Monthly Archives: March 2010

good girls & bad boys

A lot of people were shocked to hear about the whole Sandra Bullock/Jesse James scandal, I was not surprised at all.  Maybe it’s because I’ve had my share of bad boys and I know how the whole thing plays out.  I am just now working on for my own benefit, and for anyone who cares to read this, why bad boys are so dang appealing.

I have to take that back, I actually know why bad boys are so appealing, they tend to be more fun, it’s kind of a challenge to rope one in, they keep you on your toes, all the girls want them.  I could go on. . . .  The real question is why do we, I say we, cause I am 99.999% sure I am not alone on this one, try to change the bad boy into a good boy when it is clear we are truly not ready for someone goodWhy don’t we just enjoy the ride that the bb shows us? Doesn’t all the trouble start when we fall in love with the little buggers and try to clean them up and make them presentable?  Just askin’.

I personally have always loved a challenge, and getting the lead singer or the confirmed bachelor to fall for me, well isn’t that the ultimate challenge?  But doesn’t that also seem like a lot of work?  Is love supposed to be so hard? Is easy boring?  There is something so exciting about waiting-hoping for that phone call that you aren’t 100% sure is going to come,  it’s like a rush. It just feels different when  someone says they are going to call at 6:00 and they do, right on the button, every time. What’s fun about that?  Where is the drama, the mystery?  Therein lies my problem: why is someone showing up for me boring?  Arrrr, this is gonna be interesting!

Maybe for me  I have felt that if I date down the guy will be so happy to have me that he won’t leave.  Yeah, well that doesn’t work because what if the guy I’m dating doesn’t make as much money as me, doesn’t feel successful  or feels inferior in one way or another.  For many guys, if they feel insecure or threatened in some way, they tend to get mean, or cheat or try to bring me down.  And none of those things feel good.

I have a dear friend, who has a successful dental practice, she is dating a man she loves but he is a total bb.  He is a currently unemployed mechanic.  I have not met him personally since they don’t live in town so all I have to go on is what she says.  She has told me she doesn’t feel comfortable bringing him to any of her work functions, and he has no desire to go.  She hates being around his “low life” friends, her words not mine.  They seem to be in love and are discussing the idea of getting married.  I don’t see how this is going to work out and I think she is feeling the same way at some level.   She has said she feels a little embarrassed about him and she thinks he feels a little insecure around her.  I wish them the best in figuring it out.

As much as I can appreciate a bb and the fun they bring to the party, I am looking forward to being able to appreciate a good guy even more. xo-K

My two cents: Enjoy where you are, appreciate everyone in your life for who and what they are.  Maybe they are there for a reason.

♥♥♥

Holy heartbreak, Batman! Is there anything more tempting to a good girl than a bad boy? I don’t care how sophisticated you are, how many PhD’s you hold, how many empires you rule, bad boys are the kryptonite of good girls everywhere.

And I’m not just talking Sandra and Jesse here! Although may I just say, how much more obvious a bad boy can he be than if he is the direct descendant of an infamous outlaw and was once married to a porn star. Hello? Universe calling America’s girl next door: there’s a cosmic 2X4 engraved with your initials headed your way! Eep.

But Sandra’s not the first and she sooo won’t be the last. I’m a huge fan of the whole Anne Boleyn saga (yeah, yeah, I’m a geek). You know Anne: ambitious young tart who convinced bloated Henry VIII to divorce his Castilian wife, divorce Rome, set up his own little religious dynasty. In the end, she married the old goat, then lost her head when she couldn’t give him a baby boy. Tsk.

Then, one of my personal favorites, one of the most passionate/wrong couples of all time: Freida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. Rivera was a big old macho cheater terrified of his wife’s painting talent, which he feared would eclipse his own. Okay, maybe Freida had issues. She survived a streetcar accident that skewered her like a shish kabob, only to fall in love with Diego. The streetcar wasn’t her undoing, it was Diego. She survived the streetcar; she never got over the man.

