The topic of bitches seems to have ignited some controversy. Maybe it’s hit something at the core of our being. We love the bitch, and we hate her. She is the killer and the healer. She is the seer and the truth-speaker. She is the seducer, the power broker, the bad ass. She is a dangerous beautiful one, and she’s in every one of us. She may be part of us, but in some of us she’s a sleeping beauty, and that’s too bad.
Some of my favorite movie heroines are the ones who have fallen under the spell of believing there is something wrong with them, and that ultimately, they are “not pretty” enough to deserve the love they crave. These are characters like Michelle Pfiffer in Frankie and Johnny, or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. And without doubt, these are women who have been rode hard and put up wet, women who were probably damaged in some way along the line when they were young, and as adults, they’ve carried that “not good-enough-ness” around with them and called it a life.
As an aside, can I just say? Michelle and Julia are not what I would consider classic beauties. Their unusual features probably got them teased quite a bit as kids. As a result they probably developed their inner bitch a little bit, learned how to get what they want. I don’t know either of these ladies, I’m just sayin’.
Anyway back to our sad leading ladies (and we’re all the leading lady in the movies of our lives, right?). We have to assume that someone, somewhere along the line told them that they were bad, or unloveable, or dumb, or not pretty or (fill in the blank)_______________. And then they believed it. Then they started making bad choices in life and in men, all which served to reinforce their barely-there self esteem, and it became first a habit, then a way of life. Sad.
Fortunately for our girls, they had a couple of hot leading men (Al Pacino and Richard Gere) to convince them that they were worthy and noble and brave, so they too, began to believe. Of course it would have been much better if our girls had come to those conclusions on their own, but sometimes we need a little help from our friends and we’re really lucky when that kind of love comes around. You know the kind, the love that sees you for the radiant goddess that you are. But if you’re waiting for Prince Darling to come along and declare you whole and healed and ready for the great love of your life, well then sister, you better bitch up. Say yes to what’s good for you. Draw boundaries. Say no to what you don’t want to do. Say goodbye to the people and other habits in your life that don’t fit the inner bitch. Become a strong, confident, un-clingy, bodacious, healthy woman, the kind the man you want would be with.
Because energy matches energy, until you start respecting yourself, you”ll keep attracting the ones who are less than the One, because you’re behaving like less than the One’s One and it has nothing to do with “pretty.” Love, C
My two cents: embrace your inner bitch and she’ll embrace you back!
I just love Frankie and Johnnie, you have to take a moment and click on the link. That is of my favorite scenes, good find C. It is so obvious that Al is crazy about Michelle but she just can’t believe it or accept it, so sad. Whether someone who was supposed to love you as a child didn’t, or maybe someone from school or that first boyfriend made you feel bad, unpretty, unlovable or just not good enough. Probably had nothing to do with you, but it sure can do a number on your head.
It really is wonderful when someone who can really see your beauty comes along like Al Pacino in Frankie and Johnnie, but if you don’t feel worthy, and you don’t believe it, you can let it get away. Most of the time what happens is that you attract people who treat you the way you think you should be treated, how people from your past treated you. It just affirms what you have always thought, all men are bad, they cheat, love hurts, or whatever the old tapes that you play in your head say.
Water does rise to it’s own level but it also rises to it’s own illusion. If you think you are unworthy you will attract to that level. Even when it’s nowhere near the truth. I was talking to a friend the other day, great girl, beautiful, funny, but she is surrounded by people who are full of drama and treat her poorly. Does she deserve it? Hell no, but she is attracting it, so I think she needs to take a break and think about why people in her life think it’s okay to dump on her, and why she even thinks that these people are her friends. I guess if this has been a pattern that has been repeated throughout your life, it seems your only options are crappy friends or no friends. Cheating, lowdown bf or being alone.
Those are not your only choices but you need to know that. Start looking for and noticing things that you like about yourself, start really seeing your beauty, know how worthy you are. You deserve the best, so know it, own it and draw it in. xo-K
My two cents: You get to pick who you allow to be in your life. So be choosy.