Tag Archives: partnership

best friends forever

When I was in High School my best friend D was my partner in crime.  We got ourselves into all kinds of mayhem, we could plot and scheme our way into or out of anything. Harmless stuff really. Need to borrow a car?  Who cared if we were only fifteen and didn’t have a license? Not us.  Home way past curfew?  We could talk our way out of that.  Hell, we even convinced our counselor that we needed to skip fifth  period psychology every Friday, just ‘cuz.

If we needed to figure anything out, between the two of us we could do it, and do it brilliantly.  We felt like Lucy and Ethel, and of course we always had our Rickys and Freds waiting in the wings, scratching their heads but loving every minute of it.

There is something so wonderful about having a best friend  you can totally depend on,  someone who loves you unconditionally and is always there for you.  The keeper of your secrets and dreams.  I’ve been very lucky to have many best friends throughout my life.  I am an only child, so friends are probably more precious to me since I never had a sibling.  My friends where my family.

I’ve also had my share of boyfriends.   But I’ve never had a boyfriend who was a best friend. I guess I always thought  you had your friends and then you had your dates.  How many hours did the “girls” spend trying to figure out the “boys”?  Way too many. I never considered you could have a partner who was also your best friend.

The  first time I saw an example of this was at an Abraham-Hicks workshop.  It was clear to me that Esther and Jerry Hicks had something very special.  They are partners in crime for sure and they love working together, “being” together, and it’s obvious they really enjoy each other.  I love how they are together.

Last Sunday I was watching “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives,” on the Food Network.   I wasn’t really paying much attention until I saw this couple.  They were driving across the country visiting as many of the “Dives” that Guy Fieri highlighted on the show as they could.  They were so cool, it was clear that they were enjoying what they were doing, and enjoying each other.  They seemed to be having so much fun, so in sync.  Like best friends. Then it hit me,  that’s what I want in a relationship!  xo-K

My two cents:  Once you recognize what you want you start to see more and more examples of it.


Yeah, friends and lovers.  Sometimes they’re the same person, sometimes they’re not. During one of my most epic break-ups, mi amor cried and said he was losing his best friend. I don’t know what was sadder: the break-up, or that I couldn’t tell him I was losing my bf, too. Ouch to the nth.

Do we expect too much from our lovers? Sometimes, I think so. We have these ideas about who and what they should be and when they show us who they really are, we’re disappointed.  But I don’t think that the way to avoid being disappointed is to stop loving. Oh, heck no.  This tattered heart of mine will continue to beat for love until I’m wearing angel wings, and then some. The answer isn’t to shut down. The answer is perhaps, to love differently.

What we expect from love has evolved over time. The notion of marriage for love is pretty  new, historically speaking. Marriages used to be a business arrangement to secure countries, farms, goats, you name it. Marriage wasn’t about love, it was a transaction. If you got love in the bargain, bonus!  Now that I have become a woman of a certain age, I might even venture to suggest that much of what could be called romantic love is biology at work. I thought I loved my first husband, but now I wonder: was it my heart that was running the show, or my ovaries? Not that I didn’t love him, I did. But maybe not for the reasons I believed.

Best friends are simple. Love is tricky. As a girl, my grandmother fell in love with a boy who lived in a nearby town, but her parents had already chosen a husband for her, my grandfather. Many years later, after Grandpa passed, Grandma looked up her old beau. By then he was widowed too, and they married. In their twilight time, they finally got to express the love they had sparked fifty years earlier. Were they bf’s? I don’t know. But I do know that the initial love they felt had survived the passage of time.

I adore my friends. If my lover also happens to be my bf, I consider myself one lucky girl. Love, C

My two cents: Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your lover closest of all.



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learn something new

I have learned so much since C and I started this little blog.  C has been writing for years, novels, book reviews, grant proposals, journal entries, you name it,  she has written it.  Me, I just had stories, years and years of stories. In my profession I have pretty much heard everything, and human behavior is so interesting to me, but I never thought I could write about my experiences, my interactions or my life.  And if I did, who would want to read it?

