The first one, your life story, is the story of “where you came from.” You know, the story of your family, the house you grew up in, sibs, parents, family pets, the saga of your first love, etc. So much of this story is colored by memories, both real and imagined.
What I’m beginning to understand, especially as I spend more time with Brad Yates doing tapping exercises, is that so much of our first story, our primal story, goes deep underground. Often, it gets so buried we don’t even know it’s there, until it pops up in behaviors and beliefs we can’t seem to change, no matter how hard we try.
For instance you might believe, way deep down, that you don’t deserve to have enough money to do what you want. Or that money only comes through hard work. You weren’t born with these beliefs, they were programmed into you by the well-meaning beings who fed and clothed you. They didn’t train you with malice, they were doing the best they could. Nevertheless, these ideas of who you believe you are, are your story. Until you decide they aren’t, which requires honesty and introspection. Are you up for that kind of challenge?
The second kind of story is the daily story. Have you ever noticed that when someone gets all fired up about “something that happened” — a particularly juicy story, they go on and on and on about it? They repeat it to everyone they encounter.
A girl I work with is always up for some kind of drama. Recently I was walking by her desk and she asked me how I was. Naturally, I stopped and answered and then said, “how are you?” This was her opening. “You won’t believe what happened to me,” she said. “This guy on the corner just asked me for my phone number! Can you imagine that?” She acted indignant, but it seemed that she somehow also really liked the outrage of it all. “Dear me,” I replied, moving away. “A girl as attractive as you really needs to be careful.”
Another co-worker passed by and she shifted her attention to them, because I obviously wasn’t going to play. As I was walking away, she launched into her story. “You won’t believe what happened to me!”
Yeah, everyone’s got a story, it’s just how we’re wired. The question is, what is the story you tell to anyone who will listen? Love, C
My two cents: make sure the stories you tell yourself have a happy ending!
I also believe we have two stories, but I think we have the story we are living, what happened in your childhood, or what happened at lunch with your best friend, the story of what is. Then there is the story of how you want your life to be. We spend a lot of time filling people in on the drama going on in our lives. When someone is filling me in on the laundry list of problems going on in their life, I wonder how many times they have told that story, argued for their limitations, given away their power.
Last week I met a friend of mine for coffee. We kinda do the same spirit work so it is always really uplifting when we find time to get together. Anyway, we were discussing an issue about a mutual friend we were both having a problem with. As we discussed the situation, taking turns telling our version of the story, we were both feeling worse.
We bounced around to other topics, but seemed to keep coming back around to our friend. Something needed to be worked out, that’s for sure, but we were so stuck in the problem there was no way to see the solution. Needless to say this was not one of our most uplifting meetings. Grrrr, seems like we always end up getting together when one of us has something to work on –either an issue with a family member, or a work problem, and we always end up coming to a solution, but this time it was seeming a little hopeless. . . and then we had a breakthrough.
We decided we were going to tell a different story, we had spent the better half of the last few hours talking about what was wrong, we decided to talk about the situation as if it was right. It was amazing. We held our friend in the light and imagined the problem being resolved drama free. And you know what? THAT felt really good! I know it seems a little airy-fairy, but hey if nothing else, we were feeling better. We saw things how we wanted them to be, we played the wouldn’t it be nice game. Wow, talk about shifting the energy.
We both were feeling much better which is the reason we have our regular meetings in the first place. We both had errands to run and things to do before kids needed to be picked up so we parted ways feeling great.
A few days later I got an email from my coffee friend, she told me she talked to our mutual friend and swears her energy has shifted and she is in a much better, more positive place. Did changing our minds about her and her situation and sending her light shift her? Who knows, all I know is we all felt better and that’s all that matters. xo-K
My two cents: Never tell a story over and over again that doesn’t make you feel good.