Category Archives: relationships

never the same…

September was a crazy month. Early on, things started going haywire, Mercury was retrograde, and all kinds of trouble was brewing. Everything just seemed a little extra intense. Then K and I tuned in to numerologist Tania Gabrielle and she shed a little light on the numbers at play, and everything made sense.

We’ve been working at this stuff long enough that when things start to spin out of control, we stop and take a breath.  At such times, we know that something bigger is at work. Such a relief! Well, mostly. I’ve got a shopping list of issues that are up for me. These concerns are like old friends, visiting once more. They have settled in comfortably, waiting for me to see them for what they are: lessons to be learned and let go of. Come on!

The thing is, once you know how things work, there’s no going back. There’s no blaming anyone else for the elements at work in your life. Money? Work? Love? These are the themes we work with, but the lessons all tend to be related to the same source: healing our own sacred wounds, those old friends, the ones we came here to heal.

You know what I mean. The bff who always seems to fall for the married guy, no matter what. Or the friend of a friend who switches jobs, but always seems to land a boss who takes advantage of her kind nature, and never really gives her the props she deserves. Is it a coincidence that these issues come up again and again? Does it mean we’re flawed and doomed to replay our lives Groundhog Day style forever? No. Yes.

Remember Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? He was cursed to wake up to Sonny & Cher every morning, meet the same small town people, deal with the same annoying dilemmas until he changed his mind. Once he got it, once he realized that he was the force of magic behind it all, he had the power to change it. When he did, everything fell into place, even the love he so deeply desired. As it turns out, we are all the magic we need. Love, C

My two cents: when I allow my soul to govern my decisions, everything works  out better for me.

♥♥♥

Are healing old patterns up now or what?  Seems like all my old dusty patterns that have been stored waaaay down deep are coming up and out to be healed once and for all. Finally!  Wow, that was a mouthful, but so true.

I was telling C a few weeks ago that it felt like someone was taking a miner’s pick  and chipping off any residual anything that is still there. Like plaque between your teeth, it almost becomes a part of you.  I have been working on all this stuff for so long but there was still the really stubborn patterns and beliefs that didn’t want to budge.  All I can say is be careful what you ask for, it’s a bumpy ride.

There were days that I couldn’t get out of bed, not from depression, but I think I was doing so much healing work in my sleep, I felt as if I had been drugged.  Very weird, but after a few days I had some really big aha moments, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.  No, I can absolutely say I will never be the same.

I see the dynamics from my original family so clearly now. For years I felt bad, felt guilty, felt wrong, I was blamed and took the blame for things that were never my fault.  I guess it was the lesser of two evils.  When I think of all the years I tried to right the wrongs that were never really wrong, playing the scenario over and over with different partners, trying to heal the past. I didn’t get it. But now I do.

Writing this blog has helped me so much, between my Ken doll theory and Dating my Dad, it’s all brought me to this place now,  what a fun way to work on your stuff.  I’ll tell you one thing, as seductive as it is to just act like things are okay when they’re not,  just know you are only prolonging the inevitable.  Nothing goes away by itself, nothing gets healed without you working on it, and it may be as simple as just looking at it, honestly.  Everything that comes into your life is there for a reason, to heal your heart   and guide you to  your most amazing life.  xo-K

My two cents:  how many days or dates are you going to have to do over and over again until you get what you came here to learn.

 

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Filed under astrology, Inspiration, Karma, relationships

best friends forever

When I was in High School my best friend D was my partner in crime.  We got ourselves into all kinds of mayhem, we could plot and scheme our way into or out of anything. Harmless stuff really. Need to borrow a car?  Who cared if we were only fifteen and didn’t have a license? Not us.  Home way past curfew?  We could talk our way out of that.  Hell, we even convinced our counselor that we needed to skip fifth  period psychology every Friday, just ‘cuz.

If we needed to figure anything out, between the two of us we could do it, and do it brilliantly.  We felt like Lucy and Ethel, and of course we always had our Rickys and Freds waiting in the wings, scratching their heads but loving every minute of it.

