Tag Archives: sacred love

i will remember you

I once knew a photographer, an amazing and talented  man.  D had a wildly eclectic collection of friends, and I am glad to have been counted as one.  I had just run away (sort of) to California, and he was living next door to a pal from the hot air balloon crowd I ran with. He was living with his children in a sprawling ranch-style home in the wine country and hosting impromptu summertime pool parties when I met him. His wife had high tailed it back to San Francisco, but D was happiest in the country. He was a rogue, a ladies man, and though I always enjoyed his company, I never enjoyed it like that. Not that he didn’t try: I was always swatting his hand away from my girl parts. I never took it personally, and neither did he.

After a while, D’s kids grew up, and he remarried. We remained friends. While I was never close to his second wife, we were friendly, connected by our affection to charming,  lovable, dapper, D. My friend was old school. He grew up in Austria, and his family fled the Nazis. Soldiers actually visited his family home one night, took his father out and roughed him up. Soon after, the family fled Austria Von Trapp family style: over the Alps. They eventually landed in San Francisco, and then migrated up to wine country. D never lost his old world charm. He was a speaker of languages, a lover of life.

About ten years ago, his memory started to go. First it was little things like appointments, grocery lists, the exact location of car keys. Then it got gradually worse. Finally, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. There was a period of time when he would call me every week. “C,” he said. “We miss you! Please come visit!” I agreed. “Of course I’ll come,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.” And I did come. We had lunch and a visit. Somewhere along the line, he stopped making grabs for my girl parts, and it was kind of sad. I knew he was slipping away.  The calls continued. Weekly. “C! It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. We miss you! Please come visit!” Yes, yes, I said. I didn’t feel too bad about not visiting as often because I realized he didn’t remember when I did.

Finally, the last time I visited with them, I happened to be in the town where they live and dropped by. This had always been our custom: drop by when you can. Visit. Have a glass of wine, share stories. This time, Wife Deux was very glad to see me. “D, look! It’s C!” she said. “Say hello!” she said. Charming and sweet as ever, D politely kissed my cheek and said hello. He hadn’t a clue who I was.

Abraham says that people like D are living in two worlds. Part of them have re-emerged with Source and are well and happy and content, while part of them remain here fulfilling a promise, not quite yet ready to go. Even though D can’t remember me, I remember him with enough love and gratitude for both of us. Love, C

My two cents: The love you share exists. Always.

♥♥♥

Ahhh, I remember D, he was a scoundrel, a flirt, a real ladies man.  I don’t think that guy could look at you without making you feel like a million bucks.  He sure did know how to appreciate a lady.  I cut his hair for years, and when his memory started to go, and he started just showing up at random times, I took care of him anyway.  I haven’t seen him in years, but I think of him often.  He was old school, he look like an old movie star but a little more rugged, with a heart of gold.

He lived about forty minutes away from the salon so in the last year or so that I saw him I was always a little surprised to see him.  He always tried to make it down for a haircut.  I’m sure he could have gotten his hair cut five minutes from his house, but no; he would always try to make it in to see me.  Sometimes he would schedule an appointment and not show up. That always worried me.  I didn’t really like him driving that far, it made me nervous that he might lose his way or get into trouble, but then I figured he had his angels with him and if he lost his way they would take over and get him where he needed to be.

Who knows why some people end up without memories of the past?  Maybe when you are half in this world and half in another it’s not important to reflect back.  Maybe he was ready to go before others were ready to let him go, it’s hard to live without someone who has been such a huge presence in your life.  I guess that’s why we have memories while we’re still  here, so it’s a little easier to let someone go when it’s their time and we can always have them in our hearts.  Love to you D.  xo-K

My two cents:  True love never dies.

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soul connections

You know what I’m talking about when I say you’ve had soul connections in your life, right? I’m not just talking about romantic love here. You know deep in your core when you meet someone: a friend, a co-worker, someone at church or the PTA, and you feel that zing somewhere in the region of your heart. You just know. It’s like, hello again.

We all come here to earth school with certain soul agreements. Hey! It’s confusing enough to muddle through life here in 3D without knowing there was a plan set in motion, a contract if you will. We made agreements with other souls to show up at certain times, to support each other, love each other, help teach each other lessons.

When you think of it like that, it’s much harder to hate that loser for divorcing you, or that b*tch who got you fired, or that cheating liar who broke your sweet heart into a million pieces. Because think of it: hasn’t adversity made you a stronger person, a better person? Didn’t your soul evolve just a little bit each time your ego got bruised? Michael Beckwith has a great saying that I love so much it makes me laugh. It goes like this: “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.”

