Tag Archives: memories

two a T

C and I have been friends for years.  We are so alike but so different. Different political views, different educational background, different family background, you name it.   As I have noted before we live in different states and are blogging remotely and are on the phone constantly.  Even before we started this blog, we were  working on our “stuff.” We always seemed to be kinda on a similar path, spiritually and in our relationships with men.  And at one point we even thought we were dating the same guy. . . .

So one day, C comes in to the salon and she is just glowing.  I met someone! she exclaimed.  “Wow,” I said, “That’s awesome.  I’m so excited for you!”  I had just started dating someone myself but it was still so new, I let her go first.  His name is “T,” she went into all the stats of her new beau and I felt — actually I don’t know what I felt in that moment it was so long ago –but I do remember that I too, was dating a guy named “T” and it was all sounding very familiar. Like she was talking about my guy.  So many similarities: same line of business, check; age, check; boat, check. There was one big thing that we were going to find out later on down the line.  Neither one of these handsome suitors, and yes we did eventually get them into the same room together at one point, was ever going to commit to either one of us. . . ever.

And I have to say it was not for lack of creative manipulation on both of our parts. We worked it, in every way we could. We spent a lot of time and energy talking about how elusive the little buggers were and how we were going to be so amazing and indispensable that there was no way they would ever want to let either of us go.

Thinking back on that time, we spent so much time dissecting every conversation we each had with our “T’s,” getting each others’ opinion on what the other thought he meant by that comment he made or didn’t make.  If men only knew what women really talked about when they weren’t around!  Oh my, well it’s just a good thing they don’t.  So much drama, my head hurts just thinking about it.

Instead of just living in the moment, letting whatever is supposed to happen happen and actually enjoying someone’s company, we  always have to be planning the future and every move someone makes has to have some hidden meaning, doesn’t it?  Some clue as to what is going to happen next or not happen. . . .

Years later and after hundreds of hours logged on via telephone between C and me, both of the “Ts” were history. C had her end after being left on the side of the road after a disagreement during what was supposed be a romantic getaway in Maui. As for me, I just got tired of running back and forth between two houses with a duffel bag and waiting for someone who was supposed to love me to ask me to stay in one place permanently.

They were the ones who couldn’t commit, we cried,  as we had what would be one of many pity parties.  We were there and we were ready, they were the ones with the problems, right?  We both felt so justifiably hurt and angry.  So. . . why do you think that both of these confirmed bachelors were married to the next girls they dated after we broke it off with them?  Ouch!

Maybe they were not the ones with the commitment issues after all.

To be continued…. xo-K

My two cents:  Relationships are like mirrors, what is being reflected back to you is always YOU.

♥♥♥

Okay, no one ever said this work was easy, but sometimes you have to just allow yourself to laugh about it, right??  I remember that golden day, sitting in K’s salon, having told her all about my new beau. I remember thinking it was such a funny coincidence that our two T’s were so similar.  Yeah, the cosmos has quite a sense of humor!

I met my T on my back porch. Literally. I woke up one morning, and wearing little more than an over-sized denim shirt, stumbled into my living room, and gazed out the sliding window at what looked like a Norse god. Yum. I opened the door and said, “what the hell are you doing on my porch? Tell me quick or I’m calling the cops!” Or something friendly like that. Hey! A girl living alone doesn’t take chances when strange men appear on her doorstep. Oh, wait.

Anyway, it all seemed meant to be. I mean seriously? My doorstep! The first time we kissed was like jumping into the path of a runaway train. No going back, baby. Was he The One? Oh, heck no. Did he show up in my life to teach me lessons? Big time. He was one of my biggest projects to date. And for that, a part of me will always love him for it. I’ll even love the fact that one week after he dropped me off on the side of the road in Maui, he IM’d me to tell me he was getting married. And today? I’m soooo glad I wasn’t the one he married. And I’m about 99.999 percent sure that K is over the moon she didn’t marry her T, either.

Every relationship you have is really about one person: you. So, here’s the deal. You can work on your “stuff” in a relationship, or you can work on it outside a relationship. It’s just easier when there’s two. Marianne Williamson says that relationships are like rock tumblers for the soul. They rub off all the sharp edges.

You would have thought that the T’s put us off love, but au contraire, mon amie! We still believe in the fairy tale ending. Love, C

My two cents: each relationship you have gives you exactly what you need to heal, in the moment. Bless it them all, especially the so-called bad ones.



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let me be your angel

I have a dear client, Celia, a single mom, special ed teacher, who among other things traveled to Africa to build homes for the Bead for Life Foundation. She made her transition last week, and she was an angel.

