you probably think this blog is about you

Everyone loves Two Girls!!  I am shocked, amazed, awestruck, amused and most of all grateful.  C and I have always written from the heart, and we usually write about what is happening. . . right now.  That being said, everyone who comes in contact with us is potentially Two Girls material.  As much as we try to mix it up, people might come to the conclusion that  we are talking about them in our blog.  This has happen to me on more than one occasion.

Sometimes we talk about dating and relationships, and C, who btw,  in the past hadn’t  shared much of her personal info when she is dating someone new, is now much more open and lets  her dates know who she is and what she does, including the fact that she writes a blog. This is great, but sometimes  I think, don’t tell them… I want to write about them and now they will totally know we’re talking about them. That being said we  have to be a bit creative when we are telling our story as to not incriminate or hurt feelings.

I have heard from quite a few friends and fans of Two Girls when a post really resonated with them, that they were going through something and then read our most recent post and it was about just the thing they were working through.  I love when that happens.  See: we are all more alike than we are different.

We all want to love and be loved.  We all want health and prosperity for ourselves, our family, and our friends.  We have all dealt with heartache, loss, and disappointment. We have all been afraid.  Lost a job or a loved one.  Or maybe just had a crappy day.  Oh, and don’t get me started on Mercury Retrograde.  We all just want to be happy and have a joy filled life.

September has been a hard month.  There’s a lot going on energetically, it is a great time for releasing, so when stuff comes up for you (and it will), make sure you have someone to work through it with.  Oh, and if you want to be part of  Two Girls, we’d love to have you.  Leave us a comment. Maybe you have something to share that would be beneficial for others to hear.  xo-K

My two cents:  If you think this blog is about you, it is probably for you.

♥♥♥

Yeah, K and I have been working on these principles for a while.  We talk about this stuff for hours.  As time goes by it’s become more and more clear that: a) we’re kinda getting better at it even though we have a ways to go, and b) we  totally see these principles at work in our lives and the lives of those around us. Cool!

It’s so true: we need each other. Not just me and K — all of us. We need each other! Not just for sex and safety and survival, and all that primal stuff. We need each other so that we can see each other, see our own Divine spark reflected back in someone’s eyes.  My blog partner and I are mirrors for each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. . .and then we blog about it.

Yeah, if you know us, chances are that you’ll show up on the “pages” of Two Girls. Not that you will recognize yourself, because that would just not be fair. When we have written about someone without disguise, they knew about it ahead of time and agreed to it.   I have already gone on record that as a writer, my style could be called voyeur. I watch. I watch people, I observe the world.  And then I tell stories.  I know for me, the best part of camping is certainly not the bugs and the dirt . . .it’s the stories around the campfire. Well, the stories and the s’mores and the stars above.

If you think that you see yourself in one of our stories, rest assured you’re not the only one. Are we psychic? Well yeah, sure. But more to the point, we are all sharing an experience here on this groovy little planet and as much as we sometimes think we are all alone, we are not. Do you remember as a teenager, going through some terribly painful initiation on the path to “growing up,”  and thinking what a freak you were, only to hear something, read something, share your story with a trusted friend, then realize that you weren’t alone? We are not alone. We’ve never been alone.

So are we writing about you? Maybe. But more importantly, does what we write mean something to you? That’s the question. Love, C

My two cents: the Divine in me sees the Divine in you and says: Namaste.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g

just the facts, ma’am

I envy writers who can make things up. JK Rowling? A total goddess. She created a whole world that is so amazing, I wouldn’t even know where to start. And Stephenie Meyer? Genius. When it comes to writing, I am a voyeur. I look at life, see a story that needs telling, and I tell it. Naturally, names are changed to protect the innocent, but at the core, the story is real. It’s true: life is stranger than fiction.

I’ve been writing a short story for three years. What? Yeah, the first year I was thinking about writing it, the second year I wrote it, and the third year, I danced around cutting out what wasn’t working so the gem inside could shine. I know! Seems like a convoluted process, right? I knew it wasn’t working, I knew I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff, but I wasn’t willing to see it. I was still too in love with my own words to be brutally honest with myself about what had to go. Argh!

