unpretty

The topic of bitches seems to have ignited some controversy. Maybe  it’s hit something at the core of our being. We love the bitch, and we hate her. She is the killer and the healer. She is the seer and the truth-speaker. She is the seducer, the power broker, the bad ass. She is a dangerous beautiful one, and she’s in every one of us. She may be part of us, but in some of us she’s a sleeping beauty, and that’s too bad.

Some of my favorite movie heroines are the ones who have fallen under the spell of believing there is something wrong with them, and that ultimately, they are “not pretty” enough to deserve the love they crave.  These are characters like Michelle Pfiffer in Frankie and Johnny, or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. And without doubt, these are women who have been rode hard and put up wet, women who were probably damaged in some way along the line when they were young, and as adults, they’ve carried that “not good-enough-ness” around with them and called it a life.

As an aside, can I just say? Michelle and Julia are not what I would consider classic beauties. Their unusual features probably got them teased quite a bit as kids. As a result they probably developed their inner bitch a little bit, learned how to get what they want. I don’t know either of these ladies, I’m just sayin’.

Anyway back to our sad leading ladies (and we’re all the leading lady in the movies of our lives, right?). We have to assume that someone, somewhere along the line told them that they were bad, or unloveable, or dumb, or not pretty or (fill in the blank)_______________. And then they believed it. Then they started making bad choices in life and in men, all which served to reinforce their barely-there self esteem, and it became first a habit, then a way of life. Sad.

Fortunately for our girls, they had a couple of hot leading men (Al Pacino and Richard Gere) to convince them that they were worthy and noble and brave, so they too, began to believe.  Of course it would have been much better if our girls had  come to those conclusions on their own, but sometimes we need a little help from our friends and we’re really lucky when that kind of love comes around. You know the kind, the love that sees you for the radiant goddess that you are. But if you’re waiting for Prince Darling to come along and declare you whole and healed and ready for the great love of your life, well then sister, you better bitch up. Say yes to what’s good for you. Draw boundaries. Say no to what you don’t want to do. Say goodbye to the people and other habits in your life that don’t fit the inner bitch.  Become a strong, confident, un-clingy, bodacious, healthy woman, the kind the man you want would be with.

Because energy matches energy, until you start respecting yourself, you”ll keep attracting the ones who are less than the One, because you’re behaving like less than the One’s One and it has nothing to do with “pretty.” Love, C

My two cents: embrace your inner bitch and she’ll embrace you back!

♥♥♥

I just love Frankie and Johnnie, you have to take a moment and click on the link.  That is of my favorite scenes, good find C.  It is so obvious that Al is crazy about Michelle but she just can’t believe it or accept it, so sad.  Whether someone who was supposed to love you as a child didn’t, or maybe someone from school or that first boyfriend made you feel bad, unpretty, unlovable or just not good enough.  Probably had nothing to do with you, but it sure can do a number on your head.

It really is wonderful when someone who can really see your beauty comes along like Al Pacino in Frankie and Johnnie, but if you don’t feel worthy, and you don’t believe it,  you can let it get away.  Most of the time what happens is that you attract people who treat you the way you think you should be treated, how people from your past treated you.  It just affirms what you have always thought, all men are bad, they cheat, love hurts, or whatever the old tapes that you play in your head say.

Water does rise to it’s own level but it also rises to it’s own illusion.  If you think you are unworthy you will attract to that level.  Even when it’s nowhere near the truth.  I was talking to a friend the other day, great girl, beautiful, funny, but she is surrounded by people who are full of drama and treat her poorly.  Does she deserve it?  Hell no, but she is attracting it, so I think she needs to take a break and think about why people in her life think it’s okay to dump on her, and why she even thinks that these people are her friends.  I guess if this has been a pattern that has been repeated throughout your life, it seems your only options are crappy friends or no friends.  Cheating, lowdown bf or being alone.

Those are not your only choices but you need to know that.  Start looking for and noticing things that you like about yourself, start really seeing your beauty, know how worthy you are.  You deserve the best, so know it, own it and draw it in. xo-K

My two cents:  You get to pick who you allow to be in your life.  So be choosy.

 

 

 

 

mirror mirror in my hand

Don’t you love how the universe is always showing you to yourself? When I first starting studying metaphysics and learning that we literally create our world with our thoughts, it changed everything I understood to be true. Seriously! I felt like Alice down the Rabbit hole. “But if everything I thought was true really isn’t, then what is true?” Great question!

