Tag Archives: Unity

codependent no more!~

Can we all just make a pact that we are no longer going to feel responsible for how anyone else feels about anything?  Not our kids, not our spouse,  not our friends, not our boss or our coworkers, not anyone?  Pinky promise?  Seriously,  are we done yet?

This is such a HUGE one for me, and I have to tell you,  a real sneaky one.  I thought I was so over care-taking,  I made a declaration when my daughter was born –yea, childbirth is a time when you get really clear –I told everyone whom I came in contact with, that anyone over five years of age was, as far as I was concerned, on their own.  And I was serious.  All my friends who had enjoyed my codependent tendencies were NOT happy with that revelation.

Well, my daughter is almost sixteen and I am still working on this.  Really?  I do work in a service profession, but, come on, I am still feeling responsible for how others feel and trying to make it better for them.  Like that is even possible.

I know that part of this is just being a woman, it’s in our DNA: woman=caretaker, but this is bigger.  Why do I feel responsible for what everyone around me feels or experiences, and why do I feel it is my responsibility to fix it?

It’s kinda weird, my daughter is away at camp this week, she has been away before so that is no big deal, but never without me being able to shoot her a text or call her if I need to check in.  I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal for me but it is.  I can’t care-take her,  even if I want to, I can’t.  And by the way, in case it matters, she doesn’t need me to.  So I just got it, maybe it is more about me, this codependent thing.  Maybe it is not so much about people needing me to care for them, but me needing them to need me.

OMG, like I have said before if you don’t journal you should.  I am writing this and I had no idea what my real feelings were about this until I started writing about it.  Amazing. I started this with the intention of making a vow that I would no longer feel responsible for how others feel, and now I am seeing that I do it because there is something in it for me.  And I have to say, in almost all instances when people do things, it’s always because there is something in it for them. . .you see, it’s sneaky, but that’s a WHOLE other post.

So I am going to end this with a question, and I am going to go do some meditation and work on it myself and I will check back in.  Do you need others to depend on you?  Does it make you feel good, needed, whole, whatever, if someone needs you to fix their life/problems for them? Just sayin’.  xo-K

♥♥♥

If you’ve ready many of these posts, you know that K and I talk. Everyday.  Usually, when something is “up” for one of use, the other isn’t far behind. We’re kinda in synch that way.  And this is the thing that we’ve noticed in our “work” ~ we have become so ultra sensitive to energy, that we know when something is up, often before the other is even aware.

So anyway, one morning this week when I was still all buzzed from my Abraham workshop, and K was just beginning to catch the energetic wave of hers, we had what I consider a breakthrough healing, while talking on the phone. I was talking about my ongoing challenge at work, and she casually mentioned that wily “C” word: codependent.

Can I just say? My whole body responded to the word: my heart just sort of flowered open, and I felt a zap of Kundalini heat snake up my spine. Eureka! The behavior that was bugging me so much wasn’t my co-worker: it was me. I had jumped into an old, familiar codependent role, doing everything short of spinning on my head in a  diamond-crusted tutu in order to make the other person happy. Come on!

This all made sense in a whole new way at the Unity Service I attended this morning. Can I just say? I love Reverend Lisa! There she was, talking her talk, and I just sat there,  soaking up the wisdom, when suddenly I felt a jolt of electricity that said: pay attention.

“We live in a world of cause and effect,” she said. “But I don’t have to let your “cause” determine my “effect.”  In other words, we get to choose, at every moment what is real and true and right for us. Rev. Lisa went on to say that we are co-creators with the energy of the Universe, and that we can choose whatever effect any cause will have on us, simply by determining what is “true” for us. Hello, co-dependence? Are you listening sweetie?

“It’s all about faith,” she said. “We can choose to believe that we live in a benevolent universe, and rest our faith there. The question is,” she said, “what do you choose to have faith in?” She explained we are all spiritual creatures, and love is our nature. We can choose to take on other people’s wounds if it happens to correspond to a belief that we don’t deserve love, money, or happiness. . .or not.

So the question is: do I choose to see myself as a being expressing divine love and perfection, an active co-creator with the all that is, and therefore to allow the truth of my being, which is love, in? Or not? Yeah, big stuff. Love, C

My two cents: choosing to be codependent no more is an act so huge it can affect the spin of entire galaxies.


