you probably think this blog is about you

Everyone loves Two Girls!!  I am shocked, amazed, awestruck, amused and most of all grateful.  C and I have always written from the heart, and we usually write about what is happening. . . right now.  That being said, everyone who comes in contact with us is potentially Two Girls material.  As much as we try to mix it up, people might come to the conclusion that  we are talking about them in our blog.  This has happen to me on more than one occasion.

Sometimes we talk about dating and relationships, and C, who btw,  in the past hadn’t  shared much of her personal info when she is dating someone new, is now much more open and lets  her dates know who she is and what she does, including the fact that she writes a blog. This is great, but sometimes  I think, don’t tell them… I want to write about them and now they will totally know we’re talking about them. That being said we  have to be a bit creative when we are telling our story as to not incriminate or hurt feelings.

I have heard from quite a few friends and fans of Two Girls when a post really resonated with them, that they were going through something and then read our most recent post and it was about just the thing they were working through.  I love when that happens.  See: we are all more alike than we are different.

We all want to love and be loved.  We all want health and prosperity for ourselves, our family, and our friends.  We have all dealt with heartache, loss, and disappointment. We have all been afraid.  Lost a job or a loved one.  Or maybe just had a crappy day.  Oh, and don’t get me started on Mercury Retrograde.  We all just want to be happy and have a joy filled life.

September has been a hard month.  There’s a lot going on energetically, it is a great time for releasing, so when stuff comes up for you (and it will), make sure you have someone to work through it with.  Oh, and if you want to be part of  Two Girls, we’d love to have you.  Leave us a comment. Maybe you have something to share that would be beneficial for others to hear.  xo-K

My two cents:  If you think this blog is about you, it is probably for you.

♥♥♥

Yeah, K and I have been working on these principles for a while.  We talk about this stuff for hours.  As time goes by it’s become more and more clear that: a) we’re kinda getting better at it even though we have a ways to go, and b) we  totally see these principles at work in our lives and the lives of those around us. Cool!

It’s so true: we need each other. Not just me and K — all of us. We need each other! Not just for sex and safety and survival, and all that primal stuff. We need each other so that we can see each other, see our own Divine spark reflected back in someone’s eyes.  My blog partner and I are mirrors for each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. . .and then we blog about it.

Yeah, if you know us, chances are that you’ll show up on the “pages” of Two Girls. Not that you will recognize yourself, because that would just not be fair. When we have written about someone without disguise, they knew about it ahead of time and agreed to it.   I have already gone on record that as a writer, my style could be called voyeur. I watch. I watch people, I observe the world.  And then I tell stories.  I know for me, the best part of camping is certainly not the bugs and the dirt . . .it’s the stories around the campfire. Well, the stories and the s’mores and the stars above.

If you think that you see yourself in one of our stories, rest assured you’re not the only one. Are we psychic? Well yeah, sure. But more to the point, we are all sharing an experience here on this groovy little planet and as much as we sometimes think we are all alone, we are not. Do you remember as a teenager, going through some terribly painful initiation on the path to “growing up,”  and thinking what a freak you were, only to hear something, read something, share your story with a trusted friend, then realize that you weren’t alone? We are not alone. We’ve never been alone.

So are we writing about you? Maybe. But more importantly, does what we write mean something to you? That’s the question. Love, C

My two cents: the Divine in me sees the Divine in you and says: Namaste.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g

how you do anything is how you do everything

One thing = everything? Really? When K first suggested a month or so ago that any one thing  is like a hologram of how your whole life operates, it seemed like an over-simplification. Could it really be that obvious?

Yesterday, I had an adventure that proved the point beautifully. I was headed out to the Oregon wine country to pick up some wine donations for a fundraiser that I’m planning.  Earlier in the week, I came through a bought of the worst flu ever, and by the time Friday rolled around and I was back to work, I needed some work that didn’t feel like work, but would accomplish an important task, nonetheless. So I called a friend, and off we went to Pinot Noir land.

I just have to say, that I am a pretty organized person. I can simultaneously plan several events, manage a series of executive meetings, and write a newsletter while putting out a few fires, all at the same time. That said, however, I am also somewhat of a non-planner. How can this be? I don’t know; I’m a marvel of complexity.

So, there I was, on a mission to collect bottles of wine armed with a list of tasting rooms, a sure-fire GPS system, and a general idea of the territory.  Not long into our little adventure, the GPS started giving seemingly random directions, first telling us to turn left, then make a  series of U Turns. Dear me, I thought. Maybe I should have been a little more prepared. So we headed for the nearest small town on our list and just as I’m thinking, gosh, wouldn’t it be nice to find the local Chamber of Commerce, guess what? The next block up: Bingo! Chamber of Commerce, where the nice lady pulled out a wine country map and helped us find our first donor of the day. Yay!

Several vineyards later, and we are on a long and empty country road searching for a winery. “We should have passed it by now,” my friend said. The GPS wasn’t speaking. “Wait,” I said. “Let me pull over and take a look at the map.”  So I pull off the road onto the dirt shoulder. “What’s the address we’re looking for?” My co-pilot reads the number off the list then points at the address marker posted at the edge of the drive across from where we were parked. “We’re here,” she said. And we were. I had pulled the car over at the exact right spot, “by accident.”

So, based on the truth that inspired this blog, I would have to say that my general approach to anything I do contains equal parts of fact, intuition, luck, and a little Divine guidance. You? Love, C

My two cents: Don’t get so wrapped up in the plan that you can’t be open to spontaneous joy!

♥♥♥

I was watching Oprah a few weeks ago and Geneen Roth, author of Women, Food and God was her guest.  We all know  Oprah has had  issues with food for a very long time so I thought  it would be interesting to see how she responded to the insights Geneen had to share.  How you do anything is how you do everything she said.  At the time Geneen was talking about  how women eat like they do everything else in their lives.  But it also applies to everything else we do in our lives.   Oprah had an Aha moment and so did I.

I‘ve always been a fan of making lists.  What you want in a job, what you want in a home, what you want in a partner.  Negotiable and nonnegotiable, the things  you can’t live without and the things that would be nice but are not deal breakers.

I recently had a friend who was wanting to start a new  relationship, she was trying to get clear so she made herself a list,  one of the biggies on her list was a man who was successful and made a great living.  In other words  she wanted a man who had money. Nothing wrong with that but you have to be specific.   I  reminded my dear friend  that she might want to add a man who is generous.  A wealthy man who is stingy was not what she was looking for. You have to understand someone who is stingy with their money is stingy with their time, their affection, complements, etc., and who wants that?

Stingy is stingy.  How you do anything is how you do everything.

If you are a worrier, you probably worry about everything.  If you are a planner you probably plan out everything from your work schedule to your kid’s soccer games and orthodontist appointments. I really like to be on time.  Rushing and being late is uncomfortable to me so I make it a point to leave myself plenty of time, to do pretty much everything I do. like It’s funny, how it works, even when I have a client who is late getting to the salon I can usually catch up and be right on time for my next client.

Sometimes life seems random but it really is just perfect.  Things work out the way we set them up, even if you don’t realize it at the time.  My daughter, just like C is very organized.  She writes everything down on her calendar.  She sets things up without even thinking about it, so when she needs something it is there just the way she wants it.  It’s not like she decided one day to get organized she just is.  She likes order.  Me on the other hand, I couldn’t  care less.  I don’t write things down, I kinda like to fly  by the seat of my pants.  That feels more comfortable to me.

Is any of this important?  Who knows, but why people do what they do is interesting to me.  We are not all the same, and we don’t have the same quirks.  Instead of trying to change someone, I guess you just have to find people who don’t drive you completely crazy and just let them be.  Just seems easier that way.  xo-K

My two cents:  Know what you want, know who your are, then just roll with it!

chasing approval

I just got back from an Abraham-Hicks workshop and I swear, I’m still dancing on clouds.  If you’re an Abraham fan, you know what I mean: Esther Hicks is a rock star! So anyway, I got there early because K and I have developed a plan for the Abraham show: get there early, stake out a good seat close enough to the front to have an unobstructed view of the unfolding program, dash out for a coffee or CD, return in time for the main event.

So I got there early, saved a seat, then went out to cruise the bookstore goodies before settling in. When I got back , I discovered someone in my chair. “Hey,” I said. You’re in my seat.” He’d even moved the bag I’d left to mark my spot.  Well, he swore it was his seat, even though when I staked it out, it was just a naked chair. Whatever. While he went into a long story about how his partner had saved the seat and had put a book down on one chair (not both, mind you) apologizing, justifying, etc., I could have got into it with him, but the room was starting to fill up now, and good spots were getting snapped up. I started looking for around. Hey! I’ve “saved” plenty of lecture seats, and never had one swiped out from under me and I wasn’t about to let it spoil the mood. And what do you know? There was a seat in the very next row, which I took. Meanwhile, the seat thief was trying to convince me to give him forgiveness, love and approval. Yeah, I wasn’t in the mood.

So it makes it even more interesting that my row-mate and I started talking about Byron Katie. I explained to her the situation at my work that had me off-center, and I was really glad to be at the workshop. She casually mentioned, “There are three things people chase and can never have if they are chasing them: love, appreciation, approval.” This really stopped me in my tracks.

Approval was what I was trying to elicit from my co-worker, and the more I tried to prove I was worth it, the more unwilling to give it he became.  In turn, I had done something similar to the seat thief.  A mistake was made, and even though he wasn’t about to give up his seat to me, he still kept talking, wanting my forgiveness, my approval. How many times have you known someone who had a difficult relationship with their mom or dad, and did everything they could, including building careers, having babies, chasing fame, just to please a parent who was never going to offer their approval, no matter what happened? They could spin on their head in a sequined tutu, and it would never be good enough. We’ve all known someone desperate for love: it puts off a vibe so unpleasant, it actually pushes people away. So sad! It all comes down to energy and what you will do to get it. Love, C

My two cents: approve of yourself; it’s all the approval you need!

♥♥♥

I talked to C when she returned from the Abraham workshop and she really was dancing on clouds.  If you have never been to a workshop I highly recommend it.  I am going to see them in SF next weekend and I can hardly wait, there really is nothing like it.  Being in a room with 400+ like-minded people is such a high.  It’s like having front row tickets to your favorite concert, the energy in the room is that big.

Approval has been something that has been coming up a lot lately. Why do we worry so much about what others think of us?  Does everyone really need to love us and think we are great?  Really?  Why do we go out of our minds when someone is mad at us?  Why do we feel the need to change someone’s mind if they don’t agree with us?  Does someone always have to be wrong so we can be right?  Just askin’. . . .

I used to be such a people pleaser, I really would be out of my mind if someone didn’t like me.  Not a healthy place to be.  I used to worry a lot, run conversations over and over in my head until I would come up with the perfect way to say something to someone where I could get my point across without giving them any reason to be mad at me.  And we all know how that goes, it’s nearly impossible.  If there was any way I could avoid confrontation, I would do it, even if it was detrimental to me.

I think things really started to change when I became a mother.  The only thing that really mattered to me was my daughter.  If I needed to stand up to a teacher or someone who had something to do with my kid, I had no problem doing it.  The more I practiced  the better I got at it.  It didn’t need to be dramatic, I just started to speak my peace without worrying what others thought of me.  Wow, it felt so good, I wondered, what took me so long to get to this place and what was I so afraid of?

