Tag Archives: romance

what were you THINKING?

You spend a lot of time traveling around in your head.  Uh-huh, that’s right. You know what I mean. Forget about going to Paris or Tahiti. You’re traveling around in your head so much, you’re anywhere but here. You probably log in more travel miles in five minutes that you spent on your actual vacation last year! You’re not alone. We all do it. It’s neither good nor bad, it’s just not an effective way to live. In case it matters.

Now. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, we’re always thinking about something that happened six years ago or something someone said yesterday or what we wish we said when that happened or what we’re afraid might happen tomorrow. Sound familiar? We’re almost never fully present where we are, right now. It gets even more complicated, when you start listing the ideas that really matter to you. Take love, for instance. Where are you with that? The last guy, the one before him? Your first crush? Chances are, on this one topic, you’re anywhere but here. Now.

Please. I am so not perfect. I just bring it up because it’s what I’m working on.

Our teacher, Abraham-Hicks says that focusing your thoughts for 68 seconds is enough to begin attracting the object of your attention into your world. Cool! Scary!

As much as I try to work on being present in the moment, I catch myself doing one thing and thinking something else. What’s wrong with that, you say. Isn’t multi-tasking a good thing, you say? It depends. If thoughts are like dollars, and you get what you “invest” your thoughts in but toss out pennies for every passing idea that floats by that space behind your eyes, you’re not really placing any value, or focused thought, on any one thing. Nothing wrong with that. Unless there’s something you’d like to change about your life, or bring in, or have. This takes practice. But like any new skill, you can achieve single-minded focus with practice. If it’s true that you create your future by your thoughts now, you gotta pay attention to your thoughts minute by minute.

I know, I know, easier said than done. I have a favorite new online guru. Stephen Russell goes by the name Barefoot Doctor and has lots of Zen wisdom to share. He’s also a music producer, so he offers these amazing online meditation pods that are crazy-transcendent. Anyway, as much as I sit down and plug in with the intention of listening placidly to one of the good Doctor’s guided meditations, I inevitably catch myself wandering around in my head. Darn! There I am, working on getting all Zen and yummy and grounded, and there I am, re-running a conversation from last week. Gah! Makes me wonder how much time any of us spend right here, right NOW. I’m working on it, baby! Love, C

My two cents: You want a future relationship? Pay attention to what you’re thinking NOW.

***

So, what the heck are you thinking?  In The Secret, Michael Beckwith says,”Thoughts Are Things.”  Abraham-hicks says, “You get what you think about whether you want it or not, AND what manifests is always a perfect  indication of what you’ve had going vibrationally.” Wait, what??

For the last few years I have been really staying conscious of my thoughts, where they are going and what ends up manifesting, and I can tell you this advice is spot on.  Plus, the more you are aware of it, the faster it seems to happen.  Sometimes when I am working with a client, doing their hair, I almost feel like a psychic.  I can listen to how they are talking and know, what they will be telling me when they come back in 4 or 6 weeks just by what they are putting out there right now.  They will go on and on about what they don’t want, and guess what?  Next time I see them that is exactly what has happened.

So for me, I practice thinking the thought that I want.  When my mind goes off to a problem, and it does from time to time,  it is so obvious to me that if I want to go there, I will get results I don’t want.

This is so funny: as I’m writing this, my Blackberry is buzzing.  I just got an e-mail from The Secret Daily Teachings, I get those every month or so, and what it says is “Whatever feelings you have within you are attracting your tomorrow.  Worry attracts more worry.   Anxiety attracts more anxiety.  Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness.  Dissatisfaction attracts more dissatisfaction. AND… Joy attracts more joy. Happiness attracts more happiness.  Peace attracts more peace.  Gratitude attracts more gratitude. Love attracts more love”.  It goes on and on.  The point being: focus on what you want and it will come in, whether you like it or not.  So seek out things/thoughts, that bring you joy.  Focus on what you love and let the worry and problems take care of themselves.

Things always work out in the end, they really do.  You just get to choose whether you worry and stress out and they work out, or you relax, have fun, be in joy, and they work out.  Your choice.  Remember, life is supposed to be fun!  xo-K

My two cents:   Regarding relationships or anything else you want in life, If you have the wherewithal to want it, the Universe has the wherewithal to bring it to you.

 

2 Comments

Filed under Inspiration, love, relationships, spiritual, spirituality

mighty aphrodite

It seems only right that in the month that celebrates romantic love give a nod to our girl Aphrodite, who also went by Venus, otherwise known as the goddess of beauty and love. Aphrodite was a regular Grecian goddess, hanging out between heaven and earth, trying to avoid the wrath of her bad dad Zeus, and curling the toes of the local boys every chance she got. Gossip has it that the goddess got around and her favorite object of desire was Aries, god of war, also known as Mars. Get it? Venus and Mars, love and war? No doubt about it, when those two collided, sparks flew.  btw: this is the month of chocolate hearts, right? Guess what: chocolate is rumored to be an aphrodisiac. . .so take no chances, channel your inner goddess and share some chocolate with someone you love. toujours l’amour!