Until last week. Last week, a friend asked to see the story I was working on, and thusly flattered, I agreed. Then I realized that I couldn’t show him my shambles of a story yet, I needed to polish it up, make it shine a little. Ah, ego! So, I went to my computer and opened the file, looking at it with new eyes –not my eyes –but maybe the eyes of someone who had never read this story, had no history with it, had no expectations. And then I cut. Ruthlessly, and precisely, I cut. I carved away whole sections without thinking, without getting sentimental about how well written that part of my story was. I think I entered into a sort of trance state. When I came out of it, I looked at what I had done, what my story had become. And I was amazed. What previously had been a cluttered, rambling, densely packed collection of bits and pieces had somehow become clean, simple, honest.

So what’s holding you back? What beautiful gem have you got buried beneath a pile of yesterday’s rubble? What part of your ‘story’ are you not being honest with yourself about? Seriously? Nothing is written in stone. Love, C

My two cents: It’s totally okay to let go of what isn’t working.

♥♥♥

I love getting rid of stuff, letting things go. Maybe that’s why I love to move. Starting with a clean slate. But by the same token I can understand the idea of knowing what’s not working yet, something inside says, just keep it you might need it someday. I don’t like when my life is filled with too much stuff, so much clutter that you can’t see the beauty in what you have. Eliminate all that isn’t necessary, isn’t that what a sculptor does? Chip away at a block of stone until he discovers the work of art that lies within?

C and I are kinda just going with the flow regarding writing this blog, flying by the seat of our pants and I am loving it. Not knowing what’s coming next is kind of exciting. We really don’t know what we’re doing but we have created something that has taken on a life of it’s own and we are just letting it play out organically with no attachment to the outcome. Isn’t that how everything should be?

We have been reading and researching all aspects of blogging, posts, plugins, widgets, etc. I read somewhere that blogs should be about a hundred words less that we have been doing. . .okay, sounds good. I know if I stumble on a blog post that drags on and on I tend to pass on it and move onto something requiring a little less committment . So C and I had no problem cutting down our posts, like I said before, we’re just figuring this all out. No ego attached.

I don’t think it was any coincidence that C met this person who might be interested in her story, the story she had been holding on to for three years at almost the precise moment she became okay with editing her story not because she had to, not because someone told her to but because she knew that it would be the best thing for the story and her ego had nothing to do with it. I just love when things work out like that, but don’t things always work out like that? I am seeing more and more that they do. Amazing what happens when you let go of your ego and fears about how things are going to turn out. xo-K

My two cents: Hold on to your dreams, let go of everything else.

how you do anything is how you do everything

One thing = everything? Really? When K first suggested a month or so ago that any one thing  is like a hologram of how your whole life operates, it seemed like an over-simplification. Could it really be that obvious?

Yesterday, I had an adventure that proved the point beautifully. I was headed out to the Oregon wine country to pick up some wine donations for a fundraiser that I’m planning.  Earlier in the week, I came through a bought of the worst flu ever, and by the time Friday rolled around and I was back to work, I needed some work that didn’t feel like work, but would accomplish an important task, nonetheless. So I called a friend, and off we went to Pinot Noir land.

I just have to say, that I am a pretty organized person. I can simultaneously plan several events, manage a series of executive meetings, and write a newsletter while putting out a few fires, all at the same time. That said, however, I am also somewhat of a non-planner. How can this be? I don’t know; I’m a marvel of complexity.

So, there I was, on a mission to collect bottles of wine armed with a list of tasting rooms, a sure-fire GPS system, and a general idea of the territory.  Not long into our little adventure, the GPS started giving seemingly random directions, first telling us to turn left, then make a  series of U Turns. Dear me, I thought. Maybe I should have been a little more prepared. So we headed for the nearest small town on our list and just as I’m thinking, gosh, wouldn’t it be nice to find the local Chamber of Commerce, guess what? The next block up: Bingo! Chamber of Commerce, where the nice lady pulled out a wine country map and helped us find our first donor of the day. Yay!

