"the way it is"

I haven’t always believed in a benevolent universe; it just isn’t what I was taught about the world. But even as a kid, a scary world view just didn’t ring true to me.  As a child, when a situation didn’t feel good, I would make an escape, usually in one of two ways. Either I would go out and play in the lush forests surrounding my home, hanging out in nature; or I would exercise my active imagination, play with my dolls and go to make-believe land. Either way, I went to my “happy place.”

As a grown up person, it isn’t always convenient to run off to the woods. Sometimes I have to stay in place and “be present” with a situation. But often, looking at “what is” and studying it and hanging out in Whatisville doesn’t make me happy. Why is that? Is it because I’m always desiring the next best thing, or because I’m not allowing happiness in? Ouch!

I have never been satisfied with the statement “that’s just the way it is.” I can’t figure out why anyone would just stop wondering, no question, end of story. I have always loved exploring new ways of doing things, new ways of thinking. Seems to me that “what-is-ness” can leads to shutting the door on future happiness, and why would anyone do that?

Focusing on “what is” is just a habit. A pretty ingrained habit, but a habit nonetheless, which means it can be changed. Relief! But resistance is sneaky. Just last night, I woke up and my mind started churning. Then, I decided to  list everything I am grateful for in my life, starting with A, then B, and so on. I got to about D and got distracted by some little worry, some little “what is.”  After a while I realized what I was doing, and resumed my gratitude list.  By the time I got from A to Z, I was so exhausted from the effort to focus, I fell peacefully back to sleep. Why are we so easily distracted by “the way it is?”

I don’t have it figured out. Yeah, just when I think I’ve got it worked out, I’ll discover a super sneaky belief about what-is, one that is keeping me stuck, one that is overdue for healing, and needs to be let go. Super fun! Love, C

My two cents: it’s okay to visit Whatisville, just don’t move in!

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It has been really challenging for me to not chime in my two cents when someone I care about is arguing for their limitations.  I can see that they want something so badly yet they are putting so much energy into all of the ways they think it won’t work out; wanting their child who recently graduated college to find a great job but affirming there are no jobs out there, wanting to be abundant but affirming no one is getting ahead in this economy. No wonder it takes so long to get what you want,  if you even do.  Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.

I know I can be. Just today with one little phone call, there I was all pissy, arguing for my limitations.  Damn, I still get caught up sometimes and I know better, which makes it even more frustrating.  Seems like the more I do this stuff the harder it is when I am not on track.  Thrown off of the merry-go-round, straight into the bushes as Abraham would say. Not a fun place to be.

We all have beliefs, things we put in the “just the way it is” category, whether we got them from our parents, school, history, the news, it doesn’t matter.  It’s really easy to get going on some perceived injustice and really dig your heels in. Pretty soon everything in your life is going down the tubes, or so it seems.  I was on a rampage on about four different topics this afternoon.  What a crummy way to spend  my day off.

That’s just the way it is

Some things will never change

That’s just the way it is

But don’t you believe them ~Bruce Hornsby

I always loved that song, and don’t you believe them, great line. When someone says something with such conviction but it really doesn’t resonate with you, and you know in your soul it’s not true, don’t believe it, don’t take their word for it, don’t buy into it.

Nothing is set in stone, and no one can say what’s right and true  for you.  I know what’s right for me and even though I got a little off track today, hey it happens. With a little help from my friends and a little tapping with Brad this evening is feeling much better.  xo-K

My two cents:  As much as we want the things outside of us to be the way we want them to be to make us happy, it’s even cooler when we are happy regardless of what’s going on out there.