Category Archives: soulmate

once you’re clear it’s clear

Clarity is something our souls crave. But we walk around in our dim little haze, comfortable with a gray little world.  We like it. It fits. It requires nothing of us but to keep sleep-walking. But Clarity? That bitch wants things from you!  She wants you to step up. She wants you to take own-her-ship of your life, no more victim, no more wimpy chic. She wants you to let your light shine!

How do you know when you’re clear? You just do.  It’s  a feeling in your blood, a holy presence that sweeps away the mists of doubt and you can see everything  with super sharp focus. You know what that feels like. We’ve all felt it from time to time. Maybe a better question to ask is: how do you get clear? Well, personally, I pray.

Sometimes, I’m bipping right along and I don’t necessarily want more clarity. Right? Things seem just fine the way they are, why rock the boat? Why ask to see things any differently? After all, if it’s different, I might be required to adjust my perception. Change my mind. Change my  expectations. Change my life from mediocre to magnificent. Hate when that happens!

Okay, so there I was: driving from my house up to visit K one day a couple of years ago. I was dating a pretty groovy guy. He wasn’t Mr. Right, but at that time he was Mr. Close Enough. Things were going well.  We were having fun. Why, oh why rock the proverbial boat? Something in me just knew. Something in me wanted to get clear. Dang! So out of the blue, I’m driving along and I just start praying. Show me the truth, I said to the general all-pervading glorious goodness all around me.

Well,  it wasn’t five minutes later that Mr. Man called. I picked up my phone and we started to chat and before you can say Silence is Golden, he spit out a piece of truth. Bless his little heart, he didn’t think it was all that big a deal, but to me? Yeah, super big deal. Deal breaker, actually. Up to that moment I had been happy with fuzzy, and then something changed. In that dazzling, lightning-bolt moment, I got crystal clear. And then suddenly fuzzy just wasn’t enough anymore. Love, C

My two cents: pray for truth and then have the courage to bless what shows up.

♥♥♥

Yup, sometimes you don’t want to know, even when your soul already knows.  Sometimes close enough is good enough, until it’s not anymore.  Seems every time I’ve prayed for clarity, it’s been when I already knew the answer, I just needed confirmation. When you are sure of the way you’re going you don’t stop to ask for directions.  But when you feel lost you probably are.

I was just driving home from dropping my daughter off at school, I was listening to the latest Abraham-Hicks workshop.  Someone asked a question about the latest book that has not been released yet called Spirituality, the Final Frontier. They said they named it that because getting in vibrational alignment with your Source is the last thing people try before they completely give up hope, but it is the only thing that ever really works to begin with.  Ahhh! Clarity is alignment. . . and you just know when you’re there.

As good as it feels to be in alignment and have the clarity that we all really crave, sometimes it feels better to be where you are.  With the boyfriend that you know in your head is not really the one but your heart is hoping will someday change. Or at  the job that feels like, if those other people would just leave me alone to do my work  it would be okay I guess.  Really?  We all know that we didn’t come here for okay.  We came here for amazing, and your soul knows it, and will call you on it every single time.

Do you trust your intuition?  Do you know when something comes up if your initial reaction is your fear-ego or your intuition-higher-self?  Try this out for size: next time someone asks you to do something,  don’t just unconsciously do what you always do. Stop, think, feel.  What comes up for you?  Would you just rather do something you really don’t want to do because it seems easier than telling someone you don’t want to?

Would you rather just stay in your comfort zone because it’s easier than trying something new even though you might love it?  I have been asking myself these  questions lately and I’m so happy with what is opening up for me.  I am seeing life in a whole new way. xo-K

My two cents: open your eyes and  see things clearly, possibly for the first time.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkwJ-g0iJ6w

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soul connections

You know what I’m talking about when I say you’ve had soul connections in your life, right? I’m not just talking about romantic love here. You know deep in your core when you meet someone: a friend, a co-worker, someone at church or the PTA, and you feel that zing somewhere in the region of your heart. You just know. It’s like, hello again.

We all come here to earth school with certain soul agreements. Hey! It’s confusing enough to muddle through life here in 3D without knowing there was a plan set in motion, a contract if you will. We made agreements with other souls to show up at certain times, to support each other, love each other, help teach each other lessons.

When you think of it like that, it’s much harder to hate that loser for divorcing you, or that b*tch who got you fired, or that cheating liar who broke your sweet heart into a million pieces. Because think of it: hasn’t adversity made you a stronger person, a better person? Didn’t your soul evolve just a little bit each time your ego got bruised? Michael Beckwith has a great saying that I love so much it makes me laugh. It goes like this: “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.”

Soul connections are your peeps, your soul family, your backup system. Are your soul-mates just those people who break your heart or hurt you? Heck no! Soul-mates can help you grow and love you, too. K and her daughter are soul-mates, and they are beautiful to behold.