I think growing up with a critical and judgmental parent has a big part in wanting approval, but like C said earlier, there are some people who are never going to approve of you.  I finally got that, as much as I hope people like me and think I am a good person.  I know that the only thing that is really important is that I live my life with integrity, do what I think is best for me and approve of myself. xo-K

My two cents:  There is no way you will ever get everyone’s approval, and even if you could it doesn’t matter.

mambo mama

I love summertime! Okay, so there I was this morning, lolling around in my fluffy yummy bed, appreciating the fact that it was Saturday, which meant I was free to sleep in if I wanted. Yes! Then I looked at the clock and realized that if I was going to take a morning walk I’d better get on it so I jumped up, got dressed and ready to go.

I’m so lucky! I live in a pretty little condo on a ribbon of river, a beautiful body of water that always provides a new view.  One of my favorite ways to get out and take advantage of the view and to get out and move my energetic body, is to take a morning walk along the river. For a while there, I was a complete potato. No exercise baby! And then suddenly the weather got good and I was excited about working out. Does that ever happen to you?  Suddenly, I’m getting up in the morning and doing yoga before work. With the longer days, I’ll sometimes come home at the end of the day and hop on my bike for a spin around the island. Yay! Wait. Who is this maniac who is suddenly so about the work out? Who cares! We love her!

So anyway, I live on the water, next to a beautiful yacht harbor, which btw,  is a great manifestation workshop, to look at all of those beautiful boats and going ‘good for you and that’s for me. . . .’  I love to walk around the harbor on weekend mornings when the  sun is just coming up and the air is sweet. I always feel great when I get out there and start appreciating the dazzling flowers, beautiful boats, the wildlife that is also attracted to this special spot.

I like to take my ipod with me on these morning jaunts, it provides me with a soundtrack to keep me ultra-inspired. So there I am this morning, half-way through the harbor loop, when the Mambo Kings come on. Normally, I skip theses guys and go straight for the Abraham or Barefoot Doctor inspirational messages, but somehow this morning, the Mambo Kings are perfect.  So there I am, singing along to the music, doing a little salsa shuffle as I pass million dollar homes and perfectly polished yachts bobbing on the placid water. I am so in my zone! I don’t care who sees me, what they may think. I am enjoying the moment so fully, I am so completely in my joy that I feel illuminated. That feeling has stayed with me all day, and all I can say is, life is good! Love, C

My two cents: sometimes it’s worth looking like a fool just to get to your happy place~

♥♥♥

It feels good to feel good, and I say get there anyway you can.  If it means skipping down the walking path for all world to see do it, who cares. . . actually people do care, they see you in joy and they feel good too.  Feeling good is contagious so go for it, and when it’s beautiful outside, I feel like, how much better can it get?!

I absolutely love how I feel in the summer, I am definitely a warm weather girl.  I kinda hibernate when the weather is cold but man do I love being out and about when summer hits and the sun is shining.  I want to go places and do things, move my body and be outside.  I, like C have been a bit of a potato, regarding exercise.  After standing all day, the last thing I felt like doing was moving my feet.  But it is amazing after my long hiatus with exercise how great it feels almost immediately once you pick it up again. As much as I know it’s doing great things for my muscles, I think it is doing  much more for my head.

Like meditation, and I know  a lot of people don’t know how to meditate or just can’t seem to quiet their mind, exercise can get you to the same place.  When you are taking in all that oxygen, moving your body, you are in the zone, in the Vortex.  You meditate to release resistance, exercise does the same thing, and  that is where inspiration lives.  I can’t tell you how many times in the last few weeks when I’ve been working on a problem or even wondering what to blog about and I get on the elliptical machine or go out for a walk and BAM, there it is, divine inspiration. It’s like opening up a wonderful treasure chest full of everything you need, answers to questions, solutions to problems. Great ideas just seem to occur to you, when you get to a good feeling place, you are inspired.

Life really is good and things really do always work out for you so enjoy your life.  When you wake up in the morning, before you jump out of bed, take a few minutes to appreciate all the good things in  your life.  Do some yoga, go to the gym, go outside for a quick walk before work or just put on some great music and boogie around your house. It’s amazing how when you start your day like that the day just seems to flow, and you will have more great days than not.

My daughter and I have a thing,  whenever we go on vacation we speak with different accents, especially when we are in taxis.  We started  a few years ago and it’s hilarious. We are terrible at it but it’s fun and we don’t care what other people think. I know it is something we will always remember.  Ahhh, good times. xo-K

My two cents:  Do whatever it takes to feel good.  Move your body, sing, dance, be silly. . .enjoy.

i will remember you

I once knew a photographer, an amazing and talented  man.  D had a wildly eclectic collection of friends, and I am glad to have been counted as one.  I had just run away (sort of) to California, and he was living next door to a pal from the hot air balloon crowd I ran with. He was living with his children in a sprawling ranch-style home in the wine country and hosting impromptu summertime pool parties when I met him. His wife had high tailed it back to San Francisco, but D was happiest in the country. He was a rogue, a ladies man, and though I always enjoyed his company, I never enjoyed it like that. Not that he didn’t try: I was always swatting his hand away from my girl parts. I never took it personally, and neither did he.

After a while, D’s kids grew up, and he remarried. We remained friends. While I was never close to his second wife, we were friendly, connected by our affection to charming,  lovable, dapper, D. My friend was old school. He grew up in Austria, and his family fled the Nazis. Soldiers actually visited his family home one night, took his father out and roughed him up. Soon after, the family fled Austria Von Trapp family style: over the Alps. They eventually landed in San Francisco, and then migrated up to wine country. D never lost his old world charm. He was a speaker of languages, a lover of life.

About ten years ago, his memory started to go. First it was little things like appointments, grocery lists, the exact location of car keys. Then it got gradually worse. Finally, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. There was a period of time when he would call me every week. “C,” he said. “We miss you! Please come visit!” I agreed. “Of course I’ll come,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.” And I did come. We had lunch and a visit. Somewhere along the line, he stopped making grabs for my girl parts, and it was kind of sad. I knew he was slipping away.  The calls continued. Weekly. “C! It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. We miss you! Please come visit!” Yes, yes, I said. I didn’t feel too bad about not visiting as often because I realized he didn’t remember when I did.

Finally, the last time I visited with them, I happened to be in the town where they live and dropped by. This had always been our custom: drop by when you can. Visit. Have a glass of wine, share stories. This time, Wife Deux was very glad to see me. “D, look! It’s C!” she said. “Say hello!” she said. Charming and sweet as ever, D politely kissed my cheek and said hello. He hadn’t a clue who I was.

Abraham says that people like D are living in two worlds. Part of them have re-emerged with Source and are well and happy and content, while part of them remain here fulfilling a promise, not quite yet ready to go. Even though D can’t remember me, I remember him with enough love and gratitude for both of us. Love, C

My two cents: The love you share exists. Always.

♥♥♥

Ahhh, I remember D, he was a scoundrel, a flirt, a real ladies man.  I don’t think that guy could look at you without making you feel like a million bucks.  He sure did know how to appreciate a lady.  I cut his hair for years, and when his memory started to go, and he started just showing up at random times, I took care of him anyway.  I haven’t seen him in years, but I think of him often.  He was old school, he look like an old movie star but a little more rugged, with a heart of gold.

He lived about forty minutes away from the salon so in the last year or so that I saw him I was always a little surprised to see him.  He always tried to make it down for a haircut.  I’m sure he could have gotten his hair cut five minutes from his house, but no; he would always try to make it in to see me.  Sometimes he would schedule an appointment and not show up. That always worried me.  I didn’t really like him driving that far, it made me nervous that he might lose his way or get into trouble, but then I figured he had his angels with him and if he lost his way they would take over and get him where he needed to be.

Who knows why some people end up without memories of the past?  Maybe when you are half in this world and half in another it’s not important to reflect back.  Maybe he was ready to go before others were ready to let him go, it’s hard to live without someone who has been such a huge presence in your life.  I guess that’s why we have memories while we’re still  here, so it’s a little easier to let someone go when it’s their time and we can always have them in our hearts.  Love to you D.  xo-K

My two cents:  True love never dies.

if you can’t say something nice…

I used to have a friend, a novelist, who would often complain about her books, her publisher, her agent. As an aspiring writer, I found this to be really painful to listen to. I thought to myself if only I had a publisher, an agent, a string of books, I would be the happiest girl on the planet! But then I realized that my friend complained about her success (in part) so that  other people wouldn’t envy her, resent her. It was like she cast a spell of unhappiness around herself to protect herself. Clever!

There seems to be a prevailing belief that to claim happiness is to jinx it. What? It’s true.  Why do we do that? Why, when someone compliments us on the snappy little outfit we’re wearing, we say, “Oh, this old thing?” We’re used to telling lies. We’re trained from early on to say things that are not true in order to please someone else.  We do it all the time.

One of the weird ways people socialize is to complain. It goes like this: someone complains about something, maybe their mean boss. The next person has a worse story, the list of complaints grow, get worse, expand, and the next thing you know, someone is working for witchy Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada.  It’s an epidemic! People seem to really love the rush they get from topping the last bad story with something even worse. Why do we do that?

My mother used to drive me crazy when she said, “if you can’t say something nice to your brother, don’t say anything at all.”  I thought she was nuts.  My brother was the torment of my childhood. Although my mother was just trying to mold me into a polite little lady, there was really a deeper truth at work. Language isn’t simply about telling stories. Thoughts are things. Words are magic.

When you realize the words you say create the world you live in, you start to watch what you say. If you really get serious about it, you start to monitor your thoughts. How in the world can I manage my thoughts, you say, there are thousands of them a day! Exactly. There are thousands of them a day, and they are mostly just a string of the same thoughts playing over and over again on a loop. When you start to monitor the things you say because you know you create your world by your words, you start to say nicer things. You start saying nicer things to other people and best of all, you start saying nicer things to yourself.

Affirmations aren’t just fluffy little words we spread around like pink icing on cupcakes. Affirmations are how we start telling a better (truer) story about ourselves and our world. And isn’t that what we really want? Love, C

My two cents: start saying one nice thing to yourself in the mirror everyday and see what kind of magic you can make!

♥♥♥

What if someone told you that everything you said, every word out of your mouth especially if you repeated it over and over would come true?  Would you be more careful what you said?  I have been really aware of what I think and what I say lately  and I know it’s hard not to notice “what is.”

There are so many things going on out there that are true.  So many things to look at; things that make you feel good and things that make you feel terrible.  Why does it seem that the icky stuff  is so much easier to focus on?  Do we really think we will jinx something if we affirm it?  Some people don’t want to think or expect anything good because they don’t want to be disappointed.  Really? If you believe things always work out the way they are supposed to –and they do, by the way –then I say why not dream big.

I got the idea for this post after sitting down by the pool  in my building. I touched on it a bit in the last post turn it around. One of my neighbors was on her cell phone going on and on about how crappy her life was, complaining about some issue she was having with Comcast and AT&T. Seriously? You’re sitting by a beautiful pool on a beautiful summer day in beautiful wine country, and you’re complaining about your internet provider?  My daughter and I were lounging nearby, totally present in the moment, totally enjoying where we were, sitting in one of the top vacation destinations in the world, and we get to live here.

It really made me think, what if we just enjoyed right where we are, in the moment, and looked around for things to appreciate, things to love, and milked them for all they were worth?  What if we complimented instead of complained?  What if when someone complimented us we just said, “thank you,” instead of trying to talk them out of their admiration and appreciation of us?  What if we didn’t have something nice to say about ourselves, someone else or a dilemma we are dealing with we just shut the hell up?  I don’t know about you but looking at problems and talking about them incessantly is getting really old.  It doesn’t help anything AND it doesn’t feel good, in case it matters.

