expecting miracles

Don’t you just love it when the cosmos gives you a little shout out?  I had a shift of perception this morning, an opening where my soul slipped through with an insight. In that moment when I went from feeling stuck to feeling grateful. Nice!

We all have blue moments, right? It’s part of the work we do, just becoming aware of the moment we fall under  what Robert Ohotto calls a cultural spell, start believing that it’s all real out there, when it really is just a movie of our making.  The number one fix for that is meditation and/or prayer. So simple, and yet so easy for the ego to say, “Honey, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. You’re so good, so spiritually evolved, you can get by without it, just for today!” Trust me on this one: doesn’t work!

Another trick I use is to keep myself surrounded by spiritual masters. Sometimes this means going to a church service, a lecture, a concert, a reading.  I recently had two different friends from different corners of the country come to the town where I live for their work. I had heard about James O’Dea coming to lecture at the Unity Church that I attend, and really wanted to see him. I had a dilemma for about half a minute about how to spend time with my girls, then I realized that they would both enjoy hearing O’Dea speak. I told them that our Sunday program included a church service with a world-class speaker, then brunch at my fav local egg and toast joint. It was fantastic, and we all had a great time! (Except for darling P, who was not fooled by that hand-holding Unity business for a minute!)

Another way to connect is with the amazing collection of spirit-related videos on YouTube. Do we live at a great time on this planet or what?? Feeling a little blue?  Check out Jessica’s affirmations on YouTube!  Want to connect to something bigger than yourself? Listen to Eckhart Tolle on YouTube! So easy.

This morning I found my brain worrying a minor life issue like a dog with a bone. I refused to go into a huge drama about it, but I still have some energy around it, or it wouldn’t be an issue at all, it wouldn’t resonate at all. Anyway, I started to go there. You know what I mean!

Then, in the midst of looking for a nice morning message to distract myself, I found a video that contained beautiful celestial music, with images of great, galactic spans of space filled with pinwheels of magnetic gas and columns of light and star dust, and my puny little problems just vanished. Where was Earth? Where was I? It was like looking into forever. I mean, in the perspective of eternity, does it really matter if that parking ticket was fair or unfair? Really? Come on! Get over it already! Love, C

My two cents: I am the writer, director, and actor in the movie of my life and I can change it in any moment.

♥♥♥

I used to pray for miracles, look for them, hope for them.  Now I expect them.  And because I expect them and appreciate when they happen they come more frequently and in many different ways.

I got a very expensive traffic ticket in the mail last week, I had been working on my feelings of prosperity and money really not being an issue for me.  Money is energy and really neutral, it has whatever power or feeling  you put behind it. So anyway, got this ticket, right before I am ready to leave for vacation and I have to say my first reaction was I was pissed.  I was caught on video making a right hand turn on a red light.  I remember doing that, and the light had just turned red.  Yeah right, so what, what I did was wrong so I had to pay.  They had a video of me so even if I was going to fight it, which I wasn’t, no winning that one.

When I opened the ticket and saw the fine I had to put it aside for the night, I felt sick to my stomach and knew I had to get into a better space before I could deal with it.  I had a feeling I got that ticket for a reason so I wanted to sleep on it.  I had been doing so well on my money not being an issue for me, money was flowing in and flowing out, I had plenty and I was feeling good about it.  Now this, okay well I did say I wanted to master this and I was being given an opportunity here.

When I woke up in the morning the first thing I thought was I would call and ask if I could make payments on the ticket, explain I was leaving for vacation and that I needed more time.  That didn’t feel good, I was going to try to convince a total stranger that I couldn’t afford the ticket?  That was not in alignment with what I was trying to master regarding money. Uggg, I did my morning meditation and it came to me,  I would pay the whole thing right now.  I just knew that by doing that everything would be fine and I would be lined up to what I was trying to accomplish around prosperity.

As soon as I made that decision, I felt like well, a million bucks.  Another thing that happened after I made that decision was I opened a pocket in my purse, a pocket that I know I looked through the day before when rounding up my checks from my clients for deposit and I found a stack of checks, $700 to be exact. Now that’s a miracle, oh and another thing, when I looked again at the ticket, I had  read it wrong, it was $100 less than I thought it was.  I think it was worth getting the ticket just to really get the lesson on prosperity. xo-K

My two cents: Miracles are everywhere, even where you least expect them.

partner or project?