I could go on. I’ve had my share of the bb’s, too.  How can you tell if the guy you’re over the moon for is a bb?  Do your friends like him? Does he like your friends — you know, the ones who love you with such fierce intensity he’d melt like wax in their presence? No?  He’s a bb. Have you ever caught him in a lie, especially one that made him twist and shimmy like a worm on a hook until he finally hit a magic combination of words that made you doubt your own sanity? Big bb. I know you. You’re just like me. And no matter what your story or where you’ve been, you deserve better, I totally guarantee it. Love, C

My two cents: Nice guys are not boring, boring guys are boring. Don’t confuse them!

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mirror mirror in my hand

Don’t you love how the universe is always showing you to yourself? When I first starting studying metaphysics and learning that we literally create our world with our thoughts, it changed everything I understood to be true. Seriously! I felt like Alice down the Rabbit hole. “But if everything I thought was true really isn’t, then what is true?” Great question!

Once, I knew a girl who had been diabetic since she was 12 years old. Man, that is rough. Being a teenager is tough enough, what with all those simmering hormones swelling up and crashing through your bloodstream, but imagine having to stop and measure your blood sugar too? And learning how to give yourself shots? It’s amazing what we sign up for on the other side before we jump into Earth School!

Anyway, so after reading Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” — which I totally recommend keeping on a shelf in your home at all times — I casually asked my friend one day, “so, your pancreas stopped working when you were 12 years old, right?” Warily, my friend who was only just beginning to study metaphysics and the mind/body connection, said, “yes.”

According to Louise Hay, the body never lies. Even if we can convince ourselves that we don’t feel smothered and that asthma is just a random condition, or that the mutant carcinoma cells in our colon have nothing to do with our inability to let go of past hurts, our body isn’t fooled and is holding a mirror up to us at all times to let us know how our thoughts are literally creating our world. Its subtle messages are saying, “pay attention to this symptom! This whisper is the cosmic calling card that arrives before the cosmic two-by-four!” Or something like that. Deep stuff.

So back to my friend. I said, “didn’t your parents divorce when you were 12? Is that when the sweetness went out of your life?” My friend, “B” thought I was blaming her for her condition. “How can you say that!” She cried. “I have a disease! It’s not my fault!”

I wasn’t blaming B for her diabetes. I was trying to connect the dots between her emotional happiness and her health. According to the Laws of Attraction, if you can create illness, you can create health. Oh, oh. This means that there is no victim. Ever. We create the conditions of our lives, and we can change them. Easier said than done. Have you ever tried to change your mind about something you thought you believed? Well, you can’t always believe everything you think.

If something is showing up in your life, you have to admit that its there because of a thought you hold. If you don’t have enough money, maybe you don’t believe you’re worthy. If  you have an illness, maybe there’s an underlying belief that if you’re sick, you don’t have to be accountable for your life.

Have I got this down? Oh, heck no. But I do know this: the mirror in my hand is held by me, me, nobody else but me. It’s all about me! Love, C

My two cents: dear God, please don’t change the conditions of my life, help me change my mind about them. Amen.

♥♥♥

Wow, that can seem a bit rough, telling someone who is really sick or hurting that  you create your own reality by your thoughts. That can feel like a slap in the face when you don’t understand the laws of the Universe.  It’s not that we do these things to ourselves on purpose, it really is just sloppy thinking, or being around less than positive thinking people or just wanting to be right and digging your heals in.

A few hours ago I stopped by the store for a few things, I was in the quick checkout line  and it was not moving quickly at all.  I glanced over at a People magazine and on the cover was Elizabeth Edwards.  She has been on a few covers lately, so it wasn’t really her that caught my eye but the headline Elizabeth Edwards, How Much More Can She Take? What came to mind for me as I was looking at is was: how much more is it going to take?

I don’t know her and really don’t have any judgment about her or her husband one way or another but it seems to me that she is getting so many signs that she is supposed to make some huge changes regarding her life and possibly her marriage, she seems to be getting a cosmic 2×4 across her head.  Does she deserve it, no, nobody deserves to be kicked again and again when they are down.  Does she need it?  Maybe she does.  I think sometimes people want their way so bad and want to be right that they are going to hold their ground no matter what. I wonder how that’s working for her?