You’ve had dazzling soul connections in your life, and I have too. Our souls want us to be happy. They are whispering in our ears all the time, if we bother to listen. If we get really quiet and still the constant background chatter playing in our head, the soul speaks. It doesn’t always speak loudest, but it does have something to say and if you are even just the slightest bit curious about your life’s destiny, you will want to sit down, be still, and listen.

I read a metaphysical theory the other day that bent my brain all over itself. It went like this: If you have a quarter in one hand, then move it to your other hand, is it the same quarter? The answer is: no. It’s complicated, something to do with the quantum field, and how consciousness rearranges itself in each moment to present a unified picture for us. Crazy! That means you’re not the same person you were last year, or last month. I think this is good. This opens you up to embrace all the soul connections you can, and that’s a beautiful thing. Love, C

My two cents: see soul connections in every encounter you have, and make them all holy.

♥♥♥

That C, she  can practically read my mind.  I was thinking of this very same topic this morning when I was waking up, not quite ready to start my day.  However, I was going to title this post Frustration. Haha, love how the universe works.  She calls it ‘soul connection’ and I want to call it  ‘frustration.’

I have bucked up against a couple of my soul-buddies, friends/ family, recently. Of course, I love them to death but for some reason, our dealings have been a bit frustrating to me.  Initially I thought it was all about them, as in: why don’t they get it?   I thought: can’t they see they are doing the same thing they did the last time, and we know how that turned out!  Grrrrr! But then I thought: wait, why is it bothering me so much?  It’s their stuff not mine, why do I care?

Well of course I care, they are people I care about, that is my job as a friend right?  I thought about both of the instances, it only took two this time to throw me off. Sometimes I can get my panties in a bunch with everyone I encounter,  from my lovely daughter to the dude who doesn’t know if he wants to turn into this winery for a taste or the one that is a quarter mile up the road and is creeping up the highway at a snails pace not exactly sure where he is and where he is going.  Pretty sure that guy isn’t in my soul group but who knows, maybe he just popped in to get me to slow down and look around and really see the beauty that I get to live in everyday.

Well, back to those soul connections, otherwise known as lovers, friends, teachers, kids, angels, aliens. . . when you bump up against someone or something and it gets to you good or bad, pay attention.

We talked about this a few months ago in dating my dad , it seems that you keep getting different versions of the same guy or the same situation over and over again until you learn whatever it is you are supposed to learn.  Guess that blows the whole you only get  one soulmate, one true love theory out of the water, huh?

I feel that most of the people in my life I have a soul connection with.  They just feel waaaaay too familiar to not be.  That is the good news and the bad news.  The good news is they know me, and the bad news is, yep you got it, they know me. I’m not getting away with anything, and I am coming around to the idea that I am kinda glad I’m not.  There is something so comforting and safe knowing that the people in your life really know you and get you, and you can’t really be mad at them if they call you on your s**t.  Just sayin’. . . . xo-K

My two cents: just knowing we are all in this together makes it a little less scary and a whole lot more fun!

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texting isn’t dating

Dating in the digital age is not for the faint of heart, is it? There are so many more options today than ever before in the history of this crazy little blue marble rolling around in space.

One of my dear new friends in my new home town met the love of her life before the digital dating phenom got rolling. She and her gal pals were sharing dinner out one night lamenting the single life (as women have been doing since the dawn of time), and one thing led to another. Before the night ended, these smart, sexy, sassy women all made a pact to run a post in one of the local weekly papers known for concert reviews, leftist political views, and explicit and not-so-explicit classified personal ads.

My friend ran her ad and got several responses. She made such an impression on one guy she met for coffee that he canceled the date he had with another lady he’d connected with from the classifieds. Throughout their courtship, my friend’s sweetheart wooed her by writing her one romantic letter a month for 36 months. At then end of the third year of love letters, he proposed. omg! Such a love story.

Fast forward to 2010: now we have online dating services and cell phones and text messages. We are dating in a digital age no one ever dreamed of. People still meet in the produce aisle, at church picnics, on the bus.  They also meet in cyberspace with photos and bios and various fictional versions of their their life stories.  Since venturing into the cyber-classifieds, I’ve taken the necessary precautions to avoid cyber-creeps. But I’ve always said you can meet a creep at an ice-cream social, so caveat emptor is the motto of  dating adults everywhere.

