Tag Archives: gratitude

banned from craigslist

I’m so proud! I’ve been banned from craigslist for promoting Two Girls. Yeah, we’re pretty risky.

For the last six months, I’ve been driving traffic to Two Girls via craigslist. Well, I might have broken a rule or two. You’re not supposed to post the same message in more than one city, but um, I might have done that once or twice. Ironically, that’s not what got me banned. What got me put in the deep freeze is that a person or persons in a very liberal San Francisco suburb which shall go unnamed, “flagged” me each time I posted to that community.

I know, I know, I shouldn’t have kept poking that hornet’s nest with a stick, but come on! So why did this uber-progressive community have a problem with Two Girls? Couldn’t have been the blog itself. If the purity police had bothered to click on the link I provided and actually read a blog entry by Two Girls, they would have seen that we are a spiritually positive, family-friendly place to hang out. But I don’t think they got that far. I think their cultural prejudice kicked in before they read even one sentence that Two Girls had to share. No, I think they based their bias on the name. Really?

Yep, Two Girls Take on Love has many implications. I don’t need to be specific, you know what I mean. K and I learned that early on, when reading stats on our admin page. You can actually see what kind of search words people plug into their browsers to find websites. Some of the phrases that people used that got them directed to TGTOL were downright nasty. Ick! Ick!

We were so creeped out by what people were looking for related to two girls, we actually lobbied WordPress to change the design of their admin pages. Well truthfully, it was K. She fired off a couple of rip-snorting emails that got the attention of the web masters, and they changed the design of the page so that we can “hide” or “show” the search engine reports. Nice!

Back to Two Girls Take On Love. It’s who we are, and we don’t apologize for it. Banned from craigslist?  Bring it. Love, C

My two cents: never apologize for your dazzling light!

♥♥♥

Ahh, craigslist, where anyone can post pretty much anything, except us. I think it’s hysterical.

When C and I first started Two girls it wasn’t even Two girls it was just us, wanting to do something meaningful together, wanting to share all we have learned along the way to where we are, and not really knowing how to do it and what it would be if we did it and who if anyone, would even care.

We basically started writing our phone conversations, or maybe just the idea of our conversations.  Then, once we had something, we didn’t really feel comfortable telling our friends about what we were doing, heck we didn’t even know what we were doing yet.  And I’m sorry, you could have the best friends in the world, which we both do, but how do you  explain that you are writing a blog about love, when you, a) don’t really know what you are doing and  b) some of your friends could argue that you are probably the last person who should be writing about love.

Once we had a few posts under our belts and we were feeling like something was happening here, we wanted to put it out there. C got the idea to toss it out to craigslist.  Awesome, we got responses, we got great  feedback, people seemed to love us and then the powers that be. . .well I guess they didn’t.

One of the most important things C and I have learned throughout this process is don’t push against what’s not working.  If something isn’t working there’s a reason, so go with it and be open to another way.  I think it’s human nature to try to fix something that is perceived to be broken. It was working and now it’s not, we gotta go back in time and see where it went wrong and get it right. You can do that I guess, but I’ve got about a thousand examples of that not working.

So back to craigslist, I think it was great, it served a purpose but now it’s time to move on.  We have found better more effective ways to promote and share our stories.  Could we go up against craigslist, fight for our right to say what we want to say?  We could, but it is just too much wasted energy, energy that could go toward something way more fun and productive.  xo-K

My two cents:   the sooner you come to peace with that one door closing, the faster the next door will open.

http://youtu.be/GKXKyAkk4Fs

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"the way it is"

I haven’t always believed in a benevolent universe; it just isn’t what I was taught about the world. But even as a kid, a scary world view just didn’t ring true to me.  As a child, when a situation didn’t feel good, I would make an escape, usually in one of two ways. Either I would go out and play in the lush forests surrounding my home, hanging out in nature; or I would exercise my active imagination, play with my dolls and go to make-believe land. Either way, I went to my “happy place.”

As a grown up person, it isn’t always convenient to run off to the woods. Sometimes I have to stay in place and “be present” with a situation. But often, looking at “what is” and studying it and hanging out in Whatisville doesn’t make me happy. Why is that? Is it because I’m always desiring the next best thing, or because I’m not allowing happiness in? Ouch!

I have never been satisfied with the statement “that’s just the way it is.” I can’t figure out why anyone would just stop wondering, no question, end of story. I have always loved exploring new ways of doing things, new ways of thinking. Seems to me that “what-is-ness” can leads to shutting the door on future happiness, and why would anyone do that?

Focusing on “what is” is just a habit. A pretty ingrained habit, but a habit nonetheless, which means it can be changed. Relief! But resistance is sneaky. Just last night, I woke up and my mind started churning. Then, I decided to  list everything I am grateful for in my life, starting with A, then B, and so on. I got to about D and got distracted by some little worry, some little “what is.”  After a while I realized what I was doing, and resumed my gratitude list.  By the time I got from A to Z, I was so exhausted from the effort to focus, I fell peacefully back to sleep. Why are we so easily distracted by “the way it is?”