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know it doesn’t work for me anymore, if it ever did in the first place.  I am getting more clear, seeing more clearly into the mirror that is me and not pushing against what I don’t want anymore.  I am no longer using what happened to me when I was a child, or what happened to me last week as my excuse to not be happy.  I don’t need to be right all the time, and when things are not going the way that is best  for me I really try to look and see what I am doing or thinking that might be contributing to the issue.

A few weeks ago, I had a bladder infection that was quite persistent.  I got a prescription, hey that’s what you do right? Well it didn’t work so I called the doctor and got another one.  Still nothing.  Now I know this stuff so it only took me two weeks to consider that maybe there was something about this that I needed to look at.  Sure enough, I looked it up in You Can Heal Your Life, and what do you know,  under bladder infection it said, Anxiety, holding on to old ideas, fear of letting go and  something or someone is “pissing you off.” There is was, that was it.  There was an issue with someone at work that I hadn’t dealt with and I knew as soon as I read it that I had some work to do. xo-K

My two cents:  Taking responsibility for your part in whatever is going on in your life isn’t blaming you, it is giving you back your power to make your life the way you want it.


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two a T

C and I have been friends for years.  We are so alike but so different. Different political views, different educational background, different family background, you name it.   As I have noted before we live in different states and are blogging remotely and are on the phone constantly.  Even before we started this blog, we were  working on our “stuff.” We always seemed to be kinda on a similar path, spiritually and in our relationships with men.  And at one point we even thought we were dating the same guy. . . .

So one day, C comes in to the salon and she is just glowing.  I met someone! she exclaimed.  “Wow,” I said, “That’s awesome.  I’m so excited for you!”  I had just started dating someone myself but it was still so new, I let her go first.  His name is “T,” she went into all the stats of her new beau and I felt — actually I don’t know what I felt in that moment it was so long ago –but I do remember that I too, was dating a guy named “T” and it was all sounding very familiar. Like she was talking about my guy.  So many similarities: same line of business, check; age, check; boat, check. There was one big thing that we were going to find out later on down the line.  Neither one of these handsome suitors, and yes we did eventually get them into the same room together at one point, was ever going to commit to either one of us. . . ever.

And I have to say it was not for lack of creative manipulation on both of our parts. We worked it, in every way we could. We spent a lot of time and energy talking about how elusive the little buggers were and how we were going to be so amazing and indispensable that there was no way they would ever want to let either of us go.

Thinking back on that time, we spent so much time dissecting every conversation we each had with our “T’s,” getting each others’ opinion on what the other thought he meant by that comment he made or didn’t make.  If men only knew what women really talked about when they weren’t around!  Oh my, well it’s just a good thing they don’t.  So much drama, my head hurts just thinking about it.

Instead of just living in the moment, letting whatever is supposed to happen happen and actually enjoying someone’s company, we  always have to be planning the future and every move someone makes has to have some hidden meaning, doesn’t it?  Some clue as to what is going to happen next or not happen. . . .

Years later and after hundreds of hours logged on via telephone between C and me, both of the “Ts” were history. C had her end after being left on the side of the road after a disagreement during what was supposed be a romantic getaway in Maui. As for me, I just got tired of running back and forth between two houses with a duffel bag and waiting for someone who was supposed to love me to ask me to stay in one place permanently.

They were the ones who couldn’t commit, we cried,  as we had what would be one of many pity parties.  We were there and we were ready, they were the ones with the problems, right?  We both felt so justifiably hurt and angry.  So. . . why do you think that both of these confirmed bachelors were married to the next girls they dated after we broke it off with them?  Ouch!

Maybe they were not the ones with the commitment issues after all.

To be continued…. xo-K

My two cents:  Relationships are like mirrors, what is being reflected back to you is always YOU.