So recently, I found myself exchanging emails and text messages with a person of interest.  Yes, we met online, so the email and texting are not entirely unrelated to the whole e-dating process.  The thing is, we’ve met in-person. Clear and mutual interest was expressed by both parties. We even touched lips,  swapped spit. . . And yet? No forward movement. I figured, he’s just not that into me and was prepared to move on. Then we started up with the texts and flirty emails again. It was fun, but no hints about meeting up. Started to feel weird. Of course, K and I talked about it. The radar started to pingpingping. It’s not natural to meet someone you like and not want to spend time together. Unless. . .unless. Okay, girls. We all know what that “unless” means.  Something’s not on the up and up. The story isn’t holding together. We’ve all been in that place where our intuition started to warn us off and we ignored it, haven’t we? Can we all agree to not do that anymore?

The truth is, texting is not dating. Emails are not a relationship. Romance at a distance is the safety valve for someone who isn’t really ready for love. Not that any one of these things is wrong. Unless you want an authentic relationship, which every goddess is worthy of, btw.  I’m just sayin.’ Love, C

My two cents: be willing to walk away and never  settle for less than you really want!

♥♥♥

As I have mentioned before, I have been on dating hiatus for a while and don’t have experience with digital dating, but I do know a thing or10 about signs and when actions and words don’t jive.  So when C filled me in on what was going on with Mr. e-mailer/texter, something definitely was feeling a little off to me.  I totally understand emailing and such in the beginning of online dating, it’s fun, flirty and relatively safe.  Who hasn’t experienced the giddy feeling of opening up your inbox in the morning to a fun little note from a boy you are interested in.  That can go on for as long or short a period as the two people involved feel comfortable with.  For me and my experience with blind dating, I would rather get right to it.  Physical attraction is a big thing and I think a lot gets lost in translation when your only communication is email and text. So when I meet someone new for a coffee or a glass of wine I usually get a pretty good read if I am going to be interested in moving forward right away.  It is usually a, oh yea, yippee, he looks cool, or, there is no way in hell.

I am not being superficial and I am not talking about just the way someone looks, it’s more than that.  It is their vibe, the feeling you get when you are face to face with someone that as flirty as a text is it’s just never the same.

So back to said dilemma, what if there seems to be mutual interest between you and Mr. blind date/online guy and things go back to just texting and e-mailing?  I can’t say that that has ever happened to me but it doesn’t sound like something I would spend a lot of time with. . . but hey that’s me.  I guess maybe sometimes people want to take things slow but come on!!!

I guess it all goes back to knowing what exactly it is that you want and holding out for it.  I know for me no where on my list of things I want in a man is someone who is afraid of getting hurt so much  they have to move in reverse, nor am I looking for someone who doesn’t trust his own judgment.  But that’s my thing.  xo-K

My two cents:  Be true to yourself, know what you want in a relationship and never settle.

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losing yourself in love

Relationships are all about balance, you know? Give too little, and they wither on the vine. Give too much, and you run the risk of losing your sense of self. Oh, yeah. . .been there, done that, bought the whole truckload of tee shirts!

Why do we give ourselves away so easily after we’ve worked so hard to become the bright, radiant, sassy, sexy, capable goddesses that we are? I don’t think it’s because we’re flawed. I think it’s because we are so amazing, that we care so completely. Our well of compassion is so full and so deep, it feels like we have an endless supply to give to those we love. We have so much love to give that it seems impossible to give too much. Unfortunately, we’re also conditioned to put ourselves at the end of that people-to-love, list so that after we’re done doing for others and doing for others and doing for others, our well runs dry and we snap like on old dry twig. It’s easy to get lost in love. Thank goodness, we have our girlfriends, our sisters,  our daughters, to remind us to ‘put our own oxygen mask on first.’

Here’s the thing about goals: they have a way to completing themselves when you write them down. Like magic! I suggest that you make three goals for self care and that you share them with your best friend, who will monitor your progress and help you celebrate when you achieve them.

1. Take time for yourself each day. Even if it’s only five minutes locked in the bathroom, listening to your favorite music on your iPod. Do it.

2. Do one nice thing for yourself each month. Get a pedi. Take a bubblebath. Go for high tea at the Four Seasons. Do it.

3. Once a year, get away. Plan a girls weekend. Go on a retreat. Take a seminar. Do it.

This isn’t about indulgence. Okay, maybe it is. But the point is this: make you the focus of you once in a while. Give yourself some of that sweet lovin’ you rain on everyone around you. Nurture yourself. Love yourself. You’ll be a better person for it. Love, C

My two cents: remember, you are a goddess! Treat yourself like one.

***

I was just having three hour coffee with my dear friend discussing this very subject.  I have been dealing with resistance and working through that.  I feel as if I have made some headway, and this was a big one for me.  When I am single, I have no problem filling myself up, and taking time for me.  I have my weekly massage, and a pedi once a month, got that down no problem.  Even being a mom, I make time for me.  I think that is being a good role model for my daughter, take care of you, then give to others.  Makes sense, right?  I was just  having a little anxiety around still taking care of me, doing the things I like to do and not putting myself last when I have a man in my life.  I have lost myself before, but you know what?  I know now, that I will consciously care for myself.  Between chatting with my friend for hours around this and now reading C’s post, I know that I can stay me even when I become a we.