Last year C, got a purple rubber bracelet from an organization, A Complaint Free World. The idea was to wear the bracelet on one wrist for 30 days. The catch: you could only keep the bracelet on that wrist if you did not let one complaint pass your lips. If it did, you had to switch wrists.  At first, you might move the band two or three times a day. Eventually,  you might keep in on a whole day . . .or even a whole week!  Imagine a whole month.  Give it a try, you’ll be amazed how many times you notice yourself being negative and once you notice, you can make a conscious effort to change the way you see things and what you say about them.  xo-K

My two cents:  Consciously turn whatever you say into a positive and if you can’t, don’t say anything at all.

if you can't say something nice…

I used to have a friend, a novelist, who would often complain about her books, her publisher, her agent. As an aspiring writer, I found this to be really painful to listen to. I thought to myself if only I had a publisher, an agent, a string of books, I would be the happiest girl on the planet! But then I realized that my friend complained about her success (in part) so that  other people wouldn’t envy her, resent her. It was like she cast a spell of unhappiness around herself to protect herself. Clever!

There seems to be a prevailing belief that to claim happiness is to jinx it. What? It’s true.  Why do we do that? Why, when someone compliments us on the snappy little outfit we’re wearing, we say, “Oh, this old thing?” We’re used to telling lies. We’re trained from early on to say things that are not true in order to please someone else.  We do it all the time.

One of the weird ways people socialize is to complain. It goes like this: someone complains about something, maybe their mean boss. The next person has a worse story, the list of complaints grow, get worse, expand, and the next thing you know, someone is working for witchy Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada.  It’s an epidemic! People seem to really love the rush they get from topping the last bad story with something even worse. Why do we do that?

My mother used to drive me crazy when she said, “if you can’t say something nice to your brother, don’t say anything at all.”  I thought she was nuts.  My brother was the torment of my childhood. Although my mother was just trying to mold me into a polite little lady, there was really a deeper truth at work. Language isn’t simply about telling stories. Thoughts are things. Words are magic.

When you realize the words you say create the world you live in, you start to watch what you say. If you really get serious about it, you start to monitor your thoughts. How in the world can I manage my thoughts, you say, there are thousands of them a day! Exactly. There are thousands of them a day, and they are mostly just a string of the same thoughts playing over and over again on a loop. When you start to monitor the things you say because you know you create your world by your words, you start to say nicer things. You start saying nicer things to other people and best of all, you start saying nicer things to yourself.

Affirmations aren’t just fluffy little words we spread around like pink icing on cupcakes. Affirmations are how we start telling a better (truer) story about ourselves and our world. And isn’t that what we really want? Love, C

My two cents: start saying one nice thing to yourself in the mirror everyday and see what kind of magic you can make!

♥♥♥

What if someone told you that everything you said, every word out of your mouth especially if you repeated it over and over would come true?  Would you be more careful what you said?  I have been really aware of what I think and what I say lately  and I know it’s hard not to notice “what is.”

There are so many things going on out there that are true.  So many things to look at; things that make you feel good and things that make you feel terrible.  Why does it seem that the icky stuff  is so much easier to focus on?  Do we really think we will jinx something if we affirm it?  Some people don’t want to think or expect anything good because they don’t want to be disappointed.  Really? If you believe things always work out the way they are supposed to –and they do, by the way –then I say why not dream big.

I got the idea for this post after sitting down by the pool  in my building. I touched on it a bit in the last post turn it around. One of my neighbors was on her cell phone going on and on about how crappy her life was, complaining about some issue she was having with Comcast and AT&T. Seriously? You’re sitting by a beautiful pool on a beautiful summer day in beautiful wine country, and you’re complaining about your internet provider?  My daughter and I were lounging nearby, totally present in the moment, totally enjoying where we were, sitting in one of the top vacation destinations in the world, and we get to live here.

It really made me think, what if we just enjoyed right where we are, in the moment, and looked around for things to appreciate, things to love, and milked them for all they were worth?  What if we complimented instead of complained?  What if when someone complimented us we just said, “thank you,” instead of trying to talk them out of their admiration and appreciation of us?  What if we didn’t have something nice to say about ourselves, someone else or a dilemma we are dealing with we just shut the hell up?  I don’t know about you but looking at problems and talking about them incessantly is getting really old.  It doesn’t help anything AND it doesn’t feel good, in case it matters.

Last year C, got a purple rubber bracelet from an organization, A Complaint Free World. The idea was to wear the bracelet on one wrist for 30 days. The catch: you could only keep the bracelet on that wrist if you did not let one complaint pass your lips. If it did, you had to switch wrists.  At first, you might move the band two or three times a day. Eventually,  you might keep in on a whole day . . .or even a whole week!  Imagine a whole month.  Give it a try, you’ll be amazed how many times you notice yourself being negative and once you notice, you can make a conscious effort to change the way you see things and what you say about them.  xo-K

My two cents:  Consciously turn whatever you say into a positive and if you can’t, don’t say anything at all.

turn it around

You know, we Two Girls aren’t just handing out advice here like Lifesaver candies on a road trip. We’re actually doing the work, talking about it between ourselves, chatting about it some more, and then putting it out there for all to read. Fun!

One of the best tools I’ve found lately is the Turn-Around.  It’s a Readers Digest Condensed version of Byron Katie’s work, which involves a series of questions.  Katie’s work is amazing stuff. I’ve heard about it for years, and I guess I just wasn’t ready to hear it, because I only just recently picked up her book. You know how that is, right? Someone tells you about a great self-help book, and you listen to interviews, read reviews, dance all around it, but don’t actually do the actual work because that’s too scary, right? Oh, wait. Maybe that’s just me. . . .

Anyway, so Katie has this process that involves focusing on something that pushes every hot button you’ve got. And that’s where the work begins. Like a grandma, Katie says, “okay sweetheart, let’s begin.” Seems safe enough to talk to Grandma, right?

The trouble with the work for me, is that it involves a series of logical and armor-piercing questions. But when I’m in the middle of my drama, the last thing I want to do is sit down and run myself through a list of questions. So I’ve figured out a shortcut. I go right to the apex of Katie’s work: the turnaround. The turnaround works like this: whatever it is you’re blaming the other person for, you turn it around and own it. “She’s so selfish!” becomes “I am so selfish!”  Projections like “He never supports what is important to me” become “I don’t support what is important to me.”

It seems kind of crazy, but it works. When you reject a part of yourself, your little inner goddess finds it too painful to bear, and so you project it onto someone else, blame someone else. I’m not bad. . .you’re bad! It seems to fix the problem, but the problem never really goes away until you deal with it.

I recently had the chance to work this out with a co-worker who bailed on an important project just a couple of hours before I had to present it to the board of directors. I started to stew. “She’s so irresponsible!” I said to myself, feeling justified. And then I stopped, took a breath, and turned it around. “Wait,” I said to myself. “I’m so irresponsible.” It wasn’t until I said that, that I realized where I had let the project down, I hadn’t given it my best.  I immediately felt better. And you know what? My co-worker who had called in sick showed up at the office, completed her part of the project, and then went home again.

This stuff isn’t always fun, and it isn’t always pretty, but it works if you’re willing to work it! Love, C

My two cents: The world is just a mirror of our thoughts, showing us the places we still need to heal.

♥♥♥

Like I said before I haven’t read Byron Katie’s book yet but I guess since it keeps coming up, (thanks C), I better get on it. But I have been noticing the same things in my own life C is talking about.  I love how that works.

All the things that bother you, or things you simply notice are clues for you, like a cosmic treasure hunt, guiding you along your path to higher consciousness.  I have become really aware when I notice something that  someone else is doing and it really annoys me, that there is a lesson in there for me.  There is something around it that I need to work on  and instead of it just being annoyed by it, I am starting to see it as a gift.

This is new to me so I am still bumbling around with it but you have no idea how cool it is when you get to the point that no matter what is happening out there you are still okay. Or better than okay because you really get that everything that gets your attention, that you are noticing is for your benefit.

One of the things that can stress me out and get my panties in a bunch are red lights.  Sounds so silly and unimportant but don’t most people get the craziest about the simplest things.  I get irritated when I am running late for work and I hit every red light, is someone watching me and pushing a button turning those stupid lights red as I pull up?  Of course not but doesn’t it feel like that sometimes?  Grrrr.

I now know that red lights only bother me when I am running late.  The light is the same, my reaction to them is different depending on what I am doing.  If I leave the house with plenty of time I have no issue with sitting at a stoplight. And let’s face it, don’t you sometimes hope you hit a red light  because you need to look at directions or apply your lipstick ?  Just sayin’.

You can apply this way of thinking to pretty much any issue, big or small.  It’s easier to start with something seemingly small and unimportant, but sometimes those are the ones you have to biggest problem with.  Do you really care if the waitress or someone you don’t know or care about is rude to you?  Does it really matter if an anonymous driver speeds up to cut in front of you on the freeway?  Really?

Last week my daughter and I were relaxing at our pool.  There was a girl sitting near us  on the phone complaining about her life, while her kids were in the pool screaming for attention.  She repeated her “story,” over and over to each friend who came to join her at the pool.  At first I was annoyed, I wished she would just shut the hell up, then I stopped and realized how interesting it was that we were sitting in the same place by a beautiful pool, on a beautiful day and in that moment having two totally different experiences.  Does she have more problems than I do to fuss about?  Maybe, but in that moment, she wasn’t even appreciating what she had. xo-K

My two cents:  Everything that is happening out there is for your benefit, it really is.

believe it or not

I was having lunch today with a friend I hadn’t seen for a while. We ran into each other after church service and were in one of my fav cafes, catching up on each others lives.  Our waitress was rather distracted and I made a comment about how long it took to get a cup of coffee. My friend quickly agreed. “Well you know,” I said. “We usually see in others what we don’t like about ourselves.” This time, my friend quickly disagreed. “I don’t believe that,” she said. “I don’t think it works like that.” I smiled. “That’s okay,” I replied. “You don’t have to.”

I’m not out to convert anyone. I also think that universal laws are in place whether you agree with them or not. Can I just say? I’m so glad to have reached a point where I don’t feel like everyone has to agree with me in order for the world to make sense. You don’t have to know how electricity works, but if you flip the switch, lights will come on anyway. You don’t have to understand gravity either, but if you trip, you may fall. I’m just sayin’. . . . It isn’t my job to try to make everyone think like me. In fact, I rather like it when they don’t.

So I said to my friend, “well, in my case, maybe I’m not as focused as I could be, and I see that in the waitress.” She didn’t know what to do with this new information. She thought that I had been making a remark about her state of consciousness, when really, I had been making one about mine.  I let it go. She wasn’t ready to hear it.

Byron Katie has a process she calls “The Work.” The Work involves asking a series of questions that can help bring you closer to the truth of the matter, if that’s what you want. (Personally, I’m always on a quest for the truth of the matter, but that’s just me. . . .)

The first question you need to ask is: Is it true?  Is it true that the waitress is over looking my needs? Really? No. My needs are always met, and it isn’t the waitress’s job to calm my insecurities.

The next question: How do you react when you think that thought? If I think the waitress is neglecting me, I feel rejected, unloved.

Next question: Can you think of a reason to drop that thought? Yes! I would feel happier, more secure to not believe I’m being singled out and neglected.

Final question: Who would you be without that thought? Happy! Free! Calm!