I don’t have it figured out. Yeah, just when I think I’ve got it worked out, I’ll discover a super sneaky belief about what-is, one that is keeping me stuck, one that is overdue for healing, and needs to be let go. Super fun! Love, C

My two cents: it’s okay to visit Whatisville, just don’t move in!

♥♥♥

It has been really challenging for me to not chime in my two cents when someone I care about is arguing for their limitations.  I can see that they want something so badly yet they are putting so much energy into all of the ways they think it won’t work out; wanting their child who recently graduated college to find a great job but affirming there are no jobs out there, wanting to be abundant but affirming no one is getting ahead in this economy. No wonder it takes so long to get what you want,  if you even do.  Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.

I know I can be. Just today with one little phone call, there I was all pissy, arguing for my limitations.  Damn, I still get caught up sometimes and I know better, which makes it even more frustrating.  Seems like the more I do this stuff the harder it is when I am not on track.  Thrown off of the merry-go-round, straight into the bushes as Abraham would say. Not a fun place to be.

We all have beliefs, things we put in the “just the way it is” category, whether we got them from our parents, school, history, the news, it doesn’t matter.  It’s really easy to get going on some perceived injustice and really dig your heels in. Pretty soon everything in your life is going down the tubes, or so it seems.  I was on a rampage on about four different topics this afternoon.  What a crummy way to spend  my day off.

That’s just the way it is

Some things will never change

That’s just the way it is

But don’t you believe them ~Bruce Hornsby

I always loved that song, and don’t you believe them, great line. When someone says something with such conviction but it really doesn’t resonate with you, and you know in your soul it’s not true, don’t believe it, don’t take their word for it, don’t buy into it.

Nothing is set in stone, and no one can say what’s right and true  for you.  I know what’s right for me and even though I got a little off track today, hey it happens. With a little help from my friends and a little tapping with Brad this evening is feeling much better.  xo-K

My two cents:  As much as we want the things outside of us to be the way we want them to be to make us happy, it’s even cooler when we are happy regardless of what’s going on out there.

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the universe always says yes

Have you ever noticed? The universe always says yes. Think traffic always snarls on your morning commute? Yes! Believe that you have no self control? Yes! Convinced that there’s a shortage of money? YES!

K and I have been running an experiment for about a year. Well truthfully, it’s been longer than that, but let’s just say a year, because it’s relevant to the topic at-hand. For the last year, pretty much all of 2009  and part of 2010 — or the period of time I like to call the season of the Great Panic Attack — we’ve been ignoring “the economy.”

What?! Yes, it’s true. We’ve been going merrily about our business affirming that “My income is always increasing,” and “I thrive in any economy.” Crazy? Probably. But let me just tell you something, while many people we know have been lamenting “the economy” with doleful sighs and running around looking for the sky to fall, we’ve been fine. I believe this is because the Universe Always Says Yes.

Am I delusional? Possibly. But I have to say, I’ve been pretty stress-free for the past year. And stress causes your hair to turn gray and your face to pucker up and wrinkle. I mean, who needs it? Are there people out there who are really suffering? Of course, and I have compassion for them. But in the world I live in, all is well. Now, mind you, I don’t watch the TV news or read the so-called newspapers (which is mostly bad news, have you noticed?), so I don’t get exposed to the “ain’t it a shame” game that passes for “news.”

Skeptics will say that positive thinking doesn’t have a real effect. Good for them. All I know is, K is self-employed and her business is as robust as it ever was. I found a job after moving to a new town just after the stock market tanked in 2008 and am doing very well, thank you very much. Does our radical practice of believing in the best outcomes possible protect us from the desperation of the masses? Not entirely. After all, we do live in the “real” world. We just haven’t swallowed the Kool Aid that about 99.999% of folks out there have.

Does it make us better than the rest of humanity? I don’t know about that. But it does make us happier, and call me crazy, but I’ll take happy any day.

Okay, for real: this morning I woke up in a pretty grim mood. But experience has shown me where that line of thinking takes me and for sure, that wasn’t a place I wanted to go. My thoughts|my choice. I changed my attitude from gloom to gratitude for my blessings, and I gotta say, this day has totally rocked. Love, C

My two cents: don’t take my word for it: monitor your thoughts and see for yourself if your beliefs are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for you.

♥♥♥

This is probably my favorite thing to talk about ever.  I could go on and on and on about it.  I have been working on this, living it, being in total amazement for the last few years.  It has always been really interesting to me why people’s realities are so different.  Why do some people seem to have such a hard time, while others seem to just skate through life?   Why are some so sad and depressed and others in similar situations so happy and hopeful?   Was it their outlook on life?  Their thoughts?

Just as C stated before, the universe always says yes. Period.  Think life sucks, yours will.  That might seem a little harsh but it’s not.  It’s empowering, we are not victims, we are co-creators here.  We all get to decide what we believe in, so choose wisely and choose what you like.  I know for me, I don’t watch the news, It’s depressing, and I don’t want to feel bad.  I guess they feel if they scare you and worry you, you will tune back in so you can prepare yourself for whatever they think you need to prepare yourself for.  Uggg.