♥♥♥

Okay, no one ever said this work was easy, but sometimes you have to just allow yourself to laugh about it, right??  I remember that golden day, sitting in K’s salon, having told her all about my new beau. I remember thinking it was such a funny coincidence that our two T’s were so similar.  Yeah, the cosmos has quite a sense of humor!

I met my T on my back porch. Literally. I woke up one morning, and wearing little more than an over-sized denim shirt, stumbled into my living room, and gazed out the sliding window at what looked like a Norse god. Yum. I opened the door and said, “what the hell are you doing on my porch? Tell me quick or I’m calling the cops!” Or something friendly like that. Hey! A girl living alone doesn’t take chances when strange men appear on her doorstep. Oh, wait.

Anyway, it all seemed meant to be. I mean seriously? My doorstep! The first time we kissed was like jumping into the path of a runaway train. No going back, baby. Was he The One? Oh, heck no. Did he show up in my life to teach me lessons? Big time. He was one of my biggest projects to date. And for that, a part of me will always love him for it. I’ll even love the fact that one week after he dropped me off on the side of the road in Maui, he IM’d me to tell me he was getting married. And today? I’m soooo glad I wasn’t the one he married. And I’m about 99.999 percent sure that K is over the moon she didn’t marry her T, either.

Every relationship you have is really about one person: you. So, here’s the deal. You can work on your “stuff” in a relationship, or you can work on it outside a relationship. It’s just easier when there’s two. Marianne Williamson says that relationships are like rock tumblers for the soul. They rub off all the sharp edges.

You would have thought that the T’s put us off love, but au contraire, mon amie! We still believe in the fairy tale ending. Love, C

My two cents: each relationship you have gives you exactly what you need to heal, in the moment. Bless it them all, especially the so-called bad ones.



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partner or project?

Once upon a time I worked in the tasting room of a beautiful little California winery. It was a fun job and we cellar rats got pretty good at predicting which tourists would come in and say they wanted a “dry” wine when that wasn’t what they wanted at all. Sure enough, they’d say ‘dry,’ we’d pour them a fruity, slightly sweet taste, and their eyes would light up. “Perfect!”

According to Robert Ohotto, we say we want a partner, but sometimes, we’re looking for a project.  However, actions speak louder than words. If you’re currently single, look at the last several people you dated that somehow, mysteriously, didn’t work out.  They all seemed so good, they had so much potential, right? Except for that one little annoying thing. . .and you’re sure that if you’d had enough time, you could have figured out how to fix it. True or false? Come on!

Right, and you married girls are not off the hook, either. Fess up: how long did it take to train the mister in the ways of your world? Weeks, months, never? It’s not a judgment, just an observation. I’m just sayin’ we say partner but think project.

Back in the day, the Temptations teamed up with the fabulous Supremes and released a song called “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me.” Lalala,  it sounded romantic enough, but it was wrong. You can’t make someone love you. You can fool them for a while, you can manipulate them, be a doormat, a sex goddess, a race car mechanic; make yourself available, twist yourself into whatever shape you think will trick him into loving you, but you can’t fool the universe, and manipulation always backfires. Always!

Oh sure, it may work for a while, years even. But what do you do when the project is done, when you finally fall down exhausted from all the effort it takes to work at it, and surrender?

I had the realization that I’ve been guilty of project-ing this morning while talking to K and driving to work.  When it dawned on me that I’ve been a Project Proletariat, I almost drove off the road. (Yeah, even though I drive hands free, it’s still roulette. Kids, don’t try this at home!) I can say without a shred of doubt that the last line up of candidates for my affection were flawed and in the back of my Princess and the Pea brain, I was thinking, ‘oh, he’s just wrong about (choose one): a) me, b) him, c) us, d) all of the above. I’ll bring him around, I just know it.  Sheesh.

But I’m not alone, and that’s some consolation. And as they say, when two or more are gathered, miracles occur. So can we be done with the project, already? It’s simply exhausting, the tug-of-war of it all. Let’s allow ourselves to choose someone who wants the same things we do, someone who wants to paddle the canoe in the same direction we do. Sounds nice, right? Love, C

My two cents: if it’s a struggle, it’s a project.