There is something so wonderful about having a best friend  you can totally depend on,  someone who loves you unconditionally and is always there for you.  The keeper of your secrets and dreams.  I’ve been very lucky to have many best friends throughout my life.  I am an only child, so friends are probably more precious to me since I never had a sibling.  My friends where my family.

I’ve also had my share of boyfriends.   But I’ve never had a boyfriend who was a best friend. I guess I always thought  you had your friends and then you had your dates.  How many hours did the “girls” spend trying to figure out the “boys”?  Way too many. I never considered you could have a partner who was also your best friend.

The  first time I saw an example of this was at an Abraham-Hicks workshop.  It was clear to me that Esther and Jerry Hicks had something very special.  They are partners in crime for sure and they love working together, “being” together, and it’s obvious they really enjoy each other.  I love how they are together.

Last Sunday I was watching “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives,” on the Food Network.   I wasn’t really paying much attention until I saw this couple.  They were driving across the country visiting as many of the “Dives” that Guy Fieri highlighted on the show as they could.  They were so cool, it was clear that they were enjoying what they were doing, and enjoying each other.  They seemed to be having so much fun, so in sync.  Like best friends. Then it hit me,  that’s what I want in a relationship!  xo-K

My two cents:  Once you recognize what you want you start to see more and more examples of it.

♥♥♥

Yeah, friends and lovers.  Sometimes they’re the same person, sometimes they’re not. During one of my most epic break-ups, mi amor cried and said he was losing his best friend. I don’t know what was sadder: the break-up, or that I couldn’t tell him I was losing my bf, too. Ouch to the nth.

Do we expect too much from our lovers? Sometimes, I think so. We have these ideas about who and what they should be and when they show us who they really are, we’re disappointed.  But I don’t think that the way to avoid being disappointed is to stop loving. Oh, heck no.  This tattered heart of mine will continue to beat for love until I’m wearing angel wings, and then some. The answer isn’t to shut down. The answer is perhaps, to love differently.

What we expect from love has evolved over time. The notion of marriage for love is pretty  new, historically speaking. Marriages used to be a business arrangement to secure countries, farms, goats, you name it. Marriage wasn’t about love, it was a transaction. If you got love in the bargain, bonus!  Now that I have become a woman of a certain age, I might even venture to suggest that much of what could be called romantic love is biology at work. I thought I loved my first husband, but now I wonder: was it my heart that was running the show, or my ovaries? Not that I didn’t love him, I did. But maybe not for the reasons I believed.

Best friends are simple. Love is tricky. As a girl, my grandmother fell in love with a boy who lived in a nearby town, but her parents had already chosen a husband for her, my grandfather. Many years later, after Grandpa passed, Grandma looked up her old beau. By then he was widowed too, and they married. In their twilight time, they finally got to express the love they had sparked fifty years earlier. Were they bf’s? I don’t know. But I do know that the initial love they felt had survived the passage of time.

I adore my friends. If my lover also happens to be my bf, I consider myself one lucky girl. Love, C

My two cents: Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your lover closest of all.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4vQwrHZWWk

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you probably think this blog is about you

Everyone loves Two Girls!!  I am shocked, amazed, awestruck, amused and most of all grateful.  C and I have always written from the heart, and we usually write about what is happening. . . right now.  That being said, everyone who comes in contact with us is potentially Two Girls material.  As much as we try to mix it up, people might come to the conclusion that  we are talking about them in our blog.  This has happen to me on more than one occasion.

Sometimes we talk about dating and relationships, and C, who btw,  in the past hadn’t  shared much of her personal info when she is dating someone new, is now much more open and lets  her dates know who she is and what she does, including the fact that she writes a blog. This is great, but sometimes  I think, don’t tell them… I want to write about them and now they will totally know we’re talking about them. That being said we  have to be a bit creative when we are telling our story as to not incriminate or hurt feelings.

I have heard from quite a few friends and fans of Two Girls when a post really resonated with them, that they were going through something and then read our most recent post and it was about just the thing they were working through.  I love when that happens.  See: we are all more alike than we are different.

We all want to love and be loved.  We all want health and prosperity for ourselves, our family, and our friends.  We have all dealt with heartache, loss, and disappointment. We have all been afraid.  Lost a job or a loved one.  Or maybe just had a crappy day.  Oh, and don’t get me started on Mercury Retrograde.  We all just want to be happy and have a joy filled life.