Okay, now here’s the clincher: The Turn-around. “The waitress isn’t neglecting me, I neglect myself.” Ouch! We always project what we don’t want to own. Getting what you want is easy, especially if what you want is happy, because the only person withholding happy from me, is me. Love, C

My two cents: when you are willing to own your own stuff, your stuff stops tracking you down!

♥♥♥

I know my beliefs have changed over the years, I used to believe what people told me, my parents, friends, the news.  I used to think because a lot of people thought or believed the same thing, it made it true.  Really? I know a lot of people who believe in a lot of different things now, some I agree with and some I don’t.

Abraham says a belief is a thought you keep on thinking, makes sense.  I know  so many people who think and believe in so many different things, who’s right?  I personally think you get to choose what you believe, what your reality is going to be so for right now, I’m going with that.

In my profession I talk to so many different people, people with different lifestyles, different income brackets, different beliefs. I love my clients, and friends, love listening to their stories, I feel I am a student of life and I enjoy what makes people tick and watching their lives unfold.  It is also interesting to me how their lives and my own play out depending on their own personal beliefs.  I am not claiming to know everything, but I have observed a lot of people, many of whom I have known  for years, and I have to tell you their lives are playing out in perfect accordance to what they believe.  Mine too.

It’s amazing, just like C mentioned earlier, we can create a whole scenario, around what we believe.  Be it a waitress being rude or dismissive or  your bf or bff is angry at you for some reason.  We love  the quote, the universe always says yes, and use it often, but I think that we can also apply this to our own thoughts.  We can  get a whole big story going about something, get all fired up about it and BAM, doesn’t it seem like it ends up playing out in your life?  It’s like the universe lines up events that line up with what you are thinking, or maybe, you are just noticing things that line up to what you think or believe.

I don’t know if anyone really knows what makes our beliefs  true, but I have noticed that there is no one way to do anything and I am glad about that.  As for myself, I am going to believe in the things that I want, and focus on them.  I want to believe that most people are good and kind, and I  tend to come into contact with people like that.  If you think that people are not nice or out to get you in some way,  you will probably meet up with those kind of folks along your path.

Do we believe things are going to happen in a certain way because they have played out that way in the past?  So we also have expectation, in the mix now too. We’ll get into that one next time.  As for me, I get to choose my thoughts, I get to choose what I put my attention on, and I get to choose what I believe in. xo-K

My two cents:  If you don’t  like the way your life is playing out, change the way you are looking at it.

expecting miracles

Don’t you just love it when the cosmos gives you a little shout out?  I had a shift of perception this morning, an opening where my soul slipped through with an insight. In that moment when I went from feeling stuck to feeling grateful. Nice!

We all have blue moments, right? It’s part of the work we do, just becoming aware of the moment we fall under  what Robert Ohotto calls a cultural spell, start believing that it’s all real out there, when it really is just a movie of our making.  The number one fix for that is meditation and/or prayer. So simple, and yet so easy for the ego to say, “Honey, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. You’re so good, so spiritually evolved, you can get by without it, just for today!” Trust me on this one: doesn’t work!

Another trick I use is to keep myself surrounded by spiritual masters. Sometimes this means going to a church service, a lecture, a concert, a reading.  I recently had two different friends from different corners of the country come to the town where I live for their work. I had heard about James O’Dea coming to lecture at the Unity Church that I attend, and really wanted to see him. I had a dilemma for about half a minute about how to spend time with my girls, then I realized that they would both enjoy hearing O’Dea speak. I told them that our Sunday program included a church service with a world-class speaker, then brunch at my fav local egg and toast joint. It was fantastic, and we all had a great time! (Except for darling P, who was not fooled by that hand-holding Unity business for a minute!)

Another way to connect is with the amazing collection of spirit-related videos on YouTube. Do we live at a great time on this planet or what?? Feeling a little blue?  Check out Jessica’s affirmations on YouTube!  Want to connect to something bigger than yourself? Listen to Eckhart Tolle on YouTube! So easy.

This morning I found my brain worrying a minor life issue like a dog with a bone. I refused to go into a huge drama about it, but I still have some energy around it, or it wouldn’t be an issue at all, it wouldn’t resonate at all. Anyway, I started to go there. You know what I mean!

Then, in the midst of looking for a nice morning message to distract myself, I found a video that contained beautiful celestial music, with images of great, galactic spans of space filled with pinwheels of magnetic gas and columns of light and star dust, and my puny little problems just vanished. Where was Earth? Where was I? It was like looking into forever. I mean, in the perspective of eternity, does it really matter if that parking ticket was fair or unfair? Really? Come on! Get over it already! Love, C

My two cents: I am the writer, director, and actor in the movie of my life and I can change it in any moment.

♥♥♥

I used to pray for miracles, look for them, hope for them.  Now I expect them.  And because I expect them and appreciate when they happen they come more frequently and in many different ways.

I got a very expensive traffic ticket in the mail last week, I had been working on my feelings of prosperity and money really not being an issue for me.  Money is energy and really neutral, it has whatever power or feeling  you put behind it. So anyway, got this ticket, right before I am ready to leave for vacation and I have to say my first reaction was I was pissed.  I was caught on video making a right hand turn on a red light.  I remember doing that, and the light had just turned red.  Yeah right, so what, what I did was wrong so I had to pay.  They had a video of me so even if I was going to fight it, which I wasn’t, no winning that one.

When I opened the ticket and saw the fine I had to put it aside for the night, I felt sick to my stomach and knew I had to get into a better space before I could deal with it.  I had a feeling I got that ticket for a reason so I wanted to sleep on it.  I had been doing so well on my money not being an issue for me, money was flowing in and flowing out, I had plenty and I was feeling good about it.  Now this, okay well I did say I wanted to master this and I was being given an opportunity here.

When I woke up in the morning the first thing I thought was I would call and ask if I could make payments on the ticket, explain I was leaving for vacation and that I needed more time.  That didn’t feel good, I was going to try to convince a total stranger that I couldn’t afford the ticket?  That was not in alignment with what I was trying to master regarding money. Uggg, I did my morning meditation and it came to me,  I would pay the whole thing right now.  I just knew that by doing that everything would be fine and I would be lined up to what I was trying to accomplish around prosperity.

As soon as I made that decision, I felt like well, a million bucks.  Another thing that happened after I made that decision was I opened a pocket in my purse, a pocket that I know I looked through the day before when rounding up my checks from my clients for deposit and I found a stack of checks, $700 to be exact. Now that’s a miracle, oh and another thing, when I looked again at the ticket, I had  read it wrong, it was $100 less than I thought it was.  I think it was worth getting the ticket just to really get the lesson on prosperity. xo-K

My two cents: Miracles are everywhere, even where you least expect them.

tuned in, tapped in, turned on

Unless you have been hiding under a rock, out on some deserted island or just don’t have a computer you have undoubtedly seen the YouTube video of Jessica’s affirmations.  We posted it a few weeks ago on our facebook page and it was amazing to see how it was just, well, everywhere.  Suddenly, it was all over facebook, it was on the front page of Aol,  and now the original post is at close to two million hits.  Everyone is loving little Jessica and her robust, enthusiastic affirmations.

That little girl, who was four at the time of the video, is what Abraham calls tuned in tapped in turned on, or, in the Vortex. She is in alignment with herself and what she wants and affirming it to the universe with such joy and clarity, you just can’t help but get swept up in it.  Even the most negative, doubting people I know were mimicking that little girl and posting similar affirmations on their facebook pages or walking around exclaiming to themselves and the world.

We have all known about or have at least heard about affirmations. I use them on a daily basis and have for years, but a lot of people I know don’t, and don’t think affirmations have much power.  Well they do. They get you to focus and line you up with what you want so you can actually start to feel what it would be like to be having or doing or being what you want. Oh, and don’t forget the most important part: it feels good!

Think about it: the reason anyone does anything is because they think they will be happy in the doing/having  it.  Why do you want more money?  You think it will make you happy.  Why do you want a great relationship?  You think it will make you happy and will make you feel good.  This pretty much applies to anything out there that you desire.

Yesterday I took my daughter to the orthodontist. When she went back, I sat in the reception area.  They have a brand new huge flat screen TV that always seems to be on CNN.  I am aware of what is going on out there in the world but I tend to stay away from things like CNN.  It never feels that great when I watch, so I just don’t.  Well, it was on and I was watching for a few minutes and they have one of those ticker things at the bottom of the screen and it is recapping the same 4 or 5 negative stories over and over.  Urrrrg, I felt terrible and went  outside to make a phone call.  Watching that ticker, play over and over is an affirmation, a negative one.  It is repeating something over and over until it is the truth to you.  You can affirm what CNN wants you to think or you can be like little Jessica and affirm what you want to focus on and what feels good to you.  It’s your choice.  xo-K

My two cents:  We say it over and over: focus on what you want, not what you don’t want and be in your joy while doing it.

♥♥♥

I wasn’t crazy about facebook at first. When I joined a year ago, it just seemed like a giant time drain. I checked in once a week, just to see if anyone I knew was there. I wanted to see what clever thing they said, or photo they posted.  It took a while, and then I became a believer. Videos like Jessica’s affirmations are a good example of how we can change the world with one post at a time.

I have come to realize that my fb page is my “station” and I can play anything I want on it. No CNN, no hand-wringing ain’t-it-a-shame media, no filtering out annoying talking heads just to have the good stuff I want flowing into my world. Nice! You may have noticed that Two Girls likes to post graphics and videos. And it’s all stuff we like! Once upon a time, I worked in radio. The best part of that gig was programming the music. So much fun! This is like that, but better.

Two Girls promotes information that feels good, books that are uplifting, teachers who can take us all to the next evolution of our souls, music that puts us in the vortex, and of course videos like sweet Jessica’s affirmations.  I don’t know about you, but my heart just opened like a big flower when I watched her for the first time. There is a lot of good news out there, and it is our mission to share it because that’s the world we want to affirm: all is good, all is well, we are loved, and we are never alone.

For me, being tuned in, tapped in, and turned is a  daily practice. When you consistently affirm the pleasant things you wish to experience: peace, harmony, joy; you begin to look for them to show up. When you look for them to show up and expect them to show up, they do. What you focus on shows up. What you expect to happen, happens.

If you start to “forget” for a minute and catch yourself afraid of what might happen, just pause, take a breath; and affirm a better outcome, allow a better outcome. It’s that easy and it’s that hard! If you are all wound up and needing to release a burst of energy, fear and anger are a shortcut that can work. It’s just better for your peace and well-being if you take a moment to connect to what is your real power. In case it matters. Love, C

My two cents: begin your day tuned in and watch the magic that is your world unfold in a whole new way.

it ain't over till it's over

So many tears I’ve cried, so much pain inside, but baby it ain’t over till it’s over. . .”-Lenny Kravitz

Wow, did I get that in a big way this last past week.  We all have our stuff, family stuff, some worse than others but we all have it.  I know I’ve got mine, hell I kept dating my dad until the thought of dating at all was not even an option until I worked it out.  I have been working on it for years, and have been feeling pretty good about it, feeling healed around it. Spent time in therapy, worked it out in my romantic relationships, it has come up in this blog many times and I think that writing has been the most healing thing for me.  I felt I was good on the subject, and I was, but someone else was not.  And he was waiting for me right back where we left off 30 +years ago.

My dad, who I felt never wanted to talk about this or anything deep for that matter, had been holding onto our relationship just where we left it so many years ago when it went south.  We were never big on communication, I thought he wouldn’t be willing to go there, or maybe that was me not wanting to go there with him.  Wasn’t pleasant the first time around, thought it might be easier just doing the work by myself or with a partner who mirrored  his. . . let’s just say “energy.”