Maybe, just to be safe I will print this out and post it on my bathroom mirror as a reminder.  xo-K

My two cents:  Be true to you!

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secret to a lasting marriage

A friend of mine was telling me of a woman, ninety years old, and married for over sixty-five years. When asked what  her secret for staying happily married for so many years was,  she replied, “There was never a time when one of us wasn’t in love”.  Love that! xoK

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sacred love

Once you get to a certain point in your life, the love you desire changes. When you’re young and hormone-driven, a lot of what goes on with love occurs, ahem, below the belt. Even if you think you are “in love”  0r are making a “smart choice,” really, your biology is in charge.  In your head, you may be thinking, omg, his eyes are crystal clear, his shoulders wide and strong, he makes a good living, he has potential! But really, in the primitive part of your brain, the one that is still hardwired into survival of the fittest and survival of the species, your biology is saying, “hm, nice strong caveman. Can provide for family. Bring back to cave and make little cavebabies. Now!”

And then a few years pass, and maybe your caveman gets eaten by a sabertooth tiger, or gets beaned by a falling rock and decides to chase the young cavegirl at his cave office. Maybe you’ve had enough of rearranging stone furniture in your cave,  so you pick up your basket of berries and move on, too. For a long time, you don’t notice cavemen walking down the street, in the line at the grocery, sitting in the row in front of you at weekend ritual chanting session. And then one day, POW! You notice the arc of a smile, the scent of soap and man sweat. He looks at you like he’s hungry, and you think: ooh, maybe, baby.

So you start dating again. Can’t be that hard, you think. I did it before, I can do it again now that I’m wiser and savvier, you think. But this time around, you look for something different. Not necessarily better, but different, than before.  Now, with a few experiences under your snakeskin belt, you’re looking for Sacred Love.

I’ve had puppy love, romantic love, passionate love, and even unrequited love. Love in the shadows, love at the beach; 1,200 thread count love, and hunting lodge love. Instant love, and slow and sassy love. Now, what I’m going for is Sacred Love. You know the kind: something founded in the deep unknown, the mysterious, the mystical. Something with soul, something that’s bigger than the both of us. Not idolized, comes-in-a-pink-box love. This is love that walks up, shakes your hand, and rocks everything you thought was true in the world love.

John Gray talks about how an essential piece of a true and lasting relationship is a presence of spirit, about creating soul-centered love.  Sting sings about  spicy, sexy, sacred love.  “You’re my religion, you’re my church, you’re the holy grail at the end of my search.”  They’re talking about surrendering to a love that is bigger than the both of us. Now there’s some love worth believing in. Love, C

My two cents: you don’t have to believe in love, but love will always believe in you.

♥♥♥

I know now that  sacred love has always been what I have been waiting for.  On a deep soul level I always knew that was the kind of relationship I would have, even before I knew that kind of relationship existed.  A relationship infused with spirit is the only way to go for me.  Now that I know, there is no going back.  No more unconscious, ego-based love affairs for me.  I think when part of you knows that something is going to be such a big part of your life, as my spiritual practice has become, all the pieces have to be laid out and you have to be ready before the person can come in.

I know now that what I wanted even five years ago wasn’t even close to what I want now.  Amazing how things work out.  I am so happy that I have guidance, and that I have faith, and believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now in this moment.  All the men from my past  have shown me what I do and don’t want so I could get really clear  and I am grateful for every last one of them.

I know now how important it is to  have  someone to walk this path with me.  Someone who is connected in spirit that wants to learn and grow and expand with me.  This is an element that even five years ago I would have  totally compromised on.  How sad would that have been.

So  what now? Get ready so you can be ready.  Get yourself in a good place where you feel you know who you are, what you want, what is important to you, where you will compromise and where you won’t. Find romantic role models: Sting and Trudie Styler,  Jerry and Esther Hicks, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks to name a few of mine.

Think about it, if you could have any relationship in the world what would it feel like.  Have fun with this and  know that just like asking a genie in a lamp, the magic of the universe will bring you exactly what you want.   xo-K

My two cents:  Believe in what you want , not in what is right now.

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it’s all about the love, baby!

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re going to do a little something special. Love  it or hate it, you get what you focus on. Don’t be a hater! Let’s all manifest a little extra love in our lives. In addition to our regular posts for the next few weeks, we’re going to offer tasty morsels of love. What’s your love story? Let’s all make a little magic! Love, C & K

“Only love is real. Nothing else exists.”  — Marianne Williamson

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