September has been a hard month.  There’s a lot going on energetically, it is a great time for releasing, so when stuff comes up for you (and it will), make sure you have someone to work through it with.  Oh, and if you want to be part of  Two Girls, we’d love to have you.  Leave us a comment. Maybe you have something to share that would be beneficial for others to hear.  xo-K

My two cents:  If you think this blog is about you, it is probably for you.

♥♥♥

Yeah, K and I have been working on these principles for a while.  We talk about this stuff for hours.  As time goes by it’s become more and more clear that: a) we’re kinda getting better at it even though we have a ways to go, and b) we  totally see these principles at work in our lives and the lives of those around us. Cool!

It’s so true: we need each other. Not just me and K — all of us. We need each other! Not just for sex and safety and survival, and all that primal stuff. We need each other so that we can see each other, see our own Divine spark reflected back in someone’s eyes.  My blog partner and I are mirrors for each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. . .and then we blog about it.

Yeah, if you know us, chances are that you’ll show up on the “pages” of Two Girls. Not that you will recognize yourself, because that would just not be fair. When we have written about someone without disguise, they knew about it ahead of time and agreed to it.   I have already gone on record that as a writer, my style could be called voyeur. I watch. I watch people, I observe the world.  And then I tell stories.  I know for me, the best part of camping is certainly not the bugs and the dirt . . .it’s the stories around the campfire. Well, the stories and the s’mores and the stars above.

If you think that you see yourself in one of our stories, rest assured you’re not the only one. Are we psychic? Well yeah, sure. But more to the point, we are all sharing an experience here on this groovy little planet and as much as we sometimes think we are all alone, we are not. Do you remember as a teenager, going through some terribly painful initiation on the path to “growing up,”  and thinking what a freak you were, only to hear something, read something, share your story with a trusted friend, then realize that you weren’t alone? We are not alone. We’ve never been alone.

So are we writing about you? Maybe. But more importantly, does what we write mean something to you? That’s the question. Love, C

My two cents: the Divine in me sees the Divine in you and says: Namaste.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g

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resistance is futile

It can’t come as much of a surprise to know that I am a closet Trekie.  Of course the original Star Trek episodes are so campy now.  Nevertheless, Captain Kirk was a total babe in the early days of protecting space virtue. Cute! Then, many space frontiers later, came the much more dignified Captain Jean Luc Piccard.

It was during Piccard’s reign that the starship Enterprise encountered a species known as Borg. The Borg’s trademark tag line is: “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

Abraham-Hicks say that we would manifest our every desire instantly, if we didn’t also have resistance. The trouble is that we say we want something, and we use affirmations and say all the right things, and it still doesn’t appear like magic. So there must be resistance. In a way, the Borg are right. Resistance is futile. Eventually, we’ll get what we want, after we’ve moped around and totally given up the idea of ever having that bright shiny thing. And then shazam! It will appear. Why? Because we gave up wanting it. We also gave up resisting it too, so it was finally able to pop in. Wait. What?

I know. Today at Sunday service, Reverend Lisa was talking about resistance. She said that stress produces resistance.  But, she said, sometimes that event we call stressful is a call to heal something in our life. Our saying NO not only doesn’t help the healing, it also ensures the persistence of the stressor. Call it a boss or a spouse, a neighbor, or parent;  the stress won’t go away until you stop resisting, and simply surrender to the what is.

Of course, it isn’t simply surrender, it’s getting in alignment with what you really want: peace. You can resist, thus defending your right to be outraged, or you can observe the situation, drop the urge to label it “good” or “bad” and simply surrender to being present with it. Ahhh, peace. Resist it and feel the pain again and again, because believe me, until you stop resisting, the Universe will offer you the chance to heal again and again. The Universe is very patient that way.

The extent to which we’re not getting what we want is the extent to which we are resisting it somehow energetically.  Don’t get mad, get in alignment! Love, C

My two cents:  Infinite patience produces immediate results.