Soul connections are your peeps, your soul family, your backup system. Are your soul-mates just those people who break your heart or hurt you? Heck no! Soul-mates can help you grow and love you, too. K and her daughter are soul-mates, and they are beautiful to behold.

You’ve had dazzling soul connections in your life, and I have too. Our souls want us to be happy. They are whispering in our ears all the time, if we bother to listen. If we get really quiet and still the constant background chatter playing in our head, the soul speaks. It doesn’t always speak loudest, but it does have something to say and if you are even just the slightest bit curious about your life’s destiny, you will want to sit down, be still, and listen.

I read a metaphysical theory the other day that bent my brain all over itself. It went like this: If you have a quarter in one hand, then move it to your other hand, is it the same quarter? The answer is: no. It’s complicated, something to do with the quantum field, and how consciousness rearranges itself in each moment to present a unified picture for us. Crazy! That means you’re not the same person you were last year, or last month. I think this is good. This opens you up to embrace all the soul connections you can, and that’s a beautiful thing. Love, C

My two cents: see soul connections in every encounter you have, and make them all holy.

♥♥♥

That C, she  can practically read my mind.  I was thinking of this very same topic this morning when I was waking up, not quite ready to start my day.  However, I was going to title this post Frustration. Haha, love how the universe works.  She calls it ‘soul connection’ and I want to call it  ‘frustration.’

I have bucked up against a couple of my soul-buddies, friends/ family, recently. Of course, I love them to death but for some reason, our dealings have been a bit frustrating to me.  Initially I thought it was all about them, as in: why don’t they get it?   I thought: can’t they see they are doing the same thing they did the last time, and we know how that turned out!  Grrrrr! But then I thought: wait, why is it bothering me so much?  It’s their stuff not mine, why do I care?

Well of course I care, they are people I care about, that is my job as a friend right?  I thought about both of the instances, it only took two this time to throw me off. Sometimes I can get my panties in a bunch with everyone I encounter,  from my lovely daughter to the dude who doesn’t know if he wants to turn into this winery for a taste or the one that is a quarter mile up the road and is creeping up the highway at a snails pace not exactly sure where he is and where he is going.  Pretty sure that guy isn’t in my soul group but who knows, maybe he just popped in to get me to slow down and look around and really see the beauty that I get to live in everyday.

Well, back to those soul connections, otherwise known as lovers, friends, teachers, kids, angels, aliens. . . when you bump up against someone or something and it gets to you good or bad, pay attention.

We talked about this a few months ago in dating my dad , it seems that you keep getting different versions of the same guy or the same situation over and over again until you learn whatever it is you are supposed to learn.  Guess that blows the whole you only get  one soulmate, one true love theory out of the water, huh?

I feel that most of the people in my life I have a soul connection with.  They just feel waaaaay too familiar to not be.  That is the good news and the bad news.  The good news is they know me, and the bad news is, yep you got it, they know me. I’m not getting away with anything, and I am coming around to the idea that I am kinda glad I’m not.  There is something so comforting and safe knowing that the people in your life really know you and get you, and you can’t really be mad at them if they call you on your s**t.  Just sayin’. . . . xo-K

My two cents: just knowing we are all in this together makes it a little less scary and a whole lot more fun!

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if I wasn’t afraid

Woof. I just had a breakthrough that threw me for a spectacular loop.  I got an insight Saturday that I had been trying to ignore. You know the kind I’m talking about: intuition speaks up loud and clear and you jam your fingers in your ears going lalalacan’thearyou! Anyway, I spent the better part of Sunday, my favorite day of the week, moping around in a funk, letting the revelation sink in.

Maybe you’re not like me. Maybe when you learn a life lesson, you don’t beat yourself up for not knowing that thing your soul set you up to learn in the first place.  So there I was, working on myself yet again, when I picked up my journal and read through the notes on my life thus far.

I flipped through the pages and realized that the first quarter of 2010 has been amazing. Together, K and I launched a blog, which has grown into a healthy and thriving chronicle of life, love, relationships. (So cute! And popular, too!) So far, 2010 has been a rootin’ tootin’ ride.  We are living at what Abraham calls The Awakening. If you’re doing your work, things are starting to pick up speed, moving really fast.  Things are moving pretty fast if you’re not doing your work, it just isn’t as much fun. Just sayin’.