I have adopted the philosophy: “Not in my world.”  Stuff could be going on out there, bad stuff, scary stuff, but, not in my world.  When everyone started talking about, and panicking about “the economy,” I knew I couldn’t go there. I knew it could go so wrong for me if I didn’t line up with what I wanted.  A lot of people were scared and fired up about it. I knew that as a  self-employed, single mom, I couldn’t afford the luxury of a negative thought. So in one moment I decided to focus on the mantra “I thrive in any economy.”   First thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is how lucky I am and that I thrive in any economy.  If my mind starts to worry about bills, I stop and go to my mantra.   It took some practice but I have to say, my business has never been better, and I have peace of mind that I have never had before, ever.

We really do get to pick the way our life plays out. My dad for example: great guy love him so much, has always had issue with his weight.  He truly believes and will tell you over and over that he gains 5 lbs. every time he goes on vacation.  I don’t know where he got this idea but he really believes it  and guess what?  He gains 5 lbs. every single time he goes away.  I also have a friend: great girl, whose father cheated on her mother then left her.  She believes all men cheat.  She says it all the time. She truly believes it and guess what?  Every single man she has ever dated has cheated and disappointed her.  I have tried to point out to her that she knows lots of married couples where the guy is  totally in love with his wife and doesn’t cheat, but she just can’t see it.  Pity, that one thing that she so doesn’t want is the thing that she has such a strong belief about.  The universe always says yes. . . .  xo-K

My two cents:  I get to choose the life I want to live; me, not my family, not the newscasters, ME….. Yippee!!!


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appreciate you!

Have you ever looked back at an old picture, maybe from high school or maybe from just a few years ago and thought, “I can’t believe I used to think I was fat then, I looked amazing”? I did, just last week. I have a picture of my Grandma, mom, me, and my daughter,  taken about six years ago that I keep on my dresser. I love to look at it every day to remember my grandma who passed away a few years ago. Anyway, I look at myself and I look beautiful. I can remember that time, even that day, and I was not feeling beautiful or thin or anything good about myself at all. What a shame.

So I have something to propose to you: can we stop doing that to ourselves, right now, today? Personally I am tired of feeling bad about myself and beating up on myself for not looking or acting or being perfect or what I think perfect should be. Let’s start looking at all the things to appreciate about ourselves. You have so many things that are great about you. Can we focus on those, start with one or two things a day?

Some friends and I did this with Gratitude for a few weeks before Thanksgiving: everyone posted something they were grateful for every day on Facebook. It felt to nice, shifted the energy completely. So I am going to continue that now with appreciation, of myself and all the wonderful things in my life.

If you have stuff you’re going through now that is not wonderful, put it aside for a bit. There is probably nothing you can really do about it anyway, plus the fact is worrying isn’t going to help, period. So for now, really look for things you like about yourself and let’s focus on those. It’s probably been a long time if ever, that you gave yourself a pat on the back for a job well done or noticed that you really do have beautiful hair, or that you really are a good friend and a great listener.

See what happens when you start out with one or two a day. It will take on a life of its own. And to quote Seal, “I want you to always feel you’re amazing”. xo-K

My two cents: When you put your attention on what you like about yourself, you will start to see more to like and so will others.

***

Ah, yes, appreciation.  Did you know that appreciation is a wonderful tool for manifesting? Yep, it’s true. Try it. Try shutting down the inner critic. Well, that actually takes a bit of practice. Maybe to begin with you can try observing your thoughts and when you find that you’re being critical of anyone else or even yourself (it’s the same thing, really), turn that thought around. Instead of naming what’s wrong, find something that’s right. There, now. Doesn’t that feel better? And when you feel better, when your energy is higher, the outcomes you desire can more easily manifest. Who can’t love that?

To take appreciation a step further, make a list of things to appreciate. Obviously, this works better when you’re in a groovy, flowy, non-judgmental  mood than when you’re all cranky-boots about something. If you’re in a bad mood, it will cheer you up FAST. If you’re in a good mood, it will lift you up higher. I promise — this is some serious magic!

First, get out your journal and  title a page “ME.” Or “Things I Appreciate About ME.” Number the rows 1-10, and start. Begin with something easy, like “eyes.” Maybe you have beautiful eyes. Own that, you dazzling goddess! Then find something else about yourself to appreciate, like how you make the best hot chocolate in the known galaxy. Write it down. Keep going, you’re on a roll now! If you get stuck,  write what your best friend would say about you. Not enough? Try “I appreciate the fact that I’m willing to write a list about things I appreciate about myself.”

Self love is important. Especially if you’re looking for love “out there” because after all, if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to do it?

Oh, and, about the list? Here’s an extra-credit challenge for you. If you breezed through the list of ten without a hitch, amp it up. Try a list of 20 or even 30. You’ll find that once you get past the obvious, it’s a little harder and you may even have to start appreciating those things about yourself that you had not previously been so kind about. You can do it ~ and let us know what wonderful gifts you discover about yourself. Love, C

My two cents: No one can be you like YOU. You’re amazing!


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