Grr! I had one of those days, you know? My car (leased) had a leak last spring. I live in the rain belt, and was driving around one day after a crazy end-of-times downpour and heard water sloshing around inside the car. What? After a couple of days, the water noise persisted, so I drove into the dealership, where they discovered that a drainage tube from my sunroof had malfunctioned, and instead of draining outside the car, was pouring water into the passenger side of the car. Seriously?
Recently, I noticed a funky, spoiled milk smell in the car. So today when I delivered my car to the dealer for an oil change, I asked them to check it out. I waited all day, then called the service department to get a status report. After sitting on hold for a suspiciously long time, a guy came on and said they were “just finishing up.” Really? “What about the leak?” I asked. More time on hold. Well, the upshot is that there is in fact, a leak and while they haven’t exactly pinpointed it, they can’t fix it today because the guy who can authorize the extra-special work is out of town. Oi.
According to the all-seeing Google, my dealership is exactly 2.1 miles from where I work. So I went to a co-worker’s office, where my boss was also hanging. “What’s up,” my boss asked. “I need a ride,” I replied. “My car got serviced today and they didn’t fix it, but I need to pick it up.” Now, I swear to God, this is what happened: the co-worker hunched his shoulders and stared even harder at his computer screen. My boss looked at me and said “wow, that’s too bad,” and walked away.
Seriously? “Eff that,” I said to myself, and called a cab. Then naturally, I called K. “Don’t get all spiritual about it,” K advised, “get mad!” So I did. We both blew off steam together, and it felt really good! We ended up laughing because we just kept getting more outrageous about expressing our various reasons for being royally pissed off. You know what? I’m clear now, instead of being in a stew. Thank you, stupid co-workers! Love, C
My two cents: pushing down your feelings is like pushing a beach ball under water — they’ll just pop up again and again until you resolve them.
Anger is a valid emotion. It is in about the middle of the emotional guidance scale I mentioned a few posts back, but we all, for some reason have some issues when we or someone we know gets “angry.” Whether we think we are not entitled to being angry, or as C said before, it’s not spiritual to be angry, anger has been coming up for me and when something keeps showing up. . .there is something there for me to learn.
When you don’t own your feelings, when you don’t honor the fact that you have the right to feel however you feel, you are doing a disservice to yourself. If you don’t have your own back, OMG, well that’s a recipe for depression. We all have the right to feel how we feel. And if someone does something mean or stupid, well. . . you can be pissed about it! Then let it go.
I can tell you that is 100 percent true. When we first started writing this post, C was dumbfounded by the complete insensitivity she experienced at work. I on the other hand was mad at my mom. We both kinda went off and vented big time. It felt good, felt clear, I started writing kinda in the middle of all that and then had to go pick up kids or something so I just figured I would go back to this where I left off, but I couldn’t. I tried twice, we even started a whole other post and I still couldn’t get back to this one, until today. . . and it just hit me, since I had released the anger, vented with C, it was gone. I wasn’t angry anymore so I couldn’t call it back up and continue with the post with the same energy.
That’s the beauty of feeling your feelings, getting furious if that’s how you are feeling in the moment. Once you get it out, it’s done. Over. Awesome! Sure, you might get mad again, but you won’t go bonkers if someone cuts you off in traffic.You already let all the people from the last month or your whole lifetime, have a pass, which means you don’t have to vent now. Wow! See? It works out for everyone. xo-K
My two cents: everything is energy, and everything has value, even anger.