Anyway, so there is an inventory in my journal, dated Dec. 31, 2009. The inventory contains a list of all the things I accomplished last year. Impressive, if I do say so myself! What the inventory also contains, is an exercise I picked up from a rebroadcast on Hay House Radio, from Sonia Choquette. The exercise is called “If I wasn’t afraid, I’d. . . .”  The idea is to take a sheet of paper or a page from a journal, and write “If I wasn’t afraid, I’d. . .” and then as quickly as possible, without thinking about it, make a list of all the things you’d do if you didn’t let fear stop you. It’s a very illuminating exercise, and I highly recommend it.

What are the things you’d do if you didn’t let fear stop you? Allow love in? Take a vacation? Stand up for yourself? Love yourself more? Lose weight, take a class, make a friend, tell your mother to stop bossing you around like you were still 10?  The funny thing is, when you look at the list of all of the things you’re afraid of, you realize that there really is no monster under the bed. You’ve just pretended that by not living your life fully, you’ve somehow earned a prize for being the most well-behaved person in your PTA/office/marriage. But guess what? There is no prize for letting fear win, and it isn’t too late to decide to live life like you really mean it! Love, C

My two cents: fear is nothing more than our fragile egos wanting to be safe. . . but there really is nothing to be afraid of!

♥♥♥

If I wasn’t afraid, if I only had a brain, if I didn’t give a s**t about what people thought about me.  It’s all kinda the same thing.  If I didn’t worry so much about anything outside of myself and what others thought.  What if I just trusted, really trusted my first thought, my intuition and acted on that.  What if I didn’t really think about it at all?  What if I just went with the flow of the river and let it take me for an amazing ride without trying to control or manipulate the outcome?  Just askin’.

I have been doing alot of work on myself, hard work but so rewarding and it is starting to be fun and entertaining.  I am reflecting back on past relationships and experiences in my life, and I know they always say hindsight is 20/20, but I am really starting to see the gifts in my life and experiences pretty much immediately, I don’t have to wait 2 or 20 years to see, “Oh now I get why that had to play out the way it did.”

As C said earlier, Abraham said it is now a time of awakening, they also say that all those who are looking will  find.  That just makes me feel that all of this work has been worth it and I feel at peace and I know there is nothing to be afraid of.  We re in amazing times here guys, things are moving faster, our intuition is at an all time high, hell just look at your kids,  hand them an iPhone or a new computer game,  they just instinctively know how to do this stuff.   Amazing times, so exciting.

So, back to fear,  it does have it’s place, if danger is lurking in a dark parking lot and you get that ick feeling, listen to that.  If you are alone with someone and get an uneasy feeling, again, pay attention.  But outside of those kinds of creepy dangerous situations my motto has been for the last couple of years, don’t base your decisions on fear, period.  Don’t not do something you really want to do because of what you think might happen.  Don’t stress about that job interview because they might not hire you.  Don’t beat yourself up before a date because he might not think you are smart or pretty enough.  If a situation presents itself and you aren’t sure if you should go for it or not, ask yourself, am I not doing this because I am afraid?  If that is your answer, maybe you need to take another look at it.  xo-K

My two cents:  As one of my favorite teachers, Marianne Williamson says, “You never make your decisions based on fear, you make you decisions based on love.”

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if I wasn't afraid

Woof. I just had a breakthrough that threw me for a spectacular loop.  I got an insight Saturday that I had been trying to ignore. You know the kind I’m talking about: intuition speaks up loud and clear and you jam your fingers in your ears going lalalacan’thearyou! Anyway, I spent the better part of Sunday, my favorite day of the week, moping around in a funk, letting the revelation sink in.

Maybe you’re not like me. Maybe when you learn a life lesson, you don’t beat yourself up for not knowing that thing your soul set you up to learn in the first place.  So there I was, working on myself yet again, when I picked up my journal and read through the notes on my life thus far.

I flipped through the pages and realized that the first quarter of 2010 has been amazing. Together, K and I launched a blog, which has grown into a healthy and thriving chronicle of life, love, relationships. (So cute! And popular, too!) So far, 2010 has been a rootin’ tootin’ ride.  We are living at what Abraham calls The Awakening. If you’re doing your work, things are starting to pick up speed, moving really fast.  Things are moving pretty fast if you’re not doing your work, it just isn’t as much fun. Just sayin’.