Writing has been so healing for me, and although I am not the greatest at getting my point across and not rambling on and on in one never-ending sentence, I think I am getting better.  Thanks to C by the way, who will cut my commas off at the pass when I get too rambly. (Yeah, yeah, I know that’s not a word.)

I am learning so much everyday, we both are.  It’s amazing some of the stuff we have come across that we had never even heard of before.  Headers and widgets and codes, oh my.  I am working parts of my brain that have never been worked before, it’s fun and it feels good. Neither of us knew anything about designing a website or writing a blog, we just got an idea and it took on a life of its own.  Even though initially we weren’t exactly sure what we wanted, we knew what we didn’t want, and as we went along we learned what worked and what didn’t.

I think the best part of this whole adventure is learning to do something new, something so completely out of my comfort zone.  I have been a stylist almost my entire working life.  It was just something I could always do, it was fun, it was easy, it was fulfilling, and still is and I love it, don’t get me wrong.  I am also loving learning to do something so totally different.

One day, I was trying to change the artwork on the header, and it’s all in code,  like another language that I have never seen before. After many hours of reading, researching and trial and error, I figured it out.  I got such a kick out of that, I was doing the happy dance all around my living room.  What a feeling.  Another thing that is new to me is working with a partner. I have always worked solo so I’m sure there were so many ways that this could have gone wrong, but it has been the best. C and I are in agreement that neither of us would have been able to do this in the way we have without the other; where one of us gets discouraged or just plain busy with our day jobs, the other takes over.  Perfect.

So take it from us: if we can do it, so can you.  Try something new, learn something new.  It’s good for your soul, it’s good for your brain, and it’s good for your self-esteem.  Is there anything you’ve ever dreamed about doing?  Take an art class, learn to salsa, go back to college, whatever it is just go for it.  You might end up creating something amazing.  Enjoy, xo-K

My two cents:  You have no idea what life has in store for you.


Long ago, I decided that there are two kinds of people in the world. Type One picks a decade they like and sticks with it, not matter what. Same hair, same clothes, same world-views. Then, there is Type Two Girls: always ready to try something new, going for that shot of WOW when they experience something fresh. Cool!

Yeah, the world is changing fast. The speed of information coming at us can be overwhelming. I totally get that. I heard recently that because we have access to more information that ever before in the history of the world –if you’re not learning something new, you’re not just standing still, you’re moving backwards.

About ten years ago I met a charming couple from Holland. The were lovely and worldly and had grown children and grandchildren. The newfangled  Internet was becoming all the rage and even though no one had quite figured out what it was good for, everyone was still quite excited about it. Email was eclipsing the cell phone as a way to connect. I remember smiling at my quaint neighbors when they declared that had no interest in learning “that computer stuff.”

Flash forward a decade and its safe to say the world is not the same place. String theory expert and physicist Michio Kaku says that all these social, cultural, and scientific changes are actually part of the evolution of the human race into something. . .greater. Cool!

I just met someone at a business meeting, who identified herself as a communication director. “Great!” I replied. “What is your social media policy?” She gave me a slight frown and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t do that,” she replied. “Maybe I’ll hire someone to do it.”

I understood what she meant. A year ago I reluctantly joined the facebook revolution and maybe posted once a week. I just didn’t see the point. Now, K and I post daily. I tell anyone who will listen that it’s a newer, better way to stay in touch. It’s just a learning curve, that’s all. Nothing scary under the bed or hiding in the Internet closet, my dears.

Admittedly, K is better at the technical stuff than I am. I tend to get all itchy and tossed out of the Vortex and into the bushes when it comes to code and programming. But that’s the beauty of this partnership. We both have skills, that when blended, are better than we would be alone.  We came to realize early on that our  main subject is relationships — every kind under the sun — even two girls writing a blog. Love, C

My two cents: Flexing your brain muscle is a great way to stay vibrant, sexy, and young!

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