Several vineyards later, and we are on a long and empty country road searching for a winery. “We should have passed it by now,” my friend said. The GPS wasn’t speaking. “Wait,” I said. “Let me pull over and take a look at the map.”  So I pull off the road onto the dirt shoulder. “What’s the address we’re looking for?” My co-pilot reads the number off the list then points at the address marker posted at the edge of the drive across from where we were parked. “We’re here,” she said. And we were. I had pulled the car over at the exact right spot, “by accident.”

So, based on the truth that inspired this blog, I would have to say that my general approach to anything I do contains equal parts of fact, intuition, luck, and a little Divine guidance. You? Love, C

My two cents: Don’t get so wrapped up in the plan that you can’t be open to spontaneous joy!

♥♥♥

I was watching Oprah a few weeks ago and Geneen Roth, author of Women, Food and God was her guest.  We all know  Oprah has had  issues with food for a very long time so I thought  it would be interesting to see how she responded to the insights Geneen had to share.  How you do anything is how you do everything she said.  At the time Geneen was talking about  how women eat like they do everything else in their lives.  But it also applies to everything else we do in our lives.   Oprah had an Aha moment and so did I.

I‘ve always been a fan of making lists.  What you want in a job, what you want in a home, what you want in a partner.  Negotiable and nonnegotiable, the things  you can’t live without and the things that would be nice but are not deal breakers.

I recently had a friend who was wanting to start a new  relationship, she was trying to get clear so she made herself a list,  one of the biggies on her list was a man who was successful and made a great living.  In other words  she wanted a man who had money. Nothing wrong with that but you have to be specific.   I  reminded my dear friend  that she might want to add a man who is generous.  A wealthy man who is stingy was not what she was looking for. You have to understand someone who is stingy with their money is stingy with their time, their affection, complements, etc., and who wants that?

Stingy is stingy.  How you do anything is how you do everything.

If you are a worrier, you probably worry about everything.  If you are a planner you probably plan out everything from your work schedule to your kid’s soccer games and orthodontist appointments. I really like to be on time.  Rushing and being late is uncomfortable to me so I make it a point to leave myself plenty of time, to do pretty much everything I do. like It’s funny, how it works, even when I have a client who is late getting to the salon I can usually catch up and be right on time for my next client.

Sometimes life seems random but it really is just perfect.  Things work out the way we set them up, even if you don’t realize it at the time.  My daughter, just like C is very organized.  She writes everything down on her calendar.  She sets things up without even thinking about it, so when she needs something it is there just the way she wants it.  It’s not like she decided one day to get organized she just is.  She likes order.  Me on the other hand, I couldn’t  care less.  I don’t write things down, I kinda like to fly  by the seat of my pants.  That feels more comfortable to me.

Is any of this important?  Who knows, but why people do what they do is interesting to me.  We are not all the same, and we don’t have the same quirks.  Instead of trying to change someone, I guess you just have to find people who don’t drive you completely crazy and just let them be.  Just seems easier that way.  xo-K

My two cents:  Know what you want, know who your are, then just roll with it!

liar liar pants on fire

Okay, so there I was, playing nice on a work project with a team, when I realized that one of the team members started giving off some really icky vibes. I didn’t say anything, just kept observing the individual. The weird vibe was consistent. Over time, I knew it was there, and then today: BAM, it all came to a head.

In a way, I was relieved, because it confirmed my intuitive hit: something was off. Now that I think about the situation, I know that there are several more element in play, even though he denies it. Before, I would have tried to engage him about what he was saying, even though I knew he declared I was wrong. Now, I know that there is more going on than meets the eye. I know that there is a nasty little piece of work in play, even though my colleague says there’s nothing more to it.