Never thought I would have the opportunity to deal with it directly with my dad, too much time had passed, where do you even start.  So you can imagine my surprise when the other day it happened, I won’t go into what lead up to this confrontation, doesn’t really matter, had nothing to do with anything but I have to say it was the perfect storm.

He came at me out of the blue or maybe out of the oblivion, and in one fell swoop tried to time-travel me back to about age 15. And guess what, I was there, but then I wasn’t.  I didn’t cower, I stood up for myself in a way I never have and didn’t think I ever could.  Granted I wish I would have cooled it on the f-bombs I sent  flying around my living room, but I was calm, I was firm and I was so in my own power it was surreal.  As I was pretty much giving him the bums-rush out my front door, I don’t know who was more shocked him or me.  All the old tricks he used to pull on me, shame, guilt, etc. didn’t work.  Under the circumstances I felt like a million bucks, and then I didn’t.

I started to feel guilty, just a little bit but it was there.  I basically told my dad to get out of my home and my life, I was done with him and his rage.   My daughter, who was not home during the altercation, later asked me, “Where are we going to have Thanksgiving?”  I told her I didn’t know, but we would figure it out.

It’s been almost a week and I haven’t spoken to either of my parents, and I don’t know what is going to happen.  I spoke to two of my spiritual advisers and I now have a new perspective on what is going on here.  This is hard work but I feel so good, like I don’t have anything to be afraid of anymore.  Now I feel I can really get on with things.  xo-K

My two cents:  You can look away, run away, even move away but things don’t go away until you deal with them.

♥♥♥

Wow, this work is so amazing. I am so awed and impressed with the work K has done these past two weeks. We keep telling each other: I’m so glad I’m doing my work because when sh*t happens, it feels really good to remain conscious and heal what has been brought up for a holy healing!  K got the big whammy of healings that led to a spiritual breakthrough, and it was like watching goddess Kali at work.

You know Kali, the goddess of destruction and regeneration. She will burn your ass up and then dust you off your wings and let you fly.  As a close observer of K’s transformation, it was like watching a perfect storm unfolding. I could see/sense the storm clouds gathering, saw the flashes of lightening. And then shazam she was deep into the hero’s journey, all on her own, fighting for her soul, and she won. All I can say is there must have been one h*ll of a flash of energetic release blasting out of K’s living room that afternoon. She healed not just herself in the here and now, but also herself across time and space. Awesome!  K connected with her soul in a way she never had and she will never be the same again.

K mentioned that to her dad, she was that same defiant teenager who told him to stuff it, just before she started off on the journey to become the fierce, holy, and fabulous goddess that she is today. All I can say is he must have been so totally dazzled by her light that it scared the crap out of him and he resorted to all of the old tricks that used to subdue the girl before she became a woman. K met her dad as a fully evolved woman, not a child, and that is a beautiful thing to behold. The apprentice became the master. It’s the hero’s journey, in case it matters. The stuff of all great legends and heroines. Stay tuned. We are almost iconic. Love, C

My two cents: we are all on a hero’s journey that takes as long as it takes.

it ain’t over till it’s over

So many tears I’ve cried, so much pain inside, but baby it ain’t over till it’s over. . .”-Lenny Kravitz

Wow, did I get that in a big way this last past week.  We all have our stuff, family stuff, some worse than others but we all have it.  I know I’ve got mine, hell I kept dating my dad until the thought of dating at all was not even an option until I worked it out.  I have been working on it for years, and have been feeling pretty good about it, feeling healed around it. Spent time in therapy, worked it out in my romantic relationships, it has come up in this blog many times and I think that writing has been the most healing thing for me.  I felt I was good on the subject, and I was, but someone else was not.  And he was waiting for me right back where we left off 30 +years ago.

My dad, who I felt never wanted to talk about this or anything deep for that matter, had been holding onto our relationship just where we left it so many years ago when it went south.  We were never big on communication, I thought he wouldn’t be willing to go there, or maybe that was me not wanting to go there with him.  Wasn’t pleasant the first time around, thought it might be easier just doing the work by myself or with a partner who mirrored  his. . . let’s just say “energy.”

Never thought I would have the opportunity to deal with it directly with my dad, too much time had passed, where do you even start.  So you can imagine my surprise when the other day it happened, I won’t go into what lead up to this confrontation, doesn’t really matter, had nothing to do with anything but I have to say it was the perfect storm.

He came at me out of the blue or maybe out of the oblivion, and in one fell swoop tried to time-travel me back to about age 15. And guess what, I was there, but then I wasn’t.  I didn’t cower, I stood up for myself in a way I never have and didn’t think I ever could.  Granted I wish I would have cooled it on the f-bombs I sent  flying around my living room, but I was calm, I was firm and I was so in my own power it was surreal.  As I was pretty much giving him the bums-rush out my front door, I don’t know who was more shocked him or me.  All the old tricks he used to pull on me, shame, guilt, etc. didn’t work.  Under the circumstances I felt like a million bucks, and then I didn’t.

I started to feel guilty, just a little bit but it was there.  I basically told my dad to get out of my home and my life, I was done with him and his rage.   My daughter, who was not home during the altercation, later asked me, “Where are we going to have Thanksgiving?”  I told her I didn’t know, but we would figure it out.

It’s been almost a week and I haven’t spoken to either of my parents, and I don’t know what is going to happen.  I spoke to two of my spiritual advisers and I now have a new perspective on what is going on here.  This is hard work but I feel so good, like I don’t have anything to be afraid of anymore.  Now I feel I can really get on with things.  xo-K

My two cents:  You can look away, run away, even move away but things don’t go away until you deal with them.

♥♥♥

Wow, this work is so amazing. I am so awed and impressed with the work K has done these past two weeks. We keep telling each other: I’m so glad I’m doing my work because when sh*t happens, it feels really good to remain conscious and heal what has been brought up for a holy healing!  K got the big whammy of healings that led to a spiritual breakthrough, and it was like watching goddess Kali at work.

You know Kali, the goddess of destruction and regeneration. She will burn your ass up and then dust you off your wings and let you fly.  As a close observer of K’s transformation, it was like watching a perfect storm unfolding. I could see/sense the storm clouds gathering, saw the flashes of lightening. And then shazam she was deep into the hero’s journey, all on her own, fighting for her soul, and she won. All I can say is there must have been one h*ll of a flash of energetic release blasting out of K’s living room that afternoon. She healed not just herself in the here and now, but also herself across time and space. Awesome!  K connected with her soul in a way she never had and she will never be the same again.

K mentioned that to her dad, she was that same defiant teenager who told him to stuff it, just before she started off on the journey to become the fierce, holy, and fabulous goddess that she is today. All I can say is he must have been so totally dazzled by her light that it scared the crap out of him and he resorted to all of the old tricks that used to subdue the girl before she became a woman. K met her dad as a fully evolved woman, not a child, and that is a beautiful thing to behold. The apprentice became the master. It’s the hero’s journey, in case it matters. The stuff of all great legends and heroines. Stay tuned. We are almost iconic. Love, C

My two cents: we are all on a hero’s journey that takes as long as it takes.

the universe always says yes

Have you ever noticed? The universe always says yes. Think traffic always snarls on your morning commute? Yes! Believe that you have no self control? Yes! Convinced that there’s a shortage of money? YES!

K and I have been running an experiment for about a year. Well truthfully, it’s been longer than that, but let’s just say a year, because it’s relevant to the topic at-hand. For the last year, pretty much all of 2009  and part of 2010 — or the period of time I like to call the season of the Great Panic Attack — we’ve been ignoring “the economy.”

What?! Yes, it’s true. We’ve been going merrily about our business affirming that “My income is always increasing,” and “I thrive in any economy.” Crazy? Probably. But let me just tell you something, while many people we know have been lamenting “the economy” with doleful sighs and running around looking for the sky to fall, we’ve been fine. I believe this is because the Universe Always Says Yes.

Am I delusional? Possibly. But I have to say, I’ve been pretty stress-free for the past year. And stress causes your hair to turn gray and your face to pucker up and wrinkle. I mean, who needs it? Are there people out there who are really suffering? Of course, and I have compassion for them. But in the world I live in, all is well. Now, mind you, I don’t watch the TV news or read the so-called newspapers (which is mostly bad news, have you noticed?), so I don’t get exposed to the “ain’t it a shame” game that passes for “news.”

Skeptics will say that positive thinking doesn’t have a real effect. Good for them. All I know is, K is self-employed and her business is as robust as it ever was. I found a job after moving to a new town just after the stock market tanked in 2008 and am doing very well, thank you very much. Does our radical practice of believing in the best outcomes possible protect us from the desperation of the masses? Not entirely. After all, we do live in the “real” world. We just haven’t swallowed the Kool Aid that about 99.999% of folks out there have.

Does it make us better than the rest of humanity? I don’t know about that. But it does make us happier, and call me crazy, but I’ll take happy any day.

Okay, for real: this morning I woke up in a pretty grim mood. But experience has shown me where that line of thinking takes me and for sure, that wasn’t a place I wanted to go. My thoughts|my choice. I changed my attitude from gloom to gratitude for my blessings, and I gotta say, this day has totally rocked. Love, C

My two cents: don’t take my word for it: monitor your thoughts and see for yourself if your beliefs are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for you.

♥♥♥

This is probably my favorite thing to talk about ever.  I could go on and on and on about it.  I have been working on this, living it, being in total amazement for the last few years.  It has always been really interesting to me why people’s realities are so different.  Why do some people seem to have such a hard time, while others seem to just skate through life?   Why are some so sad and depressed and others in similar situations so happy and hopeful?   Was it their outlook on life?  Their thoughts?

Just as C stated before, the universe always says yes. Period.  Think life sucks, yours will.  That might seem a little harsh but it’s not.  It’s empowering, we are not victims, we are co-creators here.  We all get to decide what we believe in, so choose wisely and choose what you like.  I know for me, I don’t watch the news, It’s depressing, and I don’t want to feel bad.  I guess they feel if they scare you and worry you, you will tune back in so you can prepare yourself for whatever they think you need to prepare yourself for.  Uggg.

I have adopted the philosophy: “Not in my world.”  Stuff could be going on out there, bad stuff, scary stuff, but, not in my world.  When everyone started talking about, and panicking about “the economy,” I knew I couldn’t go there. I knew it could go so wrong for me if I didn’t line up with what I wanted.  A lot of people were scared and fired up about it. I knew that as a  self-employed, single mom, I couldn’t afford the luxury of a negative thought. So in one moment I decided to focus on the mantra “I thrive in any economy.”   First thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is how lucky I am and that I thrive in any economy.  If my mind starts to worry about bills, I stop and go to my mantra.   It took some practice but I have to say, my business has never been better, and I have peace of mind that I have never had before, ever.

We really do get to pick the way our life plays out. My dad for example: great guy love him so much, has always had issue with his weight.  He truly believes and will tell you over and over that he gains 5 lbs. every time he goes on vacation.  I don’t know where he got this idea but he really believes it  and guess what?  He gains 5 lbs. every single time he goes away.  I also have a friend: great girl, whose father cheated on her mother then left her.  She believes all men cheat.  She says it all the time. She truly believes it and guess what?  Every single man she has ever dated has cheated and disappointed her.  I have tried to point out to her that she knows lots of married couples where the guy is  totally in love with his wife and doesn’t cheat, but she just can’t see it.  Pity, that one thing that she so doesn’t want is the thing that she has such a strong belief about.  The universe always says yes. . . .  xo-K

My two cents:  I get to choose the life I want to live; me, not my family, not the newscasters, ME….. Yippee!!!

soul connections

You know what I’m talking about when I say you’ve had soul connections in your life, right? I’m not just talking about romantic love here. You know deep in your core when you meet someone: a friend, a co-worker, someone at church or the PTA, and you feel that zing somewhere in the region of your heart. You just know. It’s like, hello again.

