is someone showing up for me boring? Arrrr, this is gonna be interesting!
Maybe for me I have felt that if I date down the guy will be so happy to have me that he won’t leave. Yeah, well that doesn’t work because what if the guy I’m dating doesn’t make as much money as me, doesn’t feel successful or feels inferior in one way or another. For many guys, if they feel insecure or threatened in some way, they tend to get mean, or cheat or try to bring me down. And none of those things feel good.
I have a dear friend, who has a successful dental practice, she is dating a man she loves but he is a total bb. He is a currently unemployed mechanic. I have not met him personally since they don’t live in town so all I have to go on is what she says. She has told me she doesn’t feel comfortable bringing him to any of her work functions, and he has no desire to go. She hates being around his “low life” friends, her words not mine. They seem to be in love and are discussing the idea of getting married. I don’t see how this is going to work out and I think she is feeling the same way at some level. She has said she feels a little embarrassed about him and she thinks he feels a little insecure around her. I wish them the best in figuring it out.
As much as I can appreciate a bb and the fun they bring to the party, I am looking forward to being able to appreciate a good guy even more. xo-K
My two cents: Enjoy where you are, appreciate everyone in your life for who and what they are. Maybe they are there for a reason.
Holy heartbreak, Batman! Is there anything more tempting to a good girl than a bad boy? I don’t care how sophisticated you are, how many PhD’s you hold, how many empires you rule, bad boys are the kryptonite of good girls everywhere.
And I’m not just talking Sandra and Jesse here! Although may I just say, how much more obvious a bad boy can he be than if he is the direct descendant of an infamous outlaw and was once married to a porn star. Hello? Universe calling America’s girl next door: there’s a cosmic 2X4 engraved with your initials headed your way! Eep.
But Sandra’s not the first and she sooo won’t be the last. I’m a huge fan of the whole Anne Boleyn saga (yeah, yeah, I’m a geek). You know Anne: ambitious young tart who convinced bloated Henry VIII to divorce his Castilian wife, divorce Rome, set up his own little religious dynasty. In the end, she married the old goat, then lost her head when she couldn’t give him a baby boy. Tsk.
Then, one of my personal favorites, one of the most passionate/wrong couples of all time: Freida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. Rivera was a big old macho cheater terrified of his wife’s painting talent, which he feared would eclipse his own. Okay, maybe Freida had issues. She survived a streetcar accident that skewered her like a shish kabob, only to fall in love with Diego. The streetcar wasn’t her undoing, it was Diego. She survived the streetcar; she never got over the man.
I could go on. I’ve had my share of the bb’s, too. How can you tell if the guy you’re over the moon for is a bb? Do your friends like him? Does he like your friends — you know, the ones who love you with such fierce intensity he’d melt like wax in their presence? No? He’s a bb. Have you ever caught him in a lie, especially one that made him twist and shimmy like a worm on a hook until he finally hit a magic combination of words that made you doubt your own sanity? Big bb. I know you. You’re just like me. And no matter what your story or where you’ve been, you deserve better, I totally guarantee it. Love, C
My two cents: Nice guys are not boring, boring guys are boring. Don’t confuse them!