Anyway, so there is an inventory in my journal, dated Dec. 31, 2009. The inventory contains a list of all the things I accomplished last year. Impressive, if I do say so myself! What the inventory also contains, is an exercise I picked up from a rebroadcast on Hay House Radio, from Sonia Choquette. The exercise is called “If I wasn’t afraid, I’d. . . .”  The idea is to take a sheet of paper or a page from a journal, and write “If I wasn’t afraid, I’d. . .” and then as quickly as possible, without thinking about it, make a list of all the things you’d do if you didn’t let fear stop you. It’s a very illuminating exercise, and I highly recommend it.

What are the things you’d do if you didn’t let fear stop you? Allow love in? Take a vacation? Stand up for yourself? Love yourself more? Lose weight, take a class, make a friend, tell your mother to stop bossing you around like you were still 10?  The funny thing is, when you look at the list of all of the things you’re afraid of, you realize that there really is no monster under the bed. You’ve just pretended that by not living your life fully, you’ve somehow earned a prize for being the most well-behaved person in your PTA/office/marriage. But guess what? There is no prize for letting fear win, and it isn’t too late to decide to live life like you really mean it! Love, C

My two cents: fear is nothing more than our fragile egos wanting to be safe. . . but there really is nothing to be afraid of!

♥♥♥

If I wasn’t afraid, if I only had a brain, if I didn’t give a s**t about what people thought about me.  It’s all kinda the same thing.  If I didn’t worry so much about anything outside of myself and what others thought.  What if I just trusted, really trusted my first thought, my intuition and acted on that.  What if I didn’t really think about it at all?  What if I just went with the flow of the river and let it take me for an amazing ride without trying to control or manipulate the outcome?  Just askin’.

I have been doing alot of work on myself, hard work but so rewarding and it is starting to be fun and entertaining.  I am reflecting back on past relationships and experiences in my life, and I know they always say hindsight is 20/20, but I am really starting to see the gifts in my life and experiences pretty much immediately, I don’t have to wait 2 or 20 years to see, “Oh now I get why that had to play out the way it did.”

As C said earlier, Abraham said it is now a time of awakening, they also say that all those who are looking will  find.  That just makes me feel that all of this work has been worth it and I feel at peace and I know there is nothing to be afraid of.  We re in amazing times here guys, things are moving faster, our intuition is at an all time high, hell just look at your kids,  hand them an iPhone or a new computer game,  they just instinctively know how to do this stuff.   Amazing times, so exciting.

So, back to fear,  it does have it’s place, if danger is lurking in a dark parking lot and you get that ick feeling, listen to that.  If you are alone with someone and get an uneasy feeling, again, pay attention.  But outside of those kinds of creepy dangerous situations my motto has been for the last couple of years, don’t base your decisions on fear, period.  Don’t not do something you really want to do because of what you think might happen.  Don’t stress about that job interview because they might not hire you.  Don’t beat yourself up before a date because he might not think you are smart or pretty enough.  If a situation presents itself and you aren’t sure if you should go for it or not, ask yourself, am I not doing this because I am afraid?  If that is your answer, maybe you need to take another look at it.  xo-K

My two cents:  As one of my favorite teachers, Marianne Williamson says, “You never make your decisions based on fear, you make you decisions based on love.”

 

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and nothing but the truth~

As little girls, we’re trained to be pleasers.  Be a good girl, a pretty girl, a well-behaved girl, and we get the reward, right?

For a long time, maybe forever, I’ve kept my mouth shut. I thought I was being the supreme diplomat, letting others have their say and only offering an opinion if asked, point-blank. Really? While on the outside I was all shiny, competent, confident, my dark little goblin primitive brain was saying, “be careful, be quiet. Mind your manners or you’ll blow it!” Blow what? The job, the date, the contest, what ev. Cultivate a little mystery, the advice goes, say nothing. Leave them wondering, “they” say, don’t give it all away. This is pretty good advice if you’re negotiating for a major deal, but what about when it comes to relationships?

After my personal version of Carrie Bradshaw’s Mr. Big relationship ended, I realized that my Mr. Man actually knew nothing about me, beyond the fact that coffee first thing in the morning is not negotiable, that I may or may not be an actual witch, and that I adore fluffly, yippy, pint-sized dogs. My course of study in college? My favorite magazine? The name of my former spouse? He couldn’t tell you if you held a pistol to his head. No sirree, he could not, and it isn’t entirely his fault. I was the doting, supporting, appropriately attractive girlfriend to the man-in-charge. We threw great parties (for his friends). We took fabulous vacations (to destinations of his choice). I don’t mean to imply that we didn’t have a great romance. We did. We just mainly did it on his terms. Robert Ohotto would say that my prostitute archetype was in charge of that phase of my love life. What? Not the damsel? Not the princess? Well maybe the girls in the chorus all played a part, but the leading role was the one who traded her soul for the role.