♥♥♥

So how can we tell if a new guy is a  potential partner or a project? Well I think first off we have to stay in the moment and really pay attention. Second,  I don’t know about you but at this point in the game I have a list of negotiable and non-negotiable things that I am really trying to stick to.  From little things like “must be employed” to  “must live nearby” to so I can actually, physically date him.  I have had boyfriends in the past who lived across the country and the thought of us being in the same place was, well, a project.  Too hard, didn’t seem like it could really happen except in our fantasies.  Sweet and romantic, but not realistic.

I have to say, and I am not proud of this fact but it is a fact that I have been known to take on a project or 5 in my time.  I have actually been  fond of the project in the past; it felt like a challenge to me. . . and I am, make that was, always up for a challenge. Ugh, exhausting, and so not worth the effort. I know it might seem fun when you see someone has potential to get in there and help him be better or help him get that job or help him realize he can’t live without you or. . . I am finished trying to convince someone how great they are or how great I am for them.

Let’s just spell it out plain and simple. When you meet the perfect guy for you, and I am not saying there is any perfect guy, cause that would be silly, wouldn’t it? But, when you meet the perfect guy for YOU, take note here. . . pay attention. . . it is going to be easy.

When things are right, they are right.  When things line up, they line up.  When things are meant to be. . . you know where I am going with this.  You have to learn to trust. Trust your guidance, trust your intuition, damn, read your freakin’ horoscope.  The Universe is conspiring for your good. And you need to just go with that.  If it starts getting to complicated, it’s a project, if it’s too hard, project,  as cute as he is, sorry probably not going to happen.

It is so great when you finally get it, it really is.  Just the other day C and I were working on a design project, after throwing around a few ideas and we agreed on one that we though was perfect.  Welllll, we could not get the image to upload to save our lives.  I never claimed to be a computer genius but, come on? It isn’t that hard.  We tried and tried and couldn’t make it happen.  It didn’t take us too long to get that there was something else out there, even though, we really liked our idea, that was way better.

As soon as we realized that, we found the perfect design.  And we both knew it when we saw it.  xo-K

My two cents:  If something seems too hard and it’s not flowing,  there is something better out there for you, and you will just know it when you see it.

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close enough is not good enough

I was talking to one of my clients last month; “L” is a great girl, beautiful, smart, funny, really got her life going on.  Also, she is single and really ready to meet someone special.  She had just started to use one of the online services to wrangle up some introductions and encountered a few misses and then one that she thought would possibly be a hit.

L told me as I worked my magic on her hair, that she had met someone who seemed great. They had shared a few playful, witty e-mail exchanges, then a phone call or two, then some  texting back and forth.  Although there were a few slight red flags (hey, who doesn’t have a few faults, right?), she decided to meet him live and in person.  They had a great time and she was kind of excited about the prospect of exploring something new.  She liked his energy, got a good feeling about him, and although it was just one face to face meeting, she was open to getting to know if there could possibly be anything there.  She was not projecting or planning a future with some guy who she hardly knew. No, she was just open to it. And it seemed to her that the feeling was mutual.

So imagine her surprise when she didn’t get more than a few follow up e-mails but no interest in seeing her again.  Man, there seems to be a lot of that going around these days!

L was a little disappointed and since she didn’t even know this guy, it really wasn’t about him per se, but the idea of someone like him.  She was feeling a bit defeated, thinking possibly that she was never going to meet someone she really liked that felt the same way about her.  I had to remind her that she was getting really close.  This guy seemed to have a lot of the the aspects she was looking for in a partner but he had a few big ones that she was NOT.  He had some financial issues and another big one: he was not really ready for a relationship.  And after discussing what happened with him, L knew that was the case.  So really, close enough is not good enough.  We all need to remember that.  The universe has someone so perfect for you that you couldn’t plan it if you tried.