What does it take to be an angel?  Well, my dear friend was a good role model who led by example,  but it can be easier to make a difference than you think.  It is so easy to make eye contact and give someone a smile, allow someone to merge into traffic in front of you with a wave, just letting someone know, I see you. Some people never feel that they are really seen.  Do that little extra, give a compliment, a bit of encouragement to a friend. Even sending good thoughts to someone, a little blessing.  Tell your kids or your partner how much you love and appreciate them every day. Never miss an opportunity to spread the love.

Even being happy yourself can really rub off on someone and make them feel a little bit better.

A few years ago my sweet grandma made her transition.  I was there with her when she went, and I cried my eyes out.  After she was gone, I realized that I would never be able to talk to her, laugh with her, see her beautiful face, again.  I saw her pretty regularly, as she lived with my parents and my daughter spent time there while I was at work. As much as I saw her though, I did have some regret that I was always in such a hurry and didn’t just slow down, maybe stop and put my freaking purse down for a minute and sit to visit a bit with my Grandma. Why was I always in such a hurry, anyway?

So, I guess what I am trying to say is be kind to the people around you, give a smile to a stranger. It takes so little effort and feels so good.  Tell the people in your life that you love them. Spend time and enjoy your life, because you never know. . . .

I dedicate this little post to Celia, I always looked forward to seeing your smiling face.  xo-K

My two cents:  Open your heart and just love!

♥♥♥

One of my favorite movies is City of Angels. I love so much about it, but especially the idea that there are Angels. Everywhere.  I was introduced to the idea of Angels as a fact of life by a friend who entered my life about 20 years ago, stayed around for a while and then like an Angel, left when her assignment was complete.  Angels bring me comfort, and they bring me joy, and they remind me that I too, can be an emissary of the Divine. A couple of years ago, I had a friend who after a heroic battle with cancer, made her transition. She was an Angel in every way and when I think of her now, I recall the photo of her displayed at her memorial. In it, she is hiking a mountain trail, looking into the camera with a big grin and a splay-fingered wave. So full of joy, so full of love. I can recall another Angel in action: a couple of years ago, when K’s grandma was still here, I spent the night at K’s house, and so too, had her grandma because K’s parents were out of town. In the morning, I watched the sweet interaction between K and and Grandma A as K made her breakfast. The connection between them was a thing of beauty. Angels. They’re everywhere. Love, C

My two cents: each act of love is the act of a generous heart. Try as you might, you can’t give it all away.

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haven't you loved a lot?

You may be in love right now. Maybe not. But when you think about it, over the years, throughout your life, haven’t you loved a lot? And haven’t you been loved in return? It gives me the warm fuzzies to think back on my first crush, a certain sweetheart, or even a recent flirt. All added up, you and me, we, have loved. A lot! Some believe that love never fades. You may not be feeling it this red-hot minute, but once created, love never dies.

Recently, I was sorting through boxes of memorabilia, trying to figure out what to keep, and what had passed the universal expiration date of ‘worth holding onto.’  Several times, I opened an envelope or card from a long-forgotten friend, someone I had not thought of in years, but who nevertheless in that long-ago moment had written a note expressing gladness for our friendship or love, and I was reduced to tears. Love never fades. We may forget it’s there from time to time, but it never forgets us.

Marianne Williamson says, “Love is what we were born with.” And in the end, love is all that matters. All the love you’ve ever known, will ever know, remains in your heart. It never fades and it never forgets what really matters.  Love!  love-C

My Two Cents: go tell someone you love them!

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Twas’ not my lips you kissed but my soul– Judy Garland

Thats’s how I felt, first love, age 15.  First time I fell in love with love and I’ve been hooked ever since.  Every boyfriend, romantic comedy and sappy Nicholas Sparks novel. Everything about love was and is magical to me.  How people meet, come together, the whole process has always fascinated and delighted me.  What attracts you to one person and not another?  How can you have these intense feeling for someone you barely know?  Why are you so drawn to someone like the planets or something else designed the whole thing?  I have loved a lot and I have enjoyed every minute of it.

Even when there is a dry spell between relationships whether by choice or by chance you can tap into the FEELING of love through wonderful memories.  That is what people love most about love, it’s how it makes you FEEL.

I guess it has become one of my life’s missions, a life lesson or maybe just a wonderful hobby, to learn all I can about love.  xo-K

My two cents:  Think back to one of your favorite romantic memories, sit with it and savor it.


 

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