♥♥♥

I have to say I was having some resistance writing this post.  I have come back to it about four times and not felt ready to write on it.  Odd considering resistance has been so in my face for the last few weeks.  I am having resistance to resistance.  Nice.  It’s a hard thing to wrap my head around, but I know when I finally get it miracles will happen.

I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks MP3 last week and it was so profound I couldn’t get the idea out of my head.  They said, The ONLY reason you don’t have whatever it is you want is that you have resistance to it. Wow, I had to listen to that over and over again. I started to really notice what I was thinking about.  I have to tell you, as conscious as I try to be and as much as I know about this stuff, I still had thoughts of lack drifting through my mind. No bueno.

What you resist persists. ~Carl Jung.  What you are pushing against, trying to change just keeps on keepin’ on, tricky.  So I guess the best thing to do instead of harping on a problem, worrying until your head hurt is just let it go and be at peace with what is.

If I was entertaining thoughts of why things weren’t working out for me, that is the only reason they aren’t.  That means I am in control of what’s happening and what’s not.  No more blaming anyone or anything if I’m not happy.  I’m in control of what I put my attention on, if I choose to focus on drama and it upsets me, then that’s on me.  I know, at first that almost seems unfair to not be able to assign blame.  But if you take away blame you take back your power.   I think we sometimes forget how powerful we are. xo-K

My two cents:   God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ~Reinhold Niebuhr

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resistance is futile

It can’t come as much of a surprise to know that I am a closet Trekie.  Of course the original Star Trek episodes are so campy now.  Nevertheless, Captain Kirk was a total babe in the early days of protecting space virtue. Cute! Then, many space frontiers later, came the much more dignified Captain Jean Luc Piccard.

It was during Piccard’s reign that the starship Enterprise encountered a species known as Borg. The Borg’s trademark tag line is: “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

Abraham-Hicks say that we would manifest our every desire instantly, if we didn’t also have resistance. The trouble is that we say we want something, and we use affirmations and say all the right things, and it still doesn’t appear like magic. So there must be resistance. In a way, the Borg are right. Resistance is futile. Eventually, we’ll get what we want, after we’ve moped around and totally given up the idea of ever having that bright shiny thing. And then shazam! It will appear. Why? Because we gave up wanting it. We also gave up resisting it too, so it was finally able to pop in. Wait. What?

I know. Today at Sunday service, Reverend Lisa was talking about resistance. She said that stress produces resistance.  But, she said, sometimes that event we call stressful is a call to heal something in our life. Our saying NO not only doesn’t help the healing, it also ensures the persistence of the stressor. Call it a boss or a spouse, a neighbor, or parent;  the stress won’t go away until you stop resisting, and simply surrender to the what is.

Of course, it isn’t simply surrender, it’s getting in alignment with what you really want: peace. You can resist, thus defending your right to be outraged, or you can observe the situation, drop the urge to label it “good” or “bad” and simply surrender to being present with it. Ahhh, peace. Resist it and feel the pain again and again, because believe me, until you stop resisting, the Universe will offer you the chance to heal again and again. The Universe is very patient that way.

The extent to which we’re not getting what we want is the extent to which we are resisting it somehow energetically.  Don’t get mad, get in alignment! Love, C

My two cents:  Infinite patience produces immediate results.

♥♥♥

I have to say I was having some resistance writing this post.  I have come back to it about four times and not felt ready to write on it.  Odd considering resistance has been so in my face for the last few weeks.  I am having resistance to resistance.  Nice.  It’s a hard thing to wrap my head around, but I know when I finally get it miracles will happen.

I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks MP3 last week and it was so profound I couldn’t get the idea out of my head.  They said, The ONLY reason you don’t have whatever it is you want is that you have resistance to it. Wow, I had to listen to that over and over again. I started to really notice what I was thinking about.  I have to tell you, as conscious as I try to be and as much as I know about this stuff, I still had thoughts of lack drifting through my mind. No bueno.

What you resist persists. ~Carl Jung.  What you are pushing against, trying to change just keeps on keepin’ on, tricky.  So I guess the best thing to do instead of harping on a problem, worrying until your head hurt is just let it go and be at peace with what is.