Leave a comment

Filed under love

it’s all about the love, baby!

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re going to do a little something special. Love  it or hate it, you get what you focus on. Don’t be a hater! Let’s all manifest a little extra love in our lives. In addition to our regular posts for the next few weeks, we’re going to offer tasty morsels of love. What’s your love story? Let’s all make a little magic! Love, C & K

“Only love is real. Nothing else exists.”  — Marianne Williamson

Leave a comment

Filed under affirmations, Inspiration, love, self-care, soulmate, spirituality

how do you know when it’s time to go

Have you ever had a big break-up and upon reflection knew “the signs were there all along”? That’s the truth. The signs were always there, and I just didn’t want to see them — or more accurately, feel them.

How about instead of numbing ourselves to our feelings, we learn to get in touch with them? How about we train ourselves to know when it’s time to go by recognizing when we’ve  “hit the ick”?  I know I hit the ick when I get that “off” feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one I’d rather ignore but I’m so smart and so in control. Seriously?

How do you know what your personal warning sign feels like? Try this: think of a time when you were really happy. Now, locate where you feel that in your body. Got it? Now think of a time when you felt really bad, maybe even deceived. Where do you feel it in your body? That’s the ick. That’s your personal early warning system.

So, let’s say you’re sitting across a candlelit table from fabulous Mr. Current Candidate, having a jolly time telling stories and eating great food, then he says “that thing” and a small alarm goes off in your head and your stomach drops like you just flew into a patch of turbulence, and you know it: you hit the ick. At first, you’ll want to dismiss it. At first, you’ll want to say, but he’s so cute. And he drives the right car, and OMG, I haven’t had a date in centuries.

The signs that pop up initially are small. Easy to ignore or justify away. “He didn’t really mean that.” Or “I’m just too sensitive.” But that isn’t it. Your inner navigation system just hit a patch of ick, and it’s a free-will zone, so you’re free to ignore it. Free to rush blithely ahead toward the romance zone because after all, that’s the destination isn’t it? Or is the destination Peace, Harmony, Well-being?

I’ve never been sorry when I followed my intuition. I have been a whole lotta bummed when I ignored the early warning signs. It’s okay.  You’re free to ignore the signs of your soul trying to get your attention. You’re free to try to make a six into a ten. Don’t worry, the signs will get bigger until you can’t ignore them anymore. Personally, I’m done getting smacked with the cosmic two-by-four! I’m not perfect, but I’m getting better at  recognizing when my soul is trying to get my attention. And my soul wants me to have my perfect partner.

Life is supposed to be fun! Learning new things is a game! Making getting to know when you hit the ick a priority, and pretty soon you’ll be a master. Then, you’ll no longer ask how do you know when it’s time to go. You’ll have it down.  Love-C

My two cents: The universe is always conspiring to give you what you want.

***

Well isn’t that the $64,000 question?  They say you know when you know, but I say you know a lot sooner.

Ask your friends, they know.  If you don’t recall when your relationship went from “OMG this could be The One” to the “ick”, ask your friends.   You know which friends I’m talking about, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who want you to be happy, the ones who truly want you to have what you want.  Not people you know, but your friends.  The ones who have been on the other end of the phone, for hours on end at all times of day or night listening to you go at it ever since you entered the “ick”.  If you get to the point where you can draw a line down a piece of paper to list the pros and cons of your relationship, you’re in the “ick”. You don’t have to do this with The One, you just know. Change any of your beliefs? “ick”. Justifying? “ick”. Sacrificing? “ick”, settling… oh hell no!

I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. Some are here for the big lessons, you know the who they are, they come in and BAM,  in that moment, or week, month or 10 years they are The One.  Some are what I call “fillers”.  Fun, cute, sexy, just something to do, but you know they are just there to roll around with till The One comes along.  But if it is a “lesson” guy they do feel like The One and they ARE until you get the lesson and then guess what, now they aren’t, time to move on.

I know, I know, you don’t want to, you want it to stay, just like it was forever. Sorry sweetie, it can’t.  Once you have gotten from this guy what he came to teach you, it is time to take what you learned and move on and if you don’t,  it seems to all go to hell in a handbasket.

That is when the scramble starts.  And you know exactly what I mean by the scramble, don’t you? You reflect back to when it started to feel weird, he seemed different or maybe it was you.  You start to doubt yourself (did I say something or do something to upset him?).  Many nights of sleep are lost, wracking your brain about what possibly could  have happened.  When you exhaust yourself  or make yourself absolutely crazy you call on the troops, you enlist your girls to help you to try to figure out what you did and how you can get it back to the way it was before.  Guess what: you can’t. You hit the “ick”, party’s over. Lesson learned.  Sorry girl.  Time to move on.  xo-K

My two cents:  Exit before it gets ugly, keep him as a friend, or not and remember you only need one, “ONE”.

3 Comments

Filed under dating advice, relationships