Once upon a time I worked in the tasting room of a beautiful little California winery. It was a fun job and we cellar rats got pretty good at predicting which tourists would come in and say they wanted a “dry” wine when that wasn’t what they wanted at all. Sure enough, they’d say ‘dry,’ we’d pour them a fruity, slightly sweet taste, and their eyes would light up. “Perfect!”

According to Robert Ohotto, we say we want a partner, but sometimes, we’re looking for a project.  However, actions speak louder than words. If you’re currently single, look at the last several people you dated that somehow, mysteriously, didn’t work out.  They all seemed so good, they had so much potential, right? Except for that one little annoying thing. . .and you’re sure that if you’d had enough time, you could have figured out how to fix it. True or false? Come on!

Right, and you married girls are not off the hook, either. Fess up: how long did it take to train the mister in the ways of your world? Weeks, months, never? It’s not a judgment, just an observation. I’m just sayin’ we say partner but think project.

Back in the day, the Temptations teamed up with the fabulous Supremes and released a song called “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me.” Lalala,  it sounded romantic enough, but it was wrong. You can’t make someone love you. You can fool them for a while, you can manipulate them, be a doormat, a sex goddess, a race car mechanic; make yourself available, twist yourself into whatever shape you think will trick him into loving you, but you can’t fool the universe, and manipulation always backfires. Always!

Oh sure, it may work for a while, years even. But what do you do when the project is done, when you finally fall down exhausted from all the effort it takes to work at it, and surrender?

I had the realization that I’ve been guilty of project-ing this morning while talking to K and driving to work.  When it dawned on me that I’ve been a Project Proletariat, I almost drove off the road. (Yeah, even though I drive hands free, it’s still roulette. Kids, don’t try this at home!) I can say without a shred of doubt that the last line up of candidates for my affection were flawed and in the back of my Princess and the Pea brain, I was thinking, ‘oh, he’s just wrong about (choose one): a) me, b) him, c) us, d) all of the above. I’ll bring him around, I just know it.  Sheesh.

But I’m not alone, and that’s some consolation. And as they say, when two or more are gathered, miracles occur. So can we be done with the project, already? It’s simply exhausting, the tug-of-war of it all. Let’s allow ourselves to choose someone who wants the same things we do, someone who wants to paddle the canoe in the same direction we do. Sounds nice, right? Love, C

My two cents: if it’s a struggle, it’s a project.

♥♥♥

So how can we tell if a new guy is a  potential partner or a project? Well I think first off we have to stay in the moment and really pay attention. Second,  I don’t know about you but at this point in the game I have a list of negotiable and non-negotiable things that I am really trying to stick to.  From little things like “must be employed” to  “must live nearby” to so I can actually, physically date him.  I have had boyfriends in the past who lived across the country and the thought of us being in the same place was, well, a project.  Too hard, didn’t seem like it could really happen except in our fantasies.  Sweet and romantic, but not realistic.

I have to say, and I am not proud of this fact but it is a fact that I have been known to take on a project or 5 in my time.  I have actually been  fond of the project in the past; it felt like a challenge to me. . . and I am, make that was, always up for a challenge. Ugh, exhausting, and so not worth the effort. I know it might seem fun when you see someone has potential to get in there and help him be better or help him get that job or help him realize he can’t live without you or. . . I am finished trying to convince someone how great they are or how great I am for them.

Let’s just spell it out plain and simple. When you meet the perfect guy for you, and I am not saying there is any perfect guy, cause that would be silly, wouldn’t it? But, when you meet the perfect guy for YOU, take note here. . . pay attention. . . it is going to be easy.

When things are right, they are right.  When things line up, they line up.  When things are meant to be. . . you know where I am going with this.  You have to learn to trust. Trust your guidance, trust your intuition, damn, read your freakin’ horoscope.  The Universe is conspiring for your good. And you need to just go with that.  If it starts getting to complicated, it’s a project, if it’s too hard, project,  as cute as he is, sorry probably not going to happen.

It is so great when you finally get it, it really is.  Just the other day C and I were working on a design project, after throwing around a few ideas and we agreed on one that we though was perfect.  Welllll, we could not get the image to upload to save our lives.  I never claimed to be a computer genius but, come on? It isn’t that hard.  We tried and tried and couldn’t make it happen.  It didn’t take us too long to get that there was something else out there, even though, we really liked our idea, that was way better.

As soon as we realized that, we found the perfect design.  And we both knew it when we saw it.  xo-K

My two cents:  If something seems too hard and it’s not flowing,  there is something better out there for you, and you will just know it when you see it.

what are you so afraid of?