If I was entertaining thoughts of why things weren’t working out for me, that is the only reason they aren’t.  That means I am in control of what’s happening and what’s not.  No more blaming anyone or anything if I’m not happy.  I’m in control of what I put my attention on, if I choose to focus on drama and it upsets me, then that’s on me.  I know, at first that almost seems unfair to not be able to assign blame.  But if you take away blame you take back your power.   I think we sometimes forget how powerful we are. xo-K

My two cents:   God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ~Reinhold Niebuhr

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what's your story?

Have you noticed? Everyone has a story. Actually, my theory is that everyone has two stories.

The first one, your life story, is the story of “where you came from.” You know, the story of your family, the house you grew up in, sibs, parents, family pets, the saga of your first love, etc. So much of this story is colored by memories, both real and imagined.

What I’m beginning to understand, especially as I spend more time with Brad Yates doing tapping exercises, is that so much of our first story, our primal story, goes deep underground. Often, it gets so buried we don’t even know it’s there, until it pops up in behaviors and beliefs we can’t seem to change, no matter how hard we try.

For instance you might believe, way deep down, that you don’t deserve to have enough money to do what you want. Or that money only comes through hard work. You weren’t born with these beliefs, they were programmed into you by the well-meaning beings who fed and clothed you.  They didn’t train you with malice, they were doing the best they could. Nevertheless, these ideas of who you believe you are, are your story. Until you decide they aren’t, which requires honesty and introspection. Are you up for that kind of challenge?

The second kind of story is the daily story. Have you ever noticed that when someone gets all fired up about “something that happened” — a particularly juicy story, they go on and on and on about it? They repeat it to everyone they encounter.

A girl I work with is always up for some kind of drama. Recently I was walking by her desk and she asked me how I was. Naturally, I stopped and answered and then said, “how are you?”  This was her opening. “You won’t believe what happened to me,” she said. “This guy on the corner just asked me for my phone number! Can you imagine that?”  She acted indignant, but it seemed that she somehow also really liked the outrage of it all. “Dear me,” I replied, moving away. “A girl as attractive as you really needs to be careful.”

Another co-worker passed by and she shifted her attention to them, because I obviously wasn’t going to play. As I was walking away, she launched into her story. “You won’t believe what happened to me!”

Yeah, everyone’s got a story, it’s just how we’re wired. The question is, what is the story you tell to anyone who will listen? Love, C

My two cents: make sure the stories you tell yourself have a happy ending!

♥♥♥

I also believe we have two stories, but I think we have the story we are living, what happened in your childhood, or what happened at lunch with your best friend, the story of what is. Then there is the story of how you want your life to be.  We spend a lot of time filling people in on the drama going on in our lives. When someone is filling me in on the laundry list of problems going on in their life, I wonder how many times they have told that story, argued for their limitations, given away their power.

Last week I met a friend of mine for coffee.  We kinda do the same spirit work so it is always really uplifting when we find time to get together.  Anyway, we were discussing an issue about a mutual friend we were both having a problem with.  As we discussed the situation, taking turns telling our version of the story, we were both feeling worse.

We bounced around to other topics, but seemed to keep coming back around to our friend.  Something needed to be worked out, that’s for sure, but we were so stuck in the problem there was no way to see the solution.  Needless to say this was not one of our most uplifting meetings.  Grrrr, seems like we always end up getting together when one of us has something to work on –either an issue with a family member, or a work problem, and we always end up coming to a solution, but this time it was seeming a little hopeless. . . and then we had a breakthrough.

We decided we were going to tell a different story, we had spent the better half of the last few hours talking about what was wrong, we decided to talk about the situation as if it was right.  It was amazing. We held our friend in the light and imagined the problem being resolved drama free.  And you know what?  THAT felt really good! I know it seems a little airy-fairy, but hey if nothing else, we were feeling better.  We saw things how we wanted them to be, we played the wouldn’t it be nice game.  Wow, talk about shifting the energy.

We both were feeling much better which is the reason we have our regular meetings in the first place.  We both had errands to run and things to do before kids needed to be picked up so we parted ways feeling great.