So then, C and I were talking about this very thing this morning.  We have been friends for years and have known that we wanted to do some sort of project or work together in some capacity.  She even talked to the owner of the salon I work at while she was on hiatus from non-profit work and had on her esthetician’s hat.  It just didn’t work out.  Wasn’t the right thing, wasn’t the right time.  We could have never in a million years predicted that we would, years later, be writing together. Never.

So, I guess what I am reminding you and myself as well, and I do need to be reminded… all the time.  You ‘ve just got to put it out there and have faith in something, anything, that what you want  is coming to you.  And so much better than you could have ever imagined!  xo-K

My two cents:  Dream big, but don’t be attached to how it will come. Just allow.

♥♥♥

I adore the movie Shakespeare in Love. It’s fun, funny, Joseph Fiennes is delish, and the irony of a guy who can’t seem to get love right, writing about love about kills me.  I too, am a fan of ironic plots, just not when it comes to my love life. Oh, wait –.

Well anyway, back to Shakespeare and his problems with romance. Young Will is a hot mess. Rosalind has cut him off, he’s got writer’s block, he owes some very nasty men a large sum of money, and he wonders aloud if everything will turn out all right. Oh, sure it will, a friend tells him.  But, how? a doubtful Will insists. “Dunno,” the man replies. “It’s a mystery.”

We always know that things will work out, because they always do. But that doesn’t stop us from getting our stockings in a knot when things don’t go exactly the way we think they should, does it? Trust is a funny thing. It seems like the times that you need it the most, are the times when you’re most likely to shove it aside and go for immediate gratification. “Trust? What trust? I want it my way and I want it now!” or “I’ve been hurt and will never trust again!” Wow, really? Because never is a really, really long time. If I were superstitious, I’d go so far as to say that simply invoking the word ‘trust’ is begging the cosmos to challenge you to an immediate duel and you might as well give up because there’s just no winning that one.

Anyway, the Course in Miracles states that you cannot trust and doubt at the same time. Just like you can’t love and hate at the same time. They are opposites and can’t occupy the same space in your heart or mind. You have to pick one or the other. But we do that, don’t we? We say we trust and then when the first bump in the road to happiness appears, we go all to pieces, fretting and plotting and manipulating for the shortcut back to Happyville — or at least our idea of Happyville.  It isn’t the thing itself so much as it is our idea of what we think the thing can do for us, how it can make us feel. The thing itself is almost irrelevant — we’re really just invested in the idea.

Love is the trickiest challenge of all. We’re bombarded by it in the media, we’re surrounded by blissfully paired people as we go about our daily lives, and we’ve all known someone who settled, gave in to less than they’re worthy of, just bowed out of the race because the finish line just seemed too far away and required too much work, and “good enough” was standing right there with nothing better to do but hook up. “At least they’re not alone,” right? Wrong! I can’t think of a more lonely fate than to be hitched to someone who doesn’t shift my gravitational pull by walking in a room. There is nothing sadder than being lonely and not actually being alone. Egads, girls! ‘Close enough’ are not words of surrender.  Close enough, means hold on chickie, you’re almost there! As one of our fav teachers says, don’t give up two minutes before the miracle arrives. Love, C

My two cents: know your value, know your worth, and commit your heart to at least one good friend who will remind you of it if you temporarily forget!


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family matters

I had a great bonding session with my brother last weekend.  Our “big” sister has moved Mom and Pop in with her so she can take better care of them. After a lifetime of independent living, they’re finally reaching a stage where they need a little assistance, and we are grateful our sister is there for them.

In the meantime, said sister has put the parent’s house on the market. For the past 20 years, they’ve lived in a small resort community in a modest little waterfront home. Last Friday, my brother called me and said that he was driving up the coast to paint the parental unit’s home, a long-0verdue task. Being no stranger to home improvements, and having volunteered for the assignment in a generous moment, my brother phoned and called my bluff.

“B” and I are the youngest two of five children and even though we had the shared experience of growing up in the same family, we haven’t been close for years. This weekend was a rare chance for us to spend time together as grown up people.