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let go, let God

You know how when you hear or read something that is so big, you can hardly get your head around it, and you need to let it soak in and marinate for a couple of days?  Yeah, the Abraham workshop was like that for me. There was so much good stuff coming so big and so fast, after a while, I stopped saying “wait, I have to remember this,” and just let it wash over me.

This morning while getting ready to go take in a Unity service, I was listening to an MP3 download of another Abraham workshop. And just like that, an idea clicked. It keeps playing over and over in my mind and I feel like I keep spiraling up, up, up, with it. One of the amazing things they said, was toward the end of the day. Be easy, they said. Relax. “Just know that you’re swimming in an ocean of well-being,” they said. My whole body just let go when they said that. Think about it: an ocean of well-being. Oceans are pretty big. Imagine floating in a warm, vast, ocean of well-being without beginning or end. Yeah.

The other thing they said was about getting in the Vortex. All that we desire is in there, so it’s a pretty groovy place. Now before, I had thought about “getting in” as getting in so I could get my stuff. But this time, Abraham said you don’t “go” there, it isn’t something that takes a effort to “get” in, as if: when you meditate hard enough or long enough, if you study hard enough, if you work out just the right combination of thinking/doing, you’ll get it. Abraham said that you relax into it. Because when you’re relaxed, when you’re happy, in that place of appreciation and joy, you’re so close to being in alignment with what you want that it just happens without effort. It’s about letting go.

I’ve been on Match dot com for a couple of months, and have had various experiences that I’ve shared on these “pages.” Hey! Everything that happens to Two Girls is fair game for our beloved blog! Anyway. Recently, I decided to revise my thinking about the process. Instead of doing it to “get”  someone, I decided to be easy about it and do it for fun. Almost immediately, I met someone who finds me just as interesting as I find him. Yum!

Isn’t that the way it is? Stop wanting the job, and it comes to you. Stop trying to lose the weight, and it melts off. We’re programmed to think that doing is the way to achieve. But really, we aren’t human doings, we are human beings. And when we just. . .get. . .happy, when we allow ourselves to float in that ocean of well-being, when we really believe with every atom of our body and soul that “everything always works out for me,” we give up our resistance, and it just flows in, as if by magic. Love, C

My two cents: give up, give in, get happy.

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Ahhh, letting go, giving  it up and then you get the prize?  Precisely, and since C and I are both doing the Abraham workshop thing this month, it’s all about Abe,  it is my favorite place to be, favorite thing to talk about.

It’s so funny, I literally just gave it up, I had written my part of our post and I just deleted it, let it go and am now re-writing it, I love how this stuff works.  I had gone through some stuff with a client, actually two clients last week and I was so irritated with our interaction that I had to write about it.  I knew that there was a lesson in it for me but I was irritated none the  less.  Anyway, as soon as I wrote it down and read it back to myself I was done with it, I was ready to let it go and I no longer felt the need to put it out there, to tell that story again, one more time for all to see.

This blog has been such a gift to me, even my massage therapist/energy worker/goddess says that this is the best thing I have ever done for myself regarding my healing/spiritual work.  There is something so magical about writing, I have to tell you, if you have never kept a journal or written in a diary, I highly recommend it.  I have made quantum leaps in my growth from just jotting down my thoughts and experiences on this blog, so amazing.

So, I  have been really working on letting things go this week,  funny how it works, C does a post on letting go, leaves it for me to do my bit on the topic and bam, before you know it, stuff I need to let go of appears for me to take care of and write about.   Seriously, I am the queen of letting go of things, getting rid of junk, I don’t have any kind or storage garage, and I never have, thank you very much, I travel light.  So for me to have stuff to let go of. . . well who am I kidding –don’t we all have stuff that we need to just let go of?

Since I am now re-writing this  today I am doing so after I just got back from seeing Abraham yesterday, and believe me  I learned so much  that there are many amazing, dazzling posts to come so stay tuned. . .but seriously, so much of what they were talking about was about letting go.  Just let it go, stop worrying, go to the beach if you feel the need but just let it go. Have faith and know everything  works out precisely the way it is supposed to.  xoK

My two cents:   Drop the oars, and just allow the river to take you to wherever it is you are supposed to be, and have faith in knowing  that it is going to be really, really, good.


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