I have a new policy now: full disclosure. I’m working on my stuff and writing a blog for goodness sake! It’s all pretty much out there. When I get a ‘hit’ on my online dating page, the first thing I do is direct them to twogirlstakeonlove.com. I mean seriously? You want to know what I think and opinions I may or may not hold? It’s all pretty much here. Or will be soon. We’ve only just started, but it doesn’t look like we’re going to run out of material any time in the near future.

Have I totally got it down? Some areas yes, some not so much. All in all, I’m a work in progress, and that’s okay! Love, C

My two cents: the truth will set you free.

***

Perfect girl, don’t we all play that role?  I know I do or rather did. For some reason I always felt I had to be perfect, have it all together, have all the answers.  Totally competent, that’s me.  I don’t think it came from my parents, I think they always thought I was from Mars or something.  No, this one came from me.

On some level I always felt I knew more than most people.  I’m not talking book smart, I’m not even talking street smart, which I was.  I’m talking intuition.  So, yeah, I did feel I had to be perfect because I knew better.

I always had that little voice inside telling me, better go there, or do  this and when I didn’t listen I really did a number on myself.  Don’t know why I couldn’t just give myself a break and just bumble along learning my lessons along the way like other people did, but no, not me, gotta be perfect  — as if that is even possible.

So there I was feeling like I had things all figured out, yeah try that when you are dating;  so doesn’t work.  Never truly being myself, being what I thought this one or that one wanted me to be.  That was exhausting, and come to find out not at all cute or sexy.  I don’t need you for your money, I make my own money.  I don’t need your help moving, or problem solving or with the freaking crossword puzzle.  I can do it all by myself. Then guess what, you are by yourself while the man you are interested in is dating the girl who doesn’t have the great job, who is a train wreck or super high maintenance and needs lots of help.  Yeah, he went to her because, hey, you didn’t seem to need him.

Well, the truth was I did need him, a lot.  I just wasn’t being honest with myself, or showing him me. I put on the bright and shiny, totally self-sufficient me. I needed and wanted love and I was so not perfect.

Oh gosh, can’t believe I spent so much time doing that number on myself. So from now on with me, just like C, full disclosure.  I do me better than I can do anyone else so that is what it is gonna be from now on.  With all my little quirks, and likes and dislikes, just me.

And, isn’t that what you want to show the world so you attract people into your life who like  what you like instead of trying to be what you think they want and then once you get in there trying to change them?  Just askin’. . . xo-K

My two cents:  Be your quirky, silly, wonderful self!

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crash into me

One of my all-time favorite romantic comedies is Bull Durham. In it, Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), is about to seduce young-hunky-dumb Ebbie Calvin LaLoosh (Tim Robbins), the new up and coming star of the minor leagues. In the wings, veteran ball player Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) has been kicked from the Majors back down to the Minors and quietly waits to finish his career and maybe to dazzle Annie.

Crash finally gets Annie’s attention after she has told the two men that they are competing with each other for her affection. It is then Costner delivers one of the greatest romantic comedy lines of all time: “Well,” he tells her before walking out the door. “I believe in. . .the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot. . .opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

Annie can only reply, “Oh, my.” I mean, seriously? There is only one thing to do with the guy that can deliver a line like that: take him home. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

Of course, Annie did not do this right away. She was teaching the young punk with a 90 mph arm how to harness his thoughts, how to discipline his focus. The fact that she did this by convincing him to wear a garter belt and breathe through his eyeballs was just pure bonus. He was a punk and he sort of deserved it, but also, Annie had a mission. She was like Aphrodite, training the novice love warrior in the art of irony and the way of devotion. But even as she was spending her time with the young no-hitter, she secretly knew that Crash Davis was more compelling, more interesting, far deeper, and more capable of the long, slow burn. One of the things that made Crash so attractive is that he had some miles on him. He had cultivated humility, had earned every gray hair, every sly move.  He had been around the block, knew who he was, and was infinitely more interesting for it.

Back to the great speech: no pun intended, but in those few sentences, Crash manages to cover all the bases as follows:  reverence for women, the grace of a well placed move, the importance of health, the non-negotiable of pleasure, an ability to see beyond appearances, political free-thinking, honor for excellence, an appreciation for perfection, and respect for tradition. . .not to mention an off-the-chart hot-o-meter. Let us not forget, he started his soliloquy with reverence for the goddess, a quality never to be underestimated. Cheers, girls! Love, C

My two cents: You can star in the movie of your life or you can sit in the audience  and watch it all go by.