I love my brother. That said, we could not be more different. He’s a good husband, a great dad to two amazing boys, and is a rigidly conservative Christian. On the other hand, I am divorced, the closest I’ve come to mothering is owning pets, and have been known to dance naked under a pagan moon. The thing is, we’re family. No matter how different we are, there’s a sameness that there’s no escaping. We have a shared past, a genetic bond that counts.

So this weekend, we painted. We told jokes, shared insights, drank good coffee and avoided the really touchy subjects of God, religion, politics, because that’s just asking for trouble. We were on a mission of peace, and worked under the flag of detente.

At one point however, we had a disagreement. We both shared our differing opinions like adults, and then he went ahead and did it his way, anyway. FOOM!  I went from zero to bitch in about six seconds. But, what did I do? I stuffed it (I know, I know, I’m learnin’ here!). But he wasn’t fooled for a minute. “Are you mad at me?” he asked. And then Hurricane C let loose. Oh, hells yeah, I was mad. And being the darling man he is, B listened while I vented. He didn’t fight back, he just listened until I felt heard and ran out of steam, and then we moved on to another topic. Before long, we were laughing and joking, working side by side again.

He doesn’t know it, but B gave me a huge gift. By letting me use him for communication practice, I got a little better with feeling safe about sharing my feelings. Big deal? Huge. Love ya, B! Love, C

My two cents: good relationships take practice. Appreciate the people who let you use your training wheels!

♥♥♥

See, it just goes to show you that just because we are  writing this stuff doesn’t mean we have it all figured out.  Far from it.  The practice of writing this blog is helping us grow and learn in such  a huge way it is absolutely amazing.  I have become so hyper-aware of stuff when it comes up, if I am talking to C on the phone –and in case you didn’t know, C and I are rarely in the same place at the same time.  We live a state apart sharing these lovely thoughts with y’all, so most of our interaction is on speaker phone, with one of us taking notes. If  she starts going out (ie. unconscious, or as Abraham calls it  out of the Vortex), I stop her in her tracks and tell her, “You gotta blog about this, NOW, while it is still fresh.”  And she does, and she works her stuff out and is on to the next thing.  How did we live before we started this?

Even doing this on a daily basis, we still can get caught up in stuff as it is going on.  I think we have all been doing it so long, it’s just what we do.  Stuff it down, justify, get our panties in a bunch, pretty much anything but just deal with whatever is going on right when it’s going on.  Seems kinda silly when you look at it that way, but everyone seems to do the same thing when it comes to conflict.  Even minor conflict.

I don’t have a huge family. I am an only child and we didn’t have a lot of religion growing up, but I think my dad still thinks I am kind of odd with my positive spin to life. . . like it’s a bad thing.  I’ve spent most of my life just not speaking up to my parents if they upset me.  I just stayed away from them until I was over it.  Yea,   that is what I used to do. Now, I speak up when I’m upset  and I think it really has brought us closer.

Anyway, it can be challenging to break old patterns, especially ones you’ve been practicing all your life. But seriously? You can do it, and right now is a great time to start! xo-K

My two cents:  Practice with the people who are close to you, especially family, where there’s a bit of a built in safety net, but you probably won’t need one.

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grace notes~

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I want a little something to get my day started with grace, and I discovered a really nice way to do just that. Cheryl Richarson is a Hay House author and has a program on Hay House Radio (don’t you just love the Internet?!).

Cheryl is a life coach, intuitive, and all around beautiful human being. She’s devised a set of oracle cards that you can pull when you feel like receiving a special message of love and encouragement, and like the fabulous goddess that she is, Cheryl offers free sample readings online. The artwork on the cards is elegant, and the messages. . .well, let me just say that the cards are inspired.  All you have to do is go to Cheryl’s website, click on “A Touch of Grace” and follow the instructions to get your own personal message. Give it a try, and get your day started with a grace note! Love, C & K

My two cents: a day that starts with grace is a gift to the world.

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