We all come here to earth school with certain soul agreements. Hey! It’s confusing enough to muddle through life here in 3D without knowing there was a plan set in motion, a contract if you will. We made agreements with other souls to show up at certain times, to support each other, love each other, help teach each other lessons.

When you think of it like that, it’s much harder to hate that loser for divorcing you, or that b*tch who got you fired, or that cheating liar who broke your sweet heart into a million pieces. Because think of it: hasn’t adversity made you a stronger person, a better person? Didn’t your soul evolve just a little bit each time your ego got bruised? Michael Beckwith has a great saying that I love so much it makes me laugh. It goes like this: “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.”

Soul connections are your peeps, your soul family, your backup system. Are your soul-mates just those people who break your heart or hurt you? Heck no! Soul-mates can help you grow and love you, too. K and her daughter are soul-mates, and they are beautiful to behold.

You’ve had dazzling soul connections in your life, and I have too. Our souls want us to be happy. They are whispering in our ears all the time, if we bother to listen. If we get really quiet and still the constant background chatter playing in our head, the soul speaks. It doesn’t always speak loudest, but it does have something to say and if you are even just the slightest bit curious about your life’s destiny, you will want to sit down, be still, and listen.

I read a metaphysical theory the other day that bent my brain all over itself. It went like this: If you have a quarter in one hand, then move it to your other hand, is it the same quarter? The answer is: no. It’s complicated, something to do with the quantum field, and how consciousness rearranges itself in each moment to present a unified picture for us. Crazy! That means you’re not the same person you were last year, or last month. I think this is good. This opens you up to embrace all the soul connections you can, and that’s a beautiful thing. Love, C

My two cents: see soul connections in every encounter you have, and make them all holy.

♥♥♥

That C, she  can practically read my mind.  I was thinking of this very same topic this morning when I was waking up, not quite ready to start my day.  However, I was going to title this post Frustration. Haha, love how the universe works.  She calls it ‘soul connection’ and I want to call it  ‘frustration.’

I have bucked up against a couple of my soul-buddies, friends/ family, recently. Of course, I love them to death but for some reason, our dealings have been a bit frustrating to me.  Initially I thought it was all about them, as in: why don’t they get it?   I thought: can’t they see they are doing the same thing they did the last time, and we know how that turned out!  Grrrrr! But then I thought: wait, why is it bothering me so much?  It’s their stuff not mine, why do I care?

Well of course I care, they are people I care about, that is my job as a friend right?  I thought about both of the instances, it only took two this time to throw me off. Sometimes I can get my panties in a bunch with everyone I encounter,  from my lovely daughter to the dude who doesn’t know if he wants to turn into this winery for a taste or the one that is a quarter mile up the road and is creeping up the highway at a snails pace not exactly sure where he is and where he is going.  Pretty sure that guy isn’t in my soul group but who knows, maybe he just popped in to get me to slow down and look around and really see the beauty that I get to live in everyday.

Well, back to those soul connections, otherwise known as lovers, friends, teachers, kids, angels, aliens. . . when you bump up against someone or something and it gets to you good or bad, pay attention.

We talked about this a few months ago in dating my dad , it seems that you keep getting different versions of the same guy or the same situation over and over again until you learn whatever it is you are supposed to learn.  Guess that blows the whole you only get  one soulmate, one true love theory out of the water, huh?

I feel that most of the people in my life I have a soul connection with.  They just feel waaaaay too familiar to not be.  That is the good news and the bad news.  The good news is they know me, and the bad news is, yep you got it, they know me. I’m not getting away with anything, and I am coming around to the idea that I am kinda glad I’m not.  There is something so comforting and safe knowing that the people in your life really know you and get you, and you can’t really be mad at them if they call you on your s**t.  Just sayin’. . . . xo-K

My two cents: just knowing we are all in this together makes it a little less scary and a whole lot more fun!

Get ready so you can be ready

Do you know how special you are? All the amazing things about you?  When is the last time you thought about it? Have you ever thought about it?  The truth is we all have beauty, talent, and that something special that makes you, you. We can all be so hard on ourselves, notice that extra pound or five, or when you hair is not just so, but when was the last time you gave yourself props for how great you looked or how smart you are?   A year ago?  Never?

A lot women don’t value  and appreciate themselves and then wonder why the men they end up dating don’t appreciate them.  The thing is you have to do it first.  If you put yourself on a pedestal, the man in your life will have to, or he won’t be in your life.  You want to be treated with love and respect, don’t put up with less.

You have to get there first, shift the energy. If in the past, you have put up with less than loving respectful treatment, maybe you need to take a break.  Spend some time with yourself, figure out what you want and how you want to be treated and what are your deal breakers are.  Know that you are amazing and worthy and don’t settle for less.  No more excuses. Ever.  If you don’t value yourself, others won’t either.  Not everyone is a match and not everyone needs to like you, but you need to like you.  You are the one that matters the most.

You need to get ready so you can be ready. If you want this great amazing guy and he shows up you need to know that you are worth having someone like that.  If you feel insecure or not worthy, it’s not fun and you might do something to sabotage the relationship or just get jealous or something. Another thing that happens when you haven’t done your work is you just don’t meet anyone that you would even consider dating. Then you are disillusioned and think there are no good men out there.

A good friend of mine, G, after trying the Match thing without much luck took a little break to re-evaluate.  She really got serious about what she wanted, even made a list.  She got really clear, she was a catch and deserved a good man.  On some level she just knew that something shifted after that.  She just had a feeling that she was really close to getting what she was looking for and had this sense of peace about it.  She met her husband soon after and he was everything she was looking for and more.  He absolutely adores her and  feels he hit the jackpot finding her.  They have mutual love and respect for each other and are having the time of their lives.  I am so happy for both of them.

I have heard so many stories like this lately,  so I know it really happens. I have asked a few of my friends and clients to share their stories with me and I will be sharing them here.  It is so inspiring and really makes me feel hopeful.  I know we can all get the feeling sometimes,that it will never happen.  Like you have to settle, because nobody’s perfect right?  Don’t do that to yourself, there is someone out there who will be just what you are looking for and guess what?  They are looking for you too, and it’s going to be so worth the wait.  xo-K

My two cents:  see your beauty, know your worth and just know you are going to get exactly what you want.

♥♥♥

One of my favorite ways to get ready or “pre-pave” in Abraham-Hick lingo, is to imagine.  Not creative, you say? I beg to differ, my darling. We are always imagining stuff. More often than not, we imagine the worst rather than the best. How do I know? You can tell how you’re thinking by the words you use. Phrases like “just my luck” or “yeah, right!” are symptoms of a negative imagination.

What if instead, we started imagining a better future instead of the same dreary, uninspired one we’ve been hauling around behind us all our lives like some kind of moth-eaten hunting trophy? Instead of feeling all boohoo, nothing good ever happens to me and then secretly hoping that something good does manage to fight its way through our defenses, we imagine something that we want, like oh, happiness?  Remember, you don’t have to figure out how to get happy all we have to do is figure out how to be happy and all the rest will follow.

One of my favorite ways to get over my own  habitual thinking, is to imagine a scenario in my mind, start pretending it’s so, and then allow the good feelings to flow. Lately, I’ve been feeling what it’s like to have my perfect partner in my life. When I’m getting ready for work, I’ll imagine that he’s in the next room, reading the paper or writing emails, planning his day.  Or, I’ll be driving, and imagine that the evening ahead is already planned: a quiet dinner, just the two of us. Or I’ll be running my Saturday errands, and imagine that he’s out running man errands, and we’ll meet up in the afternoon for a bike ride out along the river, or a movie in town. These are not full blown fantasies, they are simply small, quiet thoughts that make me feel happy.

Albert Einstein said, “imagination is more important than knowledge.”  Dude knew something. I’m going with that.  Practice feeling the feeling! It costs nothing and offers big rewards. Huge. Love, C

My two cents: practice feeling how you want to feel and the universe will bend over backwards to second that emotion.

get ready so you can be ready

Do you know how special you are? All the amazing things about you?  When is the last time you thought about it? Have you ever thought about it?  The truth is we all have beauty, talent, and that something special that makes you, you. We can all be so hard on ourselves, notice that extra pound or five, or when you hair is not just so, but when was the last time you gave yourself props for how great you looked or how smart you are?   A year ago?  Never?

A lot of women don’t value  and appreciate themselves and then wonder why the men they end up dating don’t appreciate them.  The thing is you have to do it first.  If you put yourself on a pedestal, the man in your life will have to, or he won’t be in your life.  You want to be treated with love and respect, don’t put up with less.

You have to get there first, shift the energy. If in the past, you have put up with less than loving respectful treatment, maybe you need to take a break.  Spend some time with yourself, figure out what you want and how you want to be treated and what are your deal breakers are.  Know that you are amazing and worthy and don’t settle for less.  No more excuses. Ever.  If you don’t value yourself, others won’t either.  Not everyone is a match and not everyone needs to like you, but you need to like you.  You are the one that matters the most.

You need to get ready so you can be ready. If you want this great amazing guy and he shows up, you need to know that you are worth having someone like that.  If you feel insecure or not worthy, it’s not fun and you might do something to sabotage the relationship or just get jealous or push him away. Another thing that happens when you haven’t done your work is you just don’t meet anyone that you would even consider dating. Then you feel hopeless and disillusioned and think there are no good men out there.

A good friend of mine, G, after trying the Match thing without much luck took a little break to re-evaluate.  She really got serious about what she wanted, even made a list.  She got really clear, she was a catch and deserved a good man.  On some level she just knew that something shifted after that.  She just had a feeling that she was really close to getting what she was looking for and had this sense of peace about it.  She met her husband soon after and he was everything she was looking for and more.  He absolutely adores her and  feels he hit the jackpot finding her.  They have mutual love and respect for each other and are having the time of their lives.  I am so happy for both of them.

I have heard so many stories like this lately,  so I know it really happens. I have asked a few of my friends and clients to share their stories with me and I will be sharing them here.  It is so inspiring and really makes me feel hopeful.  I know we can all get the feeling sometimes,that it will never happen.  Like you have to settle, because nobody’s perfect right?  Don’t do that to yourself, there is someone out there who will be just what you are looking for and guess what?  They are looking for you too, and it’s going to be so worth the wait.  xo-K

My two cents:  see your beauty, know your worth and just know you are going to get exactly what you want.

♥♥♥

One of my favorite ways to get ready, or “pre-pave” in Abraham-Hick lingo, is to imagine.  Not creative, you say? I beg to differ, my darling. We are always imagining stuff. More often than not, we imagine the worst rather than the best. How do I know? You can tell how you’re thinking by the words you use. Phrases like “just my luck” or “yeah, right!” are symptoms of a negative imagination.

What if instead, we started imagining a better future instead of the same dreary, uninspired one we’ve been hauling around behind us all our lives like some kind of moth-eaten hunting trophy? Instead of feeling all boohoo, nothing good ever happens to me and then secretly hoping that something good does manage to fight its way through our defenses, we imagine something that we want, like oh, happiness?  Remember, you don’t have to figure out how to get happy all we have to do is figure out how to be happy and all the rest will follow.