A few days later I got an email from my coffee friend, she told me she talked to our mutual friend and swears her energy has shifted and she is in a much better, more positive place.  Did changing our minds about her and her situation and sending her light shift her?  Who knows, all I know is we all felt better and that’s all that matters.  xo-K

My two cents:  Never tell a story over and over again that doesn’t make you feel good.

watch?v=jcJz-x6idd8

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what’s your story?

Have you noticed? Everyone has a story. Actually, my theory is that everyone has two stories.

The first one, your life story, is the story of “where you came from.” You know, the story of your family, the house you grew up in, sibs, parents, family pets, the saga of your first love, etc. So much of this story is colored by memories, both real and imagined.

What I’m beginning to understand, especially as I spend more time with Brad Yates doing tapping exercises, is that so much of our first story, our primal story, goes deep underground. Often, it gets so buried we don’t even know it’s there, until it pops up in behaviors and beliefs we can’t seem to change, no matter how hard we try.

For instance you might believe, way deep down, that you don’t deserve to have enough money to do what you want. Or that money only comes through hard work. You weren’t born with these beliefs, they were programmed into you by the well-meaning beings who fed and clothed you.  They didn’t train you with malice, they were doing the best they could. Nevertheless, these ideas of who you believe you are, are your story. Until you decide they aren’t, which requires honesty and introspection. Are you up for that kind of challenge?

The second kind of story is the daily story. Have you ever noticed that when someone gets all fired up about “something that happened” — a particularly juicy story, they go on and on and on about it? They repeat it to everyone they encounter.

A girl I work with is always up for some kind of drama. Recently I was walking by her desk and she asked me how I was. Naturally, I stopped and answered and then said, “how are you?”  This was her opening. “You won’t believe what happened to me,” she said. “This guy on the corner just asked me for my phone number! Can you imagine that?”  She acted indignant, but it seemed that she somehow also really liked the outrage of it all. “Dear me,” I replied, moving away. “A girl as attractive as you really needs to be careful.”

Another co-worker passed by and she shifted her attention to them, because I obviously wasn’t going to play. As I was walking away, she launched into her story. “You won’t believe what happened to me!”

Yeah, everyone’s got a story, it’s just how we’re wired. The question is, what is the story you tell to anyone who will listen? Love, C

My two cents: make sure the stories you tell yourself have a happy ending!

♥♥♥

I also believe we have two stories, but I think we have the story we are living, what happened in your childhood, or what happened at lunch with your best friend, the story of what is. Then there is the story of how you want your life to be.  We spend a lot of time filling people in on the drama going on in our lives. When someone is filling me in on the laundry list of problems going on in their life, I wonder how many times they have told that story, argued for their limitations, given away their power.

Last week I met a friend of mine for coffee.  We kinda do the same spirit work so it is always really uplifting when we find time to get together.  Anyway, we were discussing an issue about a mutual friend we were both having a problem with.  As we discussed the situation, taking turns telling our version of the story, we were both feeling worse.

We bounced around to other topics, but seemed to keep coming back around to our friend.  Something needed to be worked out, that’s for sure, but we were so stuck in the problem there was no way to see the solution.  Needless to say this was not one of our most uplifting meetings.  Grrrr, seems like we always end up getting together when one of us has something to work on –either an issue with a family member, or a work problem, and we always end up coming to a solution, but this time it was seeming a little hopeless. . . and then we had a breakthrough.

We decided we were going to tell a different story, we had spent the better half of the last few hours talking about what was wrong, we decided to talk about the situation as if it was right.  It was amazing. We held our friend in the light and imagined the problem being resolved drama free.  And you know what?  THAT felt really good! I know it seems a little airy-fairy, but hey if nothing else, we were feeling better.  We saw things how we wanted them to be, we played the wouldn’t it be nice game.  Wow, talk about shifting the energy.

We both were feeling much better which is the reason we have our regular meetings in the first place.  We both had errands to run and things to do before kids needed to be picked up so we parted ways feeling great.

A few days later I got an email from my coffee friend, she told me she talked to our mutual friend and swears her energy has shifted and she is in a much better, more positive place.  Did changing our minds about her and her situation and sending her light shift her?  Who knows, all I know is we all felt better and that’s all that matters.  xo-K

My two cents:  Never tell a story over and over again that doesn’t make you feel good.

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