You say you want a relationship, a good one, one that is the real deal, the last forever kind.  So… why do you think it hasn’t shown up yet?

What if someone came up to you right here, right now, and told you your perfect match, your soulmate, the love of your life, was going to be here next week, say Thursday night at 8:00.  Quick- what is the first thought or feeling that comes up?   Excitement?  Happiness?  Anticipation?  Fear?  Mine was: Wait, I’m not ready!  What? Are you kidding me?  I have been waiting my whole life for this and now I’m not ready?

Not your reaction?  Are you sure about that?  Most people who don’t have fears or issues or something like that and really want a great relationship have one, plain and simple. And if you’re already there you’re probably not reading a blog about finding love.  So, here we are.  Just sayin’…

I just finished listening to an online seminar with Robert Ohotto, if you are not familiar with him I highly recommend  checking him out.  The webinar was titled “Soul Connections-Cultivating Intimacy within a New Relationship Paradigm.”  And it was nothing short of amazing.

This was a four hour e-seminar,and man was it info packed.  He touched on too many ideas to cover in this short little post, but I so feel better.  Having fear is normal; it’s one of the roles we play.  He talks about all of the archetypes in relationships and I recognized a few that I’ve done, many that I’ve done, and many that I’m done with.

My head is spinning with all the new information. I’ve listened to the  download of the webinar twice,  and I am still processing.  If I had to comment on anything at this point it would be that  I still have a lot of fears, and it is okay.  I am right on track for what I want and all is well.

I feel so blessed that  for each step I take, the next thing I need is right there waiting for me.  I’m baby steppin’, but I’m doing it.  Everything is happening right as it should, in perfect timing.  I am doing this, facing all the things that seem so scary: abandonment, betrayal, and, what if my “soulmate” shows up and he doesn’t like me??  Yikes, sounds crazy when I write it out loud, but I actually thought that for a minute.  Okay well, gotta process all of this.  xo-K

My two cents:  Everything you need will be there for you right when you need it.

***

I haven’t listened to Ohotto’s webinar yet — but plan to devote serious time to it, based on K’s review. I listen to him on Hay House Radio on a weekly basis. Robert is crazy smart, spooky intuitive, and has an uncanny ability to tell it like it is. Intuitively,  I like his style, I like his perspective, and I really like his insights into life. He’s a student of Carolyn Myss, and he has a knack for making you laugh even as he’s making a really important point.  He’s a genius, but that’s another story.

What really interests me is the idea of Fear. I’m not talking about the kind of fear that comes plugging in a DVD of Silence of the Lambs at home in a big country house, alone, at night. Or jumping off a bridge over a river with giant, elastic bands wrapped around your ankles. Or having a big dog lunge at you before he reaches the end of his chain.  This is about the small fears. It’s about the accumulated mountain of little fears that keep you from reaching your potential, everyday, for years and years on end. It’s the fear that whispers, “Don’t try that; you’ve never done it before.” or “What if you’re not thin enough?” or “You failed at love once before, what if you die alone?”

Fear is the great motivator that keeps us doing or not doing the things that can push us to fulfilling our destiny. It keeps us safe, because if we don’t try, then there’s no failure, and if there’s no failure, then we’re okay, right? Fear can define us. Or, if we are willing to risk the ordeal of facing it, fear can liberate us. Each fear is like life saying, “Are you ready to take this on? Are you willing to reach your potential?”

According to Marianne Williamson, the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s fear. She goes on to say that nothing is real but love, so the fear is illusion. But that’s another story, too. Let’s just stick with fear. This kind of work requires brutal, total, self-honesty. Can you do that?

So, here are a few questions to help you identify your fears. The trick is, to answer without thinking about it.  Just say the first thing that pops up. Ready? Okay, answer these questions:

• Assuming you played a role in the end of your last relationship (because you did), what fear motivated your actions?
• If the love of your life came knocking on the door, what would make you afraid to open it? (Fear of abandonment? Fear of failure? Fear of success?)
• Assuming you could have the love/success you desire, which fear would you be willing to exchange for it? (If you’re totally honest, you have to admit to at least one. No cheating!)

There are no right or wrong answers. This weekend, at a family reunion, my brother and I tried to find an old landmark from our shared past. A few years had come and gone, and nothing was as we remembered. And yet, everything fell in to place as we took one step, and then another. This is the thing: if you trust that things will work out, they generally do.  Love, C

My two cents: follow your heart instead of your fear; you heart knows what it’s talking about.