Oh, please, don’t think that I am all fluffy puppies and moonbeams about all this. Heck no! I got all up in my stuff about it, all defensive, all co-dependent. Sigh. In case you still think that things are just random and circumstances just “happen,” think again. Just as I am going through my little drama, guess who calls? K! So there I am, all off-center, off-balance, SO not in my goddess all-knowing. I needed to vent. And bless her, K listened. See, I so love her about this: sometimes she really calls me on my sh*t, knowing when I can handle it. But this time, she just listened and supported me, told me to stand firm, stand tall.  But most of all, she said, “that’s so 3D, such an illusion. Let’s just think about doing God’s work.” Wow: talk about a shift.

When I get all twisted up, Marianne Williamson has a prayer that gives me comfort and it goes like this: “Dear God, where would you have me serve?”  That pretty much takes the ego out of it, totally deflates the defensiveness. Where would YOU have me serve? Not my sad little ego, my wounded little self, but You who know all things and know better than me why this drama is rising up and grabbing my attention. Still haven’t worked that out yet, but I can tell you I stand in a place of power when I consider the players in this little drama, the hurtful things they say, and know exactly what they do not say.

People lie all the time, and they think no one knows. There is no angel standing by taking notes about our so-called sins, as I was taught in catechism class. No, it’s us. We know. We know when someone is lying to us, deceiving us, saying one thing and thinking another. We are all psychic. We know, if we are only willing to honor our knowing. Love, C

My two cents: Trust your gut. It is never wrong.

♥♥♥

Sometimes this work is just exhausting. . . grrr.  Sometimes it seems like there is no end to it, like what’s the point?  When do things start getting easy?

C texted me earlier today and was not in a good space, I called her a bit later, when I had a color processing  and  she filled me in on the jerk she was dealing with at her office .  She was frustrated, because someone who has no idea what she does or how good she is at her job with trying to tell her how she should be doing it his way and his way of course is better. NOT.  As much as she really didn’t want to hear it in that moment, I told her there was something in it for her.

Whenever something keeps coming up in a similar fashion, there is something we are not getting, and a lot of  times it has to do with us standing up for ourselves, and not going against our gut when we know we are right.  I told C about my experiences with clients who come in and try to tell me how to do my job.  I want my clients to be happy, and they get to pick whatever style or color they want.  I do give my opinion but ultimately it is their hair, their choice.  What they don’t get to pick is how I get the end result.  I am the expert I do things my way, period.  I have learned the hard way that when I let someone sway me to do thing against my better judgment and things don’t turn out well, they are not happy and neither am I.  Then on top of it, if I do what they want and it doesn’t turn out, who’s fault is it in the end? Mine of course.  Seriously?

I decided a few years ago, I have to do what I am good at, do what I think is right, and not let anyone, ever, make me doubt myself.  I am confident in my skills, and abilities and who I am as a person and I am always going to stand up for me.  As much as I would defend a friend, and have their back, I will have my own back.

I have learned to never go against what I believe in,  never let anyone change how I feel about myself as a person,  or change how I do things because I have fear that they won’t love me, approve of me or even that I will lose my job.   I will never again, second guess myself, sell myself short or let anyone’s opinion of me override my opinion of me.  That is my commitment to myself, and I know that if I can hold true to that, everything will just fall into place in my world.  xo-K

My two cents:  Nobody can do you as well as you can.  Remember that. . .everyday.

liar liar pants on fire

Okay, so there I was, playing nice on a work project with a team, when I realized that one of the team members started giving off some really icky vibes. I didn’t say anything, just kept observing the individual. The weird vibe was consistent. Over time, I knew it was there, and then today: BAM, it all came to a head.

In a way, I was relieved, because it confirmed my intuitive hit: something was off. Now that I think about the situation, I know that there are several more elements in play, even though he denies it. Before, I would have tried to engage him about what he was saying, even though I knew he declared I was wrong. Now, I know that there is more going on than meets the eye. I know that there is a nasty little piece of work in play, even though my colleague says there’s nothing more to it.

Oh, please, don’t think that I am all fluffy puppies and moonbeams about all this. Heck no! I got all up in my stuff about it, all defensive, all co-dependent. Sigh. In case you still think that things are just random and circumstances just “happen,” think again. Just as I am going through my little drama, guess who calls? K! So there I am, all off-center, off-balance, SO not in my goddess all-knowing. I needed to vent. And bless her, K listened. See, I so love her about this: sometimes she really calls me on my sh*t, knowing when I can handle it. But this time, she just listened and supported me, told me to stand firm, stand tall.  But most of all, she said, “that’s so 3D, such an illusion. Let’s just think about doing God’s work.” Wow: talk about a shift.

When I get all twisted up, Marianne Williamson has a prayer that gives me comfort and it goes like this: “Dear God, where would you have me serve?”  That pretty much takes the ego out of it, totally deflates the defensiveness. Where would YOU have me serve? Not my sad little ego, my wounded little self, but You who know all things and know better than me why this drama is rising up and grabbing my attention. Still haven’t worked that out yet, but I can tell you I stand in a place of power when I consider the players in this little drama, the hurtful things they say, and know exactly what they do not say.

People lie all the time, and they think no one knows. There is no angel standing by taking notes about our so-called sins, as I was taught in catechism class. No, it’s us. We know. We know when someone is lying to us, deceiving us, saying one thing and thinking another. We are all psychic. We know, if we are only willing to honor our knowing. Love, C

My two cents: Trust your gut. It is never wrong.

♥♥♥

Sometimes this work can seem exhausting.  Sometimes it seems like there is no end to it, like what’s the point?  When do things start getting easier?

C texted me earlier today and was not in a good space, I called her back when I had a color processing  and  she filled me in on the jerk she was dealing with at her office .  She was frustrated, because someone who has no idea what she does or how good she is at her job with trying to tell her how she should be doing it his way and his way was much better than her way and in his mind the only way. NOT.  As much as she really didn’t want to hear it in that moment, I told her there was something there for her.

Whenever something keeps coming up in a similar fashion, there is something we are not getting, maybe it’s a sign it’s  time to move on from the situation, or maybe it’s about standing up for yourself, and not going against your gut when you know you’re right.  Whatever it is, if something is rubbing you wrong and it just feels icky, know that there is a lesson lurking and a potential for growth there for you.

I told C about my experiences with clients who come in and try to tell me how to do my job.  I want my clients to be happy, and they get to pick whatever style or color they want.  I do give my opinion but ultimately it is their hair, their choice.  What they don’t get to pick is how I get the end result.  I am the expert I do things my way, period.  I have learned the hard way that when I let someone sway me to do thing against my better judgment things don’t turn out well, and then they aren’t happy and neither am I.  Then on top of it, if I do what they want and it doesn’t turn out, who’s fault is it in the end? Mine of course.  Seriously?

I decided a few years ago, I have to do what I am good at, do what I think is right, and not let anyone, ever, make me doubt myself.  I am confident in my skills, and abilities and who I am as a person and I am always going to stand up for me.  As much as I would defend a friend, and have their back, I will have my own back.

I have learned to never go against what I believe in,  never let anyone change how I feel about myself as a person, or change how I do things because I fear  someone won’t love me, approve of me, or that they will leave me .   I will never again, second guess myself, sell myself short or let anyone’s opinion of me override my opinion of me.  That is my commitment to myself, and I know that if I  hold true to that, everything will just fall into place in my world.  xo-K

My two cents:  Nobody can do YOU as well as you can.  Remember that…everyday.

how do you know when it’s time to go

Have you ever had a big break-up and upon reflection knew “the signs were there all along”? That’s the truth. The signs were always there, and I just didn’t want to see them — or more accurately, feel them.

How about instead of numbing ourselves to our feelings, we learn to get in touch with them? How about we train ourselves to know when it’s time to go by recognizing when we’ve  “hit the ick”?  I know I hit the ick when I get that “off” feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one I’d rather ignore but I’m so smart and so in control. Seriously?

How do you know what your personal warning sign feels like? Try this: think of a time when you were really happy. Now, locate where you feel that in your body. Got it? Now think of a time when you felt really bad, maybe even deceived. Where do you feel it in your body? That’s the ick. That’s your personal early warning system.

So, let’s say you’re sitting across a candlelit table from fabulous Mr. Current Candidate, having a jolly time telling stories and eating great food, then he says “that thing” and a small alarm goes off in your head and your stomach drops like you just flew into a patch of turbulence, and you know it: you hit the ick. At first, you’ll want to dismiss it. At first, you’ll want to say, but he’s so cute. And he drives the right car, and OMG, I haven’t had a date in centuries.

The signs that pop up initially are small. Easy to ignore or justify away. “He didn’t really mean that.” Or “I’m just too sensitive.” But that isn’t it. Your inner navigation system just hit a patch of ick, and it’s a free-will zone, so you’re free to ignore it. Free to rush blithely ahead toward the romance zone because after all, that’s the destination isn’t it? Or is the destination Peace, Harmony, Well-being?

I’ve never been sorry when I followed my intuition. I have been a whole lotta bummed when I ignored the early warning signs. It’s okay.  You’re free to ignore the signs of your soul trying to get your attention. You’re free to try to make a six into a ten. Don’t worry, the signs will get bigger until you can’t ignore them anymore. Personally, I’m done getting smacked with the cosmic two-by-four! I’m not perfect, but I’m getting better at  recognizing when my soul is trying to get my attention. And my soul wants me to have my perfect partner.

Life is supposed to be fun! Learning new things is a game! Making getting to know when you hit the ick a priority, and pretty soon you’ll be a master. Then, you’ll no longer ask how do you know when it’s time to go. You’ll have it down.  Love-C

My two cents: The universe is always conspiring to give you what you want.

***

Well isn’t that the $64,000 question?  They say you know when you know, but I say you know a lot sooner.

Ask your friends, they know.  If you don’t recall when your relationship went from “OMG this could be The One” to the “ick”, ask your friends.   You know which friends I’m talking about, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who want you to be happy, the ones who truly want you to have what you want.  Not people you know, but your friends.  The ones who have been on the other end of the phone, for hours on end at all times of day or night listening to you go at it ever since you entered the “ick”.  If you get to the point where you can draw a line down a piece of paper to list the pros and cons of your relationship, you’re in the “ick”. You don’t have to do this with The One, you just know. Change any of your beliefs? “ick”. Justifying? “ick”. Sacrificing? “ick”, settling… oh hell no!

I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. Some are here for the big lessons, you know the who they are, they come in and BAM,  in that moment, or week, month or 10 years they are The One.  Some are what I call “fillers”.  Fun, cute, sexy, just something to do, but you know they are just there to roll around with till The One comes along.  But if it is a “lesson” guy they do feel like The One and they ARE until you get the lesson and then guess what, now they aren’t, time to move on.

I know, I know, you don’t want to, you want it to stay, just like it was forever. Sorry sweetie, it can’t.  Once you have gotten from this guy what he came to teach you, it is time to take what you learned and move on and if you don’t,  it seems to all go to hell in a handbasket.

That is when the scramble starts.  And you know exactly what I mean by the scramble, don’t you? You reflect back to when it started to feel weird, he seemed different or maybe it was you.  You start to doubt yourself (did I say something or do something to upset him?).  Many nights of sleep are lost, wracking your brain about what possibly could  have happened.  When you exhaust yourself  or make yourself absolutely crazy you call on the troops, you enlist your girls to help you to try to figure out what you did and how you can get it back to the way it was before.  Guess what: you can’t. You hit the “ick”, party’s over. Lesson learned.  Sorry girl.  Time to move on.  xo-K

My two cents:  Exit before it gets ugly, keep him as a friend, or not and remember you only need one, “ONE”.