***

I love how C uses movies for metaphors and I love music reference.  I don’t really remember Bull Duhram, I mean I remember parts but nothing I could quote.  But now that my memory is refreshed, (thanks C), I remember loving the messages in that movie.  One in particular, men love a little healthy competition regarding the ladies, especially those jock types. And what girl doesn’t love two cute boys fighting over her?  Nothing makes a girl feel sexier than feeling wanted.

I don’t know about you but I can’t think of anything that makes me happier than someone I adore looking at me with his head cocked to the side.  You know the look, that  “Awwww, I am just crazy about you” head cock.  Simple, doesn’t cost any money, and you can’t fake it.  Yea, there is nothing like a good old fashioned love fest. Sitting around, doing nothing special  but staring into each other’s eyes, and adoring each other.  Sickening but sweet to the innocent bystander but it doesn’t matter to you.  Not that you even realize there was anyone even there in the room with you!

So just for fun, let’s go back come on you know you’ve got one, that one fav boyfriend, the one who knocked your socks off and made you believe in love for the first time (or believe in love again).  Go back, what was going on? What was your favorite song at the time?  What did you do and where did you go? Go back and remember every delicious detail.  If you haven’t yet had that feeling yet, find a movie relationship that feels close to how you would love to feel and relish that for a bit.

There is a reason for this, the more you recognize what makes you happy and feel good, the easier it will be to recognize it when it comes.  I still love my go-to, good feeling, fav boyfriend, and even though we didn’t last, all I have to do is think of him and it makes me happy.  Oh, and my go-to song to get me feeling great? “More than a Feeling” by Boston.  It’s a sure thing.  xo-K

My two cents:  Have a go-to, feel good, something.

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losing yourself in love

Relationships are all about balance, you know? Give too little, and they wither on the vine. Give too much, and you run the risk of losing your sense of self. Oh, yeah. . .been there, done that, bought the whole truckload of tee shirts!

Why do we give ourselves away so easily after we’ve worked so hard to become the bright, radiant, sassy, sexy, capable goddesses that we are? I don’t think it’s because we’re flawed. I think it’s because we are so amazing, that we care so completely. Our well of compassion is so full and so deep, it feels like we have an endless supply to give to those we love. We have so much love to give that it seems impossible to give too much. Unfortunately, we’re also conditioned to put ourselves at the end of that people-to-love, list so that after we’re done doing for others and doing for others and doing for others, our well runs dry and we snap like on old dry twig. It’s easy to get lost in love. Thank goodness, we have our girlfriends, our sisters,  our daughters, to remind us to ‘put our own oxygen mask on first.’

Here’s the thing about goals: they have a way to completing themselves when you write them down. Like magic! I suggest that you make three goals for self care and that you share them with your best friend, who will monitor your progress and help you celebrate when you achieve them.

1. Take time for yourself each day. Even if it’s only five minutes locked in the bathroom, listening to your favorite music on your iPod. Do it.

2. Do one nice thing for yourself each month. Get a pedi. Take a bubblebath. Go for high tea at the Four Seasons. Do it.

3. Once a year, get away. Plan a girls weekend. Go on a retreat. Take a seminar. Do it.

This isn’t about indulgence. Okay, maybe it is. But the point is this: make you the focus of you once in a while. Give yourself some of that sweet lovin’ you rain on everyone around you. Nurture yourself. Love yourself. You’ll be a better person for it. Love, C

My two cents: remember, you are a goddess! Treat yourself like one.

***

I was just having three hour coffee with my dear friend discussing this very subject.  I have been dealing with resistance and working through that.  I feel as if I have made some headway, and this was a big one for me.  When I am single, I have no problem filling myself up, and taking time for me.  I have my weekly massage, and a pedi once a month, got that down no problem.  Even being a mom, I make time for me.  I think that is being a good role model for my daughter, take care of you, then give to others.  Makes sense, right?  I was just  having a little anxiety around still taking care of me, doing the things I like to do and not putting myself last when I have a man in my life.  I have lost myself before, but you know what?  I know now, that I will consciously care for myself.  Between chatting with my friend for hours around this and now reading C’s post, I know that I can stay me even when I become a we.

Maybe, just to be safe I will print this out and post it on my bathroom mirror as a reminder.  xo-K

My two cents:  Be true to you!

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Filed under dating advice, love, relationships, self-care, soulmate