Once, I knew a girl who had been diabetic since she was 12 years old. Man, that is rough. Being a teenager is tough enough, what with all those simmering hormones swelling up and crashing through your bloodstream, but imagine having to stop and measure your blood sugar too? And learning how to give yourself shots? It’s amazing what we sign up for on the other side before we jump into Earth School!

Anyway, so after reading Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” — which I totally recommend keeping on a shelf in your home at all times — I casually asked my friend one day, “so, your pancreas stopped working when you were 12 years old, right?” Warily, my friend who was only just beginning to study metaphysics and the mind/body connection, said, “yes.”

According to Louise Hay, the body never lies. Even if we can convince ourselves that we don’t feel smothered and that asthma is just a random condition, or that the mutant carcinoma cells in our colon have nothing to do with our inability to let go of past hurts, our body isn’t fooled and is holding a mirror up to us at all times to let us know how our thoughts are literally creating our world. Its subtle messages are saying, “pay attention to this symptom! This whisper is the cosmic calling card that arrives before the cosmic two-by-four!” Or something like that. Deep stuff.

So back to my friend. I said, “didn’t your parents divorce when you were 12? Is that when the sweetness went out of your life?” My friend, “B” thought I was blaming her for her condition. “How can you say that!” She cried. “I have a disease! It’s not my fault!”

I wasn’t blaming B for her diabetes. I was trying to connect the dots between her emotional happiness and her health. According to the Laws of Attraction, if you can create illness, you can create health. Oh, oh. This means that there is no victim. Ever. We create the conditions of our lives, and we can change them. Easier said than done. Have you ever tried to change your mind about something you thought you believed? Well, you can’t always believe everything you think.

If something is showing up in your life, you have to admit that its there because of a thought you hold. If you don’t have enough money, maybe you don’t believe you’re worthy. If  you have an illness, maybe there’s an underlying belief that if you’re sick, you don’t have to be accountable for your life.

Have I got this down? Oh, heck no. But I do know this: the mirror in my hand is held by me, me, nobody else but me. It’s all about me! Love, C

My two cents: dear God, please don’t change the conditions of my life, help me change my mind about them. Amen.

♥♥♥

Wow, that can seem a bit rough, telling someone who is really sick or hurting that  you create your own reality by your thoughts. That can feel like a slap in the face when you don’t understand the laws of the Universe.  It’s not that we do these things to ourselves on purpose, it really is just sloppy thinking, or being around less than positive thinking people or just wanting to be right and digging your heals in.

A few hours ago I stopped by the store for a few things, I was in the quick checkout line  and it was not moving quickly at all.  I glanced over at a People magazine and on the cover was Elizabeth Edwards.  She has been on a few covers lately, so it wasn’t really her that caught my eye but the headline Elizabeth Edwards, How Much More Can She Take? What came to mind for me as I was looking at is was: how much more is it going to take?

I don’t know her and really don’t have any judgment about her or her husband one way or another but it seems to me that she is getting so many signs that she is supposed to make some huge changes regarding her life and possibly her marriage, she seems to be getting a cosmic 2×4 across her head.  Does she deserve it, no, nobody deserves to be kicked again and again when they are down.  Does she need it?  Maybe she does.  I think sometimes people want their way so bad and want to be right that they are going to hold their ground no matter what. I wonder how that’s working for her?

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know it doesn’t work for me anymore, if it ever did in the first place.  I am getting more clear, seeing more clearly into the mirror that is me and not pushing against what I don’t want anymore.  I am no longer using what happened to me when I was a child, or what happened to me last week as my excuse to not be happy.  I don’t need to be right all the time, and when things are not going the way that is best  for me I really try to look and see what I am doing or thinking that might be contributing to the issue.

A few weeks ago, I had a bladder infection that was quite persistent.  I got a prescription, hey that’s what you do right? Well it didn’t work so I called the doctor and got another one.  Still nothing.  Now I know this stuff so it only took me two weeks to consider that maybe there was something about this that I needed to look at.  Sure enough, I looked it up in You Can Heal Your Life, and what do you know,  under bladder infection it said, Anxiety, holding on to old ideas, fear of letting go and  something or someone is “pissing you off.” There is was, that was it.  There was an issue with someone at work that I hadn’t dealt with and I knew as soon as I read it that I had some work to do. xo-K

My two cents:  Taking responsibility for your part in whatever is going on in your life isn’t blaming you, it is giving you back your power to make your life the way you want it.