One of my favorite ways to get over my own  habitual thinking, is to imagine a scenario in my mind, start pretending it’s so, and then allow the good feelings to flow. Lately, I’ve been feeling what it’s like to have my perfect partner in my life. When I’m getting ready for work, I’ll imagine that he’s in the next room, reading the paper or writing emails, planning his day.  Or, I’ll be driving, and imagine that the evening ahead is already planned: a quiet dinner, just the two of us. Or I’ll be running my Saturday errands, and imagine that he’s out running man errands, and we’ll meet up in the afternoon for a bike ride out along the river, or a movie in town. These are not full blown fantasies, they are simply small, quiet thoughts that make me feel happy.

Albert Einstein said, “imagination is more important than knowledge.”  Dude knew something. I’m going with that.  Practice feeling the feeling! It costs nothing and offers big rewards. Huge. Love, C

My two cents: practice feeling how you want to feel and the universe will bend over backwards to second that emotion.

whistle while you work

I love my work, love what I do, always have.  Started out just a fun girlie hobby thing and now 30 years later, I’m still at it.  The first time I did a haircut it was at my bff D’s house.  We were flipping through Seventeen magazine and there was a bit about cutting the perfect shag.  It went on to say that if you stood on a chair with your head upside down and a friend cut straight across you would have this amazing shag haircut.  Well, we had a chair and she did need a haircut and we were bored so. . . I have to say that even with kitchen scissors, the cut was awesome, and a career was born.

I was lucky, I found something I loved to do that I could make money doing,  early on.  Very lucky.  So many people I know hate their jobs, well maybe hate is a little harsh, but they go to work everyday not wanting to be where they are doing what they are doing.  I can’t even imagine spending all day every day doing something that didn’t make me happy and bring me joy, just for the money.  Uggg, so not fun.

C and I have been talking about this ever since we started our little project here, our blog.  We love it so, it’s so much fun and we get so much out of it. Yeah, right now it is just a hobby, and our therapy,  in case it matters.  We work really hard on it, but it doesn’t seem like work at all and it has taught me so much.  Like I said before, I love being a stylist, but this is different.  Just as much work, but very different.  And considering neither of us even knew what a blog was four months ago, and we have just been figuring it out along the way, I think we’re doing a great job at it.

The thing is, when you find something you love to do, you’re good at it, and it doesn’t seem like work.  Someone asked C how much time she puts into this, and we don’t even really know because we are having so much fun and it is always on our minds it seems like all of our time but it’s effortless.  Isn’t that how work should be?

You think of people on film crews, they work like 16 hr days, but they become a family, they have so much love and passion for what they are creating that as hard as they are working they seem to be enjoying they process and experience a letdown when it is complete.  I have seen this with the my daughter and her friends when she was doing theater. Those kids would work so hard rehearsing for hours every night to give everyone a great show and when they performed for the last time, all the kids cry, along with many of the parents.  They loved what they were doing and were sad to see it end.

Seems like things are changing these days, people are losing their jobs, jobs they have been doing for maybe their whole lives.  Maybe they loved their jobs, but a lot of them were going to work everyday doing what they did because it payed the bills.  A lot of people have thought that you work to pay the bills and it’s not supposed to be fun, that’s why they call it work.  I think you go to work to create, to inspire, and enjoy.  Marsha Sinetar wrote a book called, Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.  I read that way back in the 80’s, and have always know it to be true.  When you enjoy what you do, you do it with ease, and it never seems like work. xo-K

My two cents:  You should love all aspects of your life, even how you pay the bills.

♥♥♥

Seriously? K really whistles while she works. I noticed it a couple of years ago, and it’s a great reminder that “all is well in the universe and in my world.“

Sometimes, when we’re working through a tech challenge with our beloved blog, or developing a new policy about a random issue that has surfaced, she’ll start whistling. K and I work on the phone a lot, and we’ve been friends long enough to not feel that we have to stuff the gaps with filler. So, we’ll both be surfing through the Net all quiet and focused, and she’ll start to whistle. It’s an instant mood elevator.  You can’t whistle or be close to the whistle and not feel happy!

But back to doing what you love. I’ve been a writer forever. I started keeping journals as a teen drama queen when my feelings overflowed from my heart through pen and paper, and have never stopped. I have not made it to the rarefied ranks of Pulitzer Prize winners or even the New York Times Bestseller list (yet), but I am modestly published, and this makes me happy.

But for a long time, I felt anguish that I wasn’t making my living “as a writer” — which in my narrow mind I had defined as “novelist.”   And then one day I stopped and realized that I do make a living by writing, and I had to laugh at myself. As marketing genie and chief fundraiser for a hometown nonprofit, I write grants and proposals, radio copy, banners, emails to important donors, letters. I write. A lot! When I realized how much money I’ve actually raised with my writing, it made me smile and realize that I had achieved a goal: I am a professional writer. Who knew?

The Universe always gives you what you ask for, maybe just not how you think it will look, but what ev. Adore what shows up. Appreciate each kink in the path. Embrace the what-isness of your life.   Your most important job is to look at what shows up and then fine-tune your request to the cosmic concierge, being more specific about your desired outcomes. I love that the Universe always says Yes! Love, C

My two cents:  be grateful for what shows up; it reveals your real thoughts about what is possible.

unpretty

The topic of bitches seems to have ignited some controversy. Maybe  it’s hit something at the core of our being. We love the bitch, and we hate her. She is the killer and the healer. She is the seer and the truth-speaker. She is the seducer, the power broker, the bad ass. She is a dangerous beautiful one, and she’s in every one of us. She may be part of us, but in some of us she’s a sleeping beauty, and that’s too bad.

Some of my favorite movie heroines are the ones who have fallen under the spell of believing there is something wrong with them, and that ultimately, they are “not pretty” enough to deserve the love they crave.  These are characters like Michelle Pfiffer in Frankie and Johnny, or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. And without doubt, these are women who have been rode hard and put up wet, women who were probably damaged in some way along the line when they were young, and as adults, they’ve carried that “not good-enough-ness” around with them and called it a life.

As an aside, can I just say? Michelle and Julia are not what I would consider classic beauties. Their unusual features probably got them teased quite a bit as kids. As a result they probably developed their inner bitch a little bit, learned how to get what they want. I don’t know either of these ladies, I’m just sayin’.

Anyway back to our sad leading ladies (and we’re all the leading lady in the movies of our lives, right?). We have to assume that someone, somewhere along the line told them that they were bad, or unloveable, or dumb, or not pretty or (fill in the blank)_______________. And then they believed it. Then they started making bad choices in life and in men, all which served to reinforce their barely-there self esteem, and it became first a habit, then a way of life. Sad.

Fortunately for our girls, they had a couple of hot leading men (Al Pacino and Richard Gere) to convince them that they were worthy and noble and brave, so they too, began to believe.  Of course it would have been much better if our girls had  come to those conclusions on their own, but sometimes we need a little help from our friends and we’re really lucky when that kind of love comes around. You know the kind, the love that sees you for the radiant goddess that you are. But if you’re waiting for Prince Darling to come along and declare you whole and healed and ready for the great love of your life, well then sister, you better bitch up. Say yes to what’s good for you. Draw boundaries. Say no to what you don’t want to do. Say goodbye to the people and other habits in your life that don’t fit the inner bitch.  Become a strong, confident, un-clingy, bodacious, healthy woman, the kind the man you want would be with.

Because energy matches energy, until you start respecting yourself, you”ll keep attracting the ones who are less than the One, because you’re behaving like less than the One’s One and it has nothing to do with “pretty.” Love, C

My two cents: embrace your inner bitch and she’ll embrace you back!

♥♥♥

I just love Frankie and Johnnie, you have to take a moment and click on the link.  That is of my favorite scenes, good find C.  It is so obvious that Al is crazy about Michelle but she just can’t believe it or accept it, so sad.  Whether someone who was supposed to love you as a child didn’t, or maybe someone from school or that first boyfriend made you feel bad, unpretty, unlovable or just not good enough.  Probably had nothing to do with you, but it sure can do a number on your head.

It really is wonderful when someone who can really see your beauty comes along like Al Pacino in Frankie and Johnnie, but if you don’t feel worthy, and you don’t believe it,  you can let it get away.  Most of the time what happens is that you attract people who treat you the way you think you should be treated, how people from your past treated you.  It just affirms what you have always thought, all men are bad, they cheat, love hurts, or whatever the old tapes that you play in your head say.

Water does rise to it’s own level but it also rises to it’s own illusion.  If you think you are unworthy you will attract to that level.  Even when it’s nowhere near the truth.  I was talking to a friend the other day, great girl, beautiful, funny, but she is surrounded by people who are full of drama and treat her poorly.  Does she deserve it?  Hell no, but she is attracting it, so I think she needs to take a break and think about why people in her life think it’s okay to dump on her, and why she even thinks that these people are her friends.  I guess if this has been a pattern that has been repeated throughout your life, it seems your only options are crappy friends or no friends.  Cheating, lowdown bf or being alone.

Those are not your only choices but you need to know that.  Start looking for and noticing things that you like about yourself, start really seeing your beauty, know how worthy you are.  You deserve the best, so know it, own it and draw it in. xo-K

My two cents:  You get to pick who you allow to be in your life.  So be choosy.

 

 

 

 

we just want to give gratitude

It is so important that you are grateful for everything in your life. Many people focus on the one thing they want and forget to be grateful for all the things they have.

Without gratitude you cannot achieve anything, because if you are not emanating gratitude, then by default you are emanating ungratefulness. Be proactive… and use the frequency of your being to receive what you want. (The Secret Daily Teachings)

And we are grateful for YOU!  xo-K

my funny Valentine~

I spent some time with my two sisters this Valentine’s Day. Naturally, they wanted to know what crazy thing I was up to, so I told them I was writing a blog about love, and they both kind of looked at me like ‘but why?’ I could barely explain, and then my darling sister from Oklahoma (we were born three years and a day apart) shared a voicemail with me that she received from her husband of 25+ years and I was reduced to a sappy love puddle and said see? This is what I’m talkin’ about! Mind you, we were near Vancouver, BC, and he was back home in their big, beautiful home on the plains two time zones away, and he called to leave this message in his gruff man voice: “I love you, and I miss you. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”  Seriously, the love in his voice about killed me. Also, it totally inspired me. Just thought I’d share. Love, C&K

love is good for your heart

According to famous heart doctor Dean Ornish, “When you feel loved, nurtured, cared for, supported, and intimate, you are much more likely to be happier and healthier.”  He goes on to say, “You have a much lower risk of getting sick and, if you do, a much greater chance of surviving.”

See? Love not only feels good, but it’s good for you! Love, C

What is your resistance to love?

So, last week I got one of those e-mail forwards, you know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that are somewhat funny but kind of a waste of time.  I usually just delete them because I don’t really find them funny or clever, but for some reason, I opened this one and wow was it ever a can of worms.

The subject was something like the “Next Survivor.”  It went on to say that the next season of Survivor should be fathers with three kids and challenged by all the  things moms have to do on a daily basis.  Each task was more exhausting than the one before!  I’m sure some of these things were spot on, but as I was reading it, I could feel myself getting annoyed and irritated.  It all just seemed like so much work. Don’t get me wrong, I am a single mom, and I do everything.  But the way it was written, I don’t know, it didn’t seem that appealing.  I guess on some level I thought when I had a partner, I would have a partner, someone to make my life easier, not harder.

I thought about it for a few days. What was it about that e-mail that just got to me?  I know that I’ve had resistance in the past to being in relationship, my stuff with my parent’s relationship, etc., but I thought I had dealt with that.  I talked to C about it on the phone a bit ago, it was right there, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  There is still some part of me that is feeling a little, no, a lot of resistance around being in a relationship, especially if it’s going to be like that!

I have heard on more that one occasion that if there is something that you want and it is not showing up for you, then you have some resistance to it.  Sorry, but I know that is true.

We want to put the blame out there for our lack of  a boyfriend or husband. We say things like:  “All the good ones are taken.”  “I need to lose 10 pounds and then I will feel good enough to get out there.”  “I live in a small town.” “I live in a big city, it’s too hard to meet people.”  “All the men are gay.”  Shall I go on??

Now I am not trying to speak for anyone but myself, but it is worth just giving it a little bit of thought.  I know for me as much as I would love to share my life with someone, my life is pretty amazing right now. And I know that there is some part of me that feels, on some level, what if I lose myself? I’ve done that before, too.  What if I have to compromise, and things change and I don’t like it?

Well this is big for me, huge, and I’ve got some big work to do. So, I am going to pass you off to C.  Let’s see what she comes up with.  I’m sure this won’t be the last time we discuss this.  Wish me luck! xo-K

My two cents:  Remember when you pray for patience, a lot of things come in that require patience.  That’s how you learn.

***

Okay, we Two Girls have pretty much gone on record saying the universe is conspiring to give you what you want. “Oh yeah?” you say. “Then where’s my stuff?” Fair question.

Well, yes, the universe always says yes. But it’s complicated. It says yes to every thought you have. Studies have shown that we have in excess of 100,000 thoughts a day. Have you ever monitored the thoughts zipping through your head? Please! If all the mental chatter that goes on in our head was dollars, we’d all be millionaires!

Bottom line: not all of the thoughts we think are in alignment. Dude — some of the thoughts we think just out and out contradict each out.  And when you send out conflicting messages, guess what happens? They cancel each other out. How do you know if you’re sending out conflicting signals? Well, if you’re not getting what you want, the bottom line is, you have resistance to actually manifesting it. Ouch.

Maybe you’ve been single for a while and you’re ready to date. You join an online dating service, fill out the forms, upload a flattering photo. There are thousands of people online, looking for love! It’s a virtual date-fest! So why aren’t you finding The One? Okay, it’s time to get brutally honest with yourself. You have issues. Don’t take it personally, we all have issues. We’re human, we have issues. The problem is, if you really want to get what you want and be happy, you have to own your issues, and work to resolve them. Here are some examples of conflicting thoughts:

I really want to be married.

I’m afraid that if I get married, I’ll always have to do what he wants and I’ll never get to do what I want. Ever.

I want to fall in love.

The last time I fell in love, he left me. Just like the one before him, and the one before him, all the way back to my dad. All men leave.

I want to settle down.

Only losers settle. No one’s going to tell me what to do!

I want someone to share my life with.

He better not be a cheater. The last guy I dated cheated on me. All men cheat.

If any of this resistance stuff rings a bell, don’t be sad, pookie. It’s good news! Once you can be honest enough with yourself to own what’s holding you back, you can heal it and move on with your life. You can have what you want. You just have to decide what’s holding you back and do something about it. This is our work. Love, C

My two cents: you don’t have to believe everything you think.

 

 

love will shake you up

Hearts and flowers to writer, teacher, and astrologist, Rob Breszny @ freewillastrology.com for sharing this fabulous wisdom:

“Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.” – Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

I am willing to love

“All you need is Love.” — The Beatles

Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb here. I’m willing to bet that you don’t love yourself enough. Yes, you, my darling. You don’t love yourself enough. Do you want to change that? Are you willing to change that? Repeat after me: I AM willing to allow myself, to love myself, fully and unconditionally, just as I AM.

Wow. Doesn’t that feel good? Go to your quiet place and repeat that for about five minute and see how you feel. You can change. Start today. Start by being willing to love yourself more, and before you know it, you will. Love you! C

it’s all about the love, baby!

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re going to do a little something special. Love  it or hate it, you get what you focus on. Don’t be a hater! Let’s all manifest a little extra love in our lives. In addition to our regular posts for the next few weeks, we’re going to offer tasty morsels of love. What’s your love story? Let’s all make a little magic! Love, C & K

“Only love is real. Nothing else exists.”  — Marianne Williamson

happy together

My first example of a happy marriage started off, well at the beginning.  My parents, married right out of high school, first love, still married and in love 47+ years later.  Great example right, so. . . what the heck happened to me?

Here I am at 46, still trying to figure this all out.  I didn’t come from a horrible, broken family.  My family was small but solid.  So why at the age when hormones were raging did I basically proclaim to God, Universe, Angels, or whoever was up there listening, “I’m never getting married!”

I’ve been close  a few times, but because of the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing, I’ve always managed to pick the guys who I seemed to want to marry but for some reason knew on some subconscious level, were safe to get close to, but no cigar.  What the heck was I so afraid of?  I did want to get married right?  I did want to share my life with someone.

I had totally forgot about my teenage proclamation until just a few years ago.  I remember feeling it, and I do mean feeling it.  At that point in time I swore I was never going to get married and there was a lot of emotion and steam behind it.

So I have been trying to figure this out for the last few years and I have come up with a few things that  I thought I’d share.  I think that I was under the impression that all marriages are created equal,  there  is really just one kind:  he gets his way all the time, she has to sacrifice, and so do the kids. (So is it any surprise that I became a single parent and not a wife?  Just asking.)

Thinking about it now, it just seems crazy. It is amazing the impressions made on you as a young child, and how you just take them on without ever questioning them.  I watched my mom all those years and even now,  she doesn’t seem to mind giving my dad his way, catering to him, she even seems to enjoy it.  So what I see as a sacrifice is not for her.  Wait, so there is not just one kind of marriage?  I think that the sacrifice version of marriage is what I’ve been carrying around with me all these years and it didn’t seem fun to me so I wasn’t going to do it.  Wow, that’s quite a revelation.

So after much thought, reading, studying and just talking to my friends and clients, I finally got that all marriages are not the same.  I don’t have to have my parent’s marriage.  OMG, really? It seems so simple but most people go through life on auto- pilot not really knowing that there are choices and options about the way their life plays out. I think this is enlightening.

So now I know that I get to pick, what kind of marriage I want to have.  The way I want to live. I am sure there will be compromises just like with anything but I don’t have to have my parents marriage.  I can find someone who I will be happy with, just like my mom did.  Now, isn’t that  ironic.  xo-K

My two cents:  You can’t look at someone else’s life from your vantage point and get the true picture.

***

I was the first one to get divorced in my family. No wait, that’s not true. My uncle got divorced. Three times. But he was disreputable. He gambled and smoked and told dirty jokes. I wasn’t disreputable, just unhappy. When my marriage was splitting up, my soon-to-be-ex told me, “I would have stuck it out with you.” Gosh, I thought. That’s what every girl wants to hear. But then, I thought I’d already be married again by now. My ex was married within a year of our divorce. To a woman he went to grad school with while we were still together.  I’m happy for them. I hope he sticks it out with her.

I had never been a little girl who dreamed of having a Barbie wedding and marrying Ken. I just assumed it would happen and things would work out, and we’d have a life. My parents have been married forever, and I can’t imagine them apart. My sister has left her husband, but she won’t divorce him. She doesn’t love him, but she won’t defile the sanctity of marriage even though he’s a devil dog and abusive and hurtful.

The thing is, I don’t want to settle for what anyone else thinks is the “right” path. I don’t believe that there’s only one perfect mate out there. I think there are perfect people who are perfect for us at certain points in our life.  This means that you don’t just get one perfect One. You get several perfect ones. And since we don’t know how long we get on this spin around the planet, why not just enjoy the ride and stop worrying about who’s married for how long, and to whom? It will happen when it’s right. And if “forever” means five years or fifty, it’s perfect in its own way. A very smart friend told me recently, “what’s forever in the span of eternity?” I like that perspective, because as it turns out, I’m in it for the long haul. Love, C

My two cents: I’m adopting Abraham-Hicks’ philosophy on love: “I like you pretty good, let’s see how it goes.”

appreciate you!

Have you ever looked back at an old picture, maybe from high school or maybe from just a few years ago and thought, “I can’t believe I used to think I was fat then, I looked amazing”? I did, just last week. I have a picture of my Grandma, mom, me, and my daughter,  taken about six years ago that I keep on my dresser. I love to look at it every day to remember my grandma who passed away a few years ago. Anyway, I look at myself and I look beautiful. I can remember that time, even that day, and I was not feeling beautiful or thin or anything good about myself at all. What a shame.

So I have something to propose to you: can we stop doing that to ourselves, right now, today? Personally I am tired of feeling bad about myself and beating up on myself for not looking or acting or being perfect or what I think perfect should be. Let’s start looking at all the things to appreciate about ourselves. You have so many things that are great about you. Can we focus on those, start with one or two things a day?

Some friends and I did this with Gratitude for a few weeks before Thanksgiving: everyone posted something they were grateful for every day on Facebook. It felt to nice, shifted the energy completely. So I am going to continue that now with appreciation, of myself and all the wonderful things in my life.

If you have stuff you’re going through now that is not wonderful, put it aside for a bit. There is probably nothing you can really do about it anyway, plus the fact is worrying isn’t going to help, period. So for now, really look for things you like about yourself and let’s focus on those. It’s probably been a long time if ever, that you gave yourself a pat on the back for a job well done or noticed that you really do have beautiful hair, or that you really are a good friend and a great listener.

See what happens when you start out with one or two a day. It will take on a life of its own. And to quote Seal, “I want you to always feel you’re amazing”. xo-K

My two cents: When you put your attention on what you like about yourself, you will start to see more to like and so will others.

***

Ah, yes, appreciation.  Did you know that appreciation is a wonderful tool for manifesting? Yep, it’s true. Try it. Try shutting down the inner critic. Well, that actually takes a bit of practice. Maybe to begin with you can try observing your thoughts and when you find that you’re being critical of anyone else or even yourself (it’s the same thing, really), turn that thought around. Instead of naming what’s wrong, find something that’s right. There, now. Doesn’t that feel better? And when you feel better, when your energy is higher, the outcomes you desire can more easily manifest. Who can’t love that?

To take appreciation a step further, make a list of things to appreciate. Obviously, this works better when you’re in a groovy, flowy, non-judgmental  mood than when you’re all cranky-boots about something. If you’re in a bad mood, it will cheer you up FAST. If you’re in a good mood, it will lift you up higher. I promise — this is some serious magic!

First, get out your journal and  title a page “ME.” Or “Things I Appreciate About ME.” Number the rows 1-10, and start. Begin with something easy, like “eyes.” Maybe you have beautiful eyes. Own that, you dazzling goddess! Then find something else about yourself to appreciate, like how you make the best hot chocolate in the known galaxy. Write it down. Keep going, you’re on a roll now! If you get stuck,  write what your best friend would say about you. Not enough? Try “I appreciate the fact that I’m willing to write a list about things I appreciate about myself.”

Self love is important. Especially if you’re looking for love “out there” because after all, if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to do it?

Oh, and, about the list? Here’s an extra-credit challenge for you. If you breezed through the list of ten without a hitch, amp it up. Try a list of 20 or even 30. You’ll find that once you get past the obvious, it’s a little harder and you may even have to start appreciating those things about yourself that you had not previously been so kind about. You can do it ~ and let us know what wonderful gifts you discover about yourself. Love, C

My two cents: No one can be